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Long hair is BEAUTY!

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  • Long hair is BEAUTY!

    About 12 years ago, my mom and I went to Hong Kong to visit my late grandmother (her mother).

    About some time during the visit, I told my mom that I was sick of having long hair, and wanted it all chopped off. One of my aunts took us to a barber shop and the deed was done.

    I could not wait to show my hair to my other grandmother (my dad's mother), with whom we were residing at the time. Did she react with joy and happiness?

    WRONG!

    She was mad as hell, venting and yelling about in Cantonese. Now, neither of my grandmothers speak English well at all (and I don't understand much Cantonese, either), so I was surprised to hear her say the word "BOY" in English. Implying that I looked like a boy now.

    And then this gem, again in English so that I could understand:

    "LONG HAIR IS BEAUTY!" and then more venting in Cantonese.

    Sorry that I could not translate, since again, I don't understand much Cantonese, despite being Chinese myself (that's another story).

    Did your friends and family have any reactions as strong as this? As in having a relative who doesn't speak much English becoming so angry as to try to speak in English to get his or her point across to you?
    cindybubbles (👧 ❤️ 🎂 )

    Enter Cindyland here!

  • #2
    My mom was just the opposite when I was growing up, she would never let me have long hair. The longest I ever had it was shorter than shoulder-length. She said I looked like crap with long hair (not sure how she'd know, since I was never allowed to grow it out.) Now my hair is down to the small of my back and she still gives me grief about it when she sees me, but at least she can't actively do anything about it.

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    • #3
      I'd be willing to bet it has to do with long hair being a sign of affluence. I have a friend that is married to a Vietnamese gentleman, and she commented that when she went over for the wedding, she was constantly being complemented on her long hair (VERY long hair) and very pale skin. Her MiL told her that in Vietnam, both were a sign of wealth, because it meant that you didn't work in the fields and had time to care for the long hair.
      "If your day is filled with firefighting, you need to start taking the matches away from the toddlers…” - HM

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      • #4
        Quoth MaggieTheCat View Post
        My mom was just the opposite when I was growing up, she would never let me have long hair. The longest I ever had it was shorter than shoulder-length. She said I looked like crap with long hair (not sure how she'd know, since I was never allowed to grow it out.) .
        My mom was a bit like that as well - always insisted that shorter hairstyles looked better on me, but I think it's because she's never really had long hair herself.

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        • #5
          I've given my hair the chop (as in, 12 + inches GONE) about three times before. The last time was in 2009 when I took it all the way down to a bob, but every time I got mostly positive reactions, I think simply because it was so different. When I was a kid, Dad liked my hair long so Mom never would cut more than a couple inches off of it.

          I have it down almost butt-length again now, simply because I like it that way at the present. Bleached two white streaks down the front pieces, but it's still long
          The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

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          • #6
            My grandparents and parents were kind of the opposite...sometimes they couldn't think of the word they wanted in English and used Polish instead (or German, my dad learned a bit in the Army in WW II).

            My sisters feel the same way about getting your hair cut, though....They both have very long hair. I used to, but I got tired of it and I get it cut now and then to around shoulder length.
            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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            • #7
              Back when I first started working in a machine shop, I had hair below my butt - so I went to a salon, and said I need really short hair and the lady was refusing to cut it. I grabbed my braid, grabbed the scissors and chopped it as short as I could get it - at the base of my neck it was about half an inch long. She cried. I sold it for a fair amount of money - over a thousand bucks. Over 2 feet of unbleached, undyed, unpermed, unhairdryered hair. [this was back in 1976]
              EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

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              • #8
                Ever since high school, I wanted short hair. Was told no. My mom wanted me to keep my hair long. My dad wanted a girly girl as a daughter.

                Once I hit 20, I cut it short. My mom hasn't seen it in person but she has seen my many styles of hair. She shockingly likes it. My dad and I are not on good terms anyways, but he seems to not mind the hair.

                I specificly went to my supervisor who works at a salon cause I knew she would not judge me. Though, the people who worked there and the high end clientel did give dirty looks. I said screw em and went on and got it done.

                Only horrible thing I heard was someone saying I offended them for having part of my head shaved. And not because it was in a mohawk. Because I chose to shave it to the skin and she didn't have that choice.

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                • #9
                  I've certainly seen the other side of the situation plenty, cb. (Like MoonCat.) Perfectly fluent EASL people lapsing into their native tongue when upset or angry. So maybe the reaction was just what you suspect - mad enough for a tirade that (since directed toward you) should have been in English, but so upset that all but the salient points were in Cantonese.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth sms001 View Post
                    I've certainly seen the other side of the situation plenty, cb. (Like MoonCat.) Perfectly fluent EASL people lapsing into their native tongue when upset or angry. So maybe the reaction was just what you suspect - mad enough for a tirade that (since directed toward you) should have been in English, but so upset that all but the salient points were in Cantonese.
                    Ah, but her English is bad, so she's definitely not fluent in it. That's why she was so mad that she made a point to try to speak English to me to get her point across.
                    cindybubbles (👧 ❤️ 🎂 )

                    Enter Cindyland here!

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                    • #11
                      My hair is very thick. I have to keep it somewhat short. It doesn't get too far past my shoulders, before I start getting headaches. This is even with the layering I get done when I get my hair cut.
                      "Oh, very good....Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. 'Ghosts are transparent.'" Severus Snape

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                      • #12
                        Quoth AccountingDrone View Post
                        Back when I first started working in a machine shop, I had hair below my butt - so I went to a salon, and said I need really short hair and the lady was refusing to cut it.
                        Don't know if you did this or not, but I would have told her "I have a new job where long hair is a safety hazard. Boss told me to get it cut TODAY or lose the job."
                        Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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                        • #13
                          My family and indeed culture (spanish) is like that as well. Long hair is more feminine and should be held onto at all costs. My hair was down to my waist and I LOVED it. Thick, black and curly. I was threatened by several family members and friends (mostly jokingly ) when I would query cutting my hair. My grandmother and paternal aunts all have hair that is down to their waists a few cousins also kept their hair similar until they moved out of their parents homes. Lol.

                          Of course, I completely shaved my head for my mother who was going through chemo and NO ONE breathed ill of it....probably b/c I would have hurt them. I miss my hair. But having short hair is FABULOUUSSS!

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                          • #14
                            Cutting my hair off was one of the best decisions I've made! It's so much easier. I have always played around with my hair, so it wasn't scary to me at all.

                            More power to everyone thinking about it.

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                            • #15
                              I was never allowed to cut my hair as a kid. I did all sorts of things to force the issue like putting gum in it (didn't work, mom was able to get it out), taking scissors to it myself (got in lots of trouble for that) and finally accidentally-on-purpose setting it on fire (it was wet, so it only singed, and yes, I know it was very stupid). The funny thing is that now as an adult I keep it very long.

                              As for the language thing, my most recent ex-boyfriend was bad about lapsing into Spanish when he was upset. Most of the time I'd just let him go on for a while then say "if there was anything important in there, could you repeat it in English please?"
                              At the conclusion of an Irish wedding, the priest said "Everybody please hug the person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

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