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It's been a while since I've posted. Maybe I'm getting used to the bizarre and stupid behavior of people who grace my cab with their presence. Even so, every now an then someone comes along that leaves me baffled.
The most annoying sound in the world
On the phone
Me: Bugarup T-
SC: EEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: - Head explodes-
SC: (suddenly all sweetness) Oh, may I please have a taxi to [address]?
Why? Just, why? You call the hotline, screech like a constipated banshee for no reason, then ask for a taxi as if nothing happened? My ears were ringing so loud it too three tries before I could hear the address correctly.
DawwwwwWHAT?!
Look, I'm flattered, but I am not interested in being your boyfried. Nor di I want to "Run away and have a hundred babies". I appreciate what you're trying to do, but the whole thing is ruined by the fact that your mum is in the back seat laughing her arse off, and the fact that you are only 6 years old. Come back in 20 years and we'll see. Right now, it's just wrong and creepy on so many levels.
To be fair, of all the people that have hit on me, she was the least disturbing. She was too cute to be mad at.
The Perfect Storm
There are a lot of things people do when calling for a taxi that annoy us. One or two per call is no big deal. This is the first time I've seen almost all of them in one call.
Me: Bugarup Taxi
SC: -Silence- (Strike 1: awkward silence)
Me: Hello, Bugarup Taxi
SC: Hello (Strike 2: Any call that starts with a straight "Hello" is guaranteed to take 3 times longer then necessary)
Me: Hello Sir, Do you require a taxi?
SC: Is the the taxi? (Strike 3: not listening)
Me: Yes sir
SC: In Bugarup? (Strike 4: NOT LISTENING! Also, the hotline automatically directs you to the correct taxi service*)
Me: Yes sir, Do you need a lift?
SC: Yes. (Strike 5: Well say it already?)
Me: Alright, where will we be picking you up?
SC: The Dive Bar
ME: No problem, we'll have a taxi to the Dive bar for you shortly
SC: No no, i want to go TO the Dive bar (Strike 6: Then why did you...never mind
)
Me: oh, ok, where are you now?
SC: Dunno. (Strike 7: Why do people never know where they are?)
Me: Right. Is there a street sign or other landmark nearby we can use to find you?
SC: I'm at Jimmy's place (Strike 8: We know around 10 Jimmies, and about 20 houses that can be refereed to as "Jimmy's place")
Me: Sorry, but you'll have to be more specific. Is there someone there who could tell you the street address?
SC: -Huge sigh- (Strike 9) Fine. JIMMY! WHAT THE %&$# IS YOUR ADDRESS, $%&#?!
Strikes 10, 11 and 12. Shouting at someone without taking the phone away from his face, asking the ever-knowing person in the background for the address, using the f-bomb as punctuation, and oh gourd, he's going inside now, where there is loud, terrible and bass-heavy music playing. Naturally, he seems to stand next to a speaker. That's 13.
Jimmy?: How the %&#$ should I know?! (Strike 14, ever-knowing person in the background is just a clueless as the caller. While, we're here, 15, Person in background is maybe 3 inches away from the phone and shouting)
SC: Well what $#&@ street is this?
Jimmy?: The $%&@ short one with the $%&@ shut down %&@# old $%&@ shop on the corner (16: I'm just going to delete the expletives now. They just get thicker, more frequent, and more nonsensical)
Hold on, there was a landmark in that hail of profanity
Me: Alright, You're on Drunkard Street. (17: the swearing added racial slurs at this point) I'm heading your way now. If you wait on the curb I'll be there in around 5 minutes.
SC -Just hangs up, 18!-
I find the house. I wasn't hard, I just followed the awful music and unintelligible strings of screamed nonsense. Surprise! No-one came out (19) but there were plenty of people staring at the cab like is was some strange an undiscovered creature (20). They never did call back (back to 19, I guess
)
*The hotline is a national number. Call it and it will connect you directly with the closest taxi service that uses that service. This is common public knowledge.
Sometimes I feel sympathy for people in call centers, dealing with the dregs of humanity. Then that feeling becomes jealousy. While they have to talk to these people, at no point are they confined in a small moving box with them.
The most annoying sound in the world
On the phone
Me: Bugarup T-
SC: EEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: - Head explodes-
SC: (suddenly all sweetness) Oh, may I please have a taxi to [address]?
Why? Just, why? You call the hotline, screech like a constipated banshee for no reason, then ask for a taxi as if nothing happened? My ears were ringing so loud it too three tries before I could hear the address correctly.
DawwwwwWHAT?!
Look, I'm flattered, but I am not interested in being your boyfried. Nor di I want to "Run away and have a hundred babies". I appreciate what you're trying to do, but the whole thing is ruined by the fact that your mum is in the back seat laughing her arse off, and the fact that you are only 6 years old. Come back in 20 years and we'll see. Right now, it's just wrong and creepy on so many levels.
To be fair, of all the people that have hit on me, she was the least disturbing. She was too cute to be mad at.
The Perfect Storm
There are a lot of things people do when calling for a taxi that annoy us. One or two per call is no big deal. This is the first time I've seen almost all of them in one call.
Me: Bugarup Taxi
SC: -Silence- (Strike 1: awkward silence)
Me: Hello, Bugarup Taxi
SC: Hello (Strike 2: Any call that starts with a straight "Hello" is guaranteed to take 3 times longer then necessary)
Me: Hello Sir, Do you require a taxi?
SC: Is the the taxi? (Strike 3: not listening)
Me: Yes sir
SC: In Bugarup? (Strike 4: NOT LISTENING! Also, the hotline automatically directs you to the correct taxi service*)
Me: Yes sir, Do you need a lift?
SC: Yes. (Strike 5: Well say it already?)
Me: Alright, where will we be picking you up?
SC: The Dive Bar
ME: No problem, we'll have a taxi to the Dive bar for you shortly
SC: No no, i want to go TO the Dive bar (Strike 6: Then why did you...never mind
)Me: oh, ok, where are you now?
SC: Dunno. (Strike 7: Why do people never know where they are?)
Me: Right. Is there a street sign or other landmark nearby we can use to find you?
SC: I'm at Jimmy's place (Strike 8: We know around 10 Jimmies, and about 20 houses that can be refereed to as "Jimmy's place")
Me: Sorry, but you'll have to be more specific. Is there someone there who could tell you the street address?
SC: -Huge sigh- (Strike 9) Fine. JIMMY! WHAT THE %&$# IS YOUR ADDRESS, $%&#?!
Strikes 10, 11 and 12. Shouting at someone without taking the phone away from his face, asking the ever-knowing person in the background for the address, using the f-bomb as punctuation, and oh gourd, he's going inside now, where there is loud, terrible and bass-heavy music playing. Naturally, he seems to stand next to a speaker. That's 13.
Jimmy?: How the %&#$ should I know?! (Strike 14, ever-knowing person in the background is just a clueless as the caller. While, we're here, 15, Person in background is maybe 3 inches away from the phone and shouting)
SC: Well what $#&@ street is this?
Jimmy?: The $%&@ short one with the $%&@ shut down %&@# old $%&@ shop on the corner (16: I'm just going to delete the expletives now. They just get thicker, more frequent, and more nonsensical)
Hold on, there was a landmark in that hail of profanity
Me: Alright, You're on Drunkard Street. (17: the swearing added racial slurs at this point) I'm heading your way now. If you wait on the curb I'll be there in around 5 minutes.
SC -Just hangs up, 18!-
I find the house. I wasn't hard, I just followed the awful music and unintelligible strings of screamed nonsense. Surprise! No-one came out (19) but there were plenty of people staring at the cab like is was some strange an undiscovered creature (20). They never did call back (back to 19, I guess
)*The hotline is a national number. Call it and it will connect you directly with the closest taxi service that uses that service. This is common public knowledge.
Sometimes I feel sympathy for people in call centers, dealing with the dregs of humanity. Then that feeling becomes jealousy. While they have to talk to these people, at no point are they confined in a small moving box with them.
rb
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