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My ex and I are close. We both married other people but stayed friends for a while, then stopped being friends. Now he has moved about an hour drive away and we hang out on weekends sometimes. He is a furry and has a group of furry family who aren't fond of me because I am " the evil ex". They don't know my rl name because he always called me a nickname. We are face book friends and comment on each other's posts. I jokely teased him about someone giving him an offensive nickname and one of his fur family flipped the he'll out at me demanding to know who the hell I was to speak to him in that manner. She says she is his family and she has the right to defend his honor and that I have no right to slander him.
Here is a transcript of the conversation
Original post
My coworkers have nicknamed me Walter White. I suppose I need to start watching breaking bad to find out if that is a good thing.
Me
Well, um. He is an affable sociopath. So...
A- self appointed defender of C
I've met real sociopaths.... C is NOT a sociopath. Thank goddess.
Me
Besides The beard it does not fit. And C can't do bald.
(I was with C for five years. He has a scar on his head and can't shave his head. He wanted to for a friend on chemo- this part I didn't post because most of his close friends know this)
A
The beard is perfect. And I bet C could totally pull off bald.. I think maybe you don't know C at all.
Me
Just get a yellow hasmat suit, a bald cap you have an instant costume.
A
... I thought you said C couldn't pull off bald?
Me
Aurelia , I have seen Chris with close cropped hair, he is much happier with hair.
Me
Calling her out by name. Autocorrect mangling her name
As a costume maybe, as a life style, I doubt he would be thrilled, I think he mentioned a scar in his scalp once.
A
First of all... you misspelled my name. Second of all... um, who are you exactly to judge my family?
Me
Your getting very defensive over a Facebook conversation.
A
I just don't take kindly when people accuse my family members of being sociopaths... as I said, I have known real sociopaths. And Chris is so far from that, it's not even funny. He is one of the kindest, most loving people I know... and he has done great things for the best people in my life. And I cannot stand idly by while people abuse and insult, even tongue-in-cheek, the people I love with some of the most profane of offenses.
Me
I did not call him a sociopath. I was describing Walter White. I was not insulting him. You are taking a comment and turning into something offensive in your own head. C and I can joke with each other. We are friends. You can take the comment out of context if you want. You can get hurt on his behalf. But that has no effect on the reality of the situation that I was joking with C. I am sure the comment wouldn't hurt his feelings. I am sorry you feel that I was attacking your friend. That is not my intention. As for my relationship with C and Who I Am, is none of your concern. I am a friend of C and that's all you should care about. I can joke with my friends.
A
Attacking my friend? Oh no, my darling, you were talking to my family. And your relationship to him IS my concern, as you so explicitly told me I should care about that fact, immediately after saying it. So I DO care. And it's fine you joke with your friends, just so long as it doesn't slander my family. Whether they politely acquiesce to your jibes out of obligation, that is their concern. But that does not make it any less appropriate for me to reproach on their behalf.
I am done here, I am finished with this conversation. It is mildly amusing, but pointless. Enjoy your evening.
Am I wrong in thinking this person is overreacting?
As a friend don't I have the right to joke with people who know me well. I really want to tell he the whole truth, hey you know his cat? We rescued that together. You know his ferrets? We go the original pair together? Who helped him get his drivers license, GED, got him into college and IT work, me. Who does he call the person who knows him best besides his WIFE - me. You call yourself family? That's great. I have an engadgement ring and a photo album that says I was family first. So yeah. I am annoyed but I know nothing changes the truth. I am his friend and we are close and most people are like "how can you be friends with you ex?" We broke up because we don't work, not because we don't love each other. I feel like this person is crazy for attacking a stranger.
So any advice would be great. I think th short answer is not to comment on his posts.
Here is a transcript of the conversation
Original post
My coworkers have nicknamed me Walter White. I suppose I need to start watching breaking bad to find out if that is a good thing.
Me
Well, um. He is an affable sociopath. So...
A- self appointed defender of C
I've met real sociopaths.... C is NOT a sociopath. Thank goddess.
Me
Besides The beard it does not fit. And C can't do bald.
(I was with C for five years. He has a scar on his head and can't shave his head. He wanted to for a friend on chemo- this part I didn't post because most of his close friends know this)
A
The beard is perfect. And I bet C could totally pull off bald.. I think maybe you don't know C at all.
Me
Just get a yellow hasmat suit, a bald cap you have an instant costume.
A
... I thought you said C couldn't pull off bald?
Me
Aurelia , I have seen Chris with close cropped hair, he is much happier with hair.
Me
Calling her out by name. Autocorrect mangling her name
As a costume maybe, as a life style, I doubt he would be thrilled, I think he mentioned a scar in his scalp once.
A
First of all... you misspelled my name. Second of all... um, who are you exactly to judge my family?
Me
Your getting very defensive over a Facebook conversation.
A
I just don't take kindly when people accuse my family members of being sociopaths... as I said, I have known real sociopaths. And Chris is so far from that, it's not even funny. He is one of the kindest, most loving people I know... and he has done great things for the best people in my life. And I cannot stand idly by while people abuse and insult, even tongue-in-cheek, the people I love with some of the most profane of offenses.
Me
I did not call him a sociopath. I was describing Walter White. I was not insulting him. You are taking a comment and turning into something offensive in your own head. C and I can joke with each other. We are friends. You can take the comment out of context if you want. You can get hurt on his behalf. But that has no effect on the reality of the situation that I was joking with C. I am sure the comment wouldn't hurt his feelings. I am sorry you feel that I was attacking your friend. That is not my intention. As for my relationship with C and Who I Am, is none of your concern. I am a friend of C and that's all you should care about. I can joke with my friends.
A
Attacking my friend? Oh no, my darling, you were talking to my family. And your relationship to him IS my concern, as you so explicitly told me I should care about that fact, immediately after saying it. So I DO care. And it's fine you joke with your friends, just so long as it doesn't slander my family. Whether they politely acquiesce to your jibes out of obligation, that is their concern. But that does not make it any less appropriate for me to reproach on their behalf.
I am done here, I am finished with this conversation. It is mildly amusing, but pointless. Enjoy your evening.
Am I wrong in thinking this person is overreacting?
As a friend don't I have the right to joke with people who know me well. I really want to tell he the whole truth, hey you know his cat? We rescued that together. You know his ferrets? We go the original pair together? Who helped him get his drivers license, GED, got him into college and IT work, me. Who does he call the person who knows him best besides his WIFE - me. You call yourself family? That's great. I have an engadgement ring and a photo album that says I was family first. So yeah. I am annoyed but I know nothing changes the truth. I am his friend and we are close and most people are like "how can you be friends with you ex?" We broke up because we don't work, not because we don't love each other. I feel like this person is crazy for attacking a stranger.
So any advice would be great. I think th short answer is not to comment on his posts.
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