So ya know how Jester likes to brag that he can cook...

[mathnerd]

The man doesn't lie.

He's cooked for me a few times now. All three dishes have been very good. The most notable, however, was the red sauce he made Saturday night. I'm severely allergic to tomatoes and haven't had a good red sauce, or any red sauce for that matter, in over a decade. He made a red sauce with red peppers as the base, and honestly, if I hadn't watched him cook it (and the fact that I kept breathing), I would have sworn it was a regular red sauce with peppers added to it for flavor. It was incredible.

I swear if I didn't live three hours away I'd crash his place and have him cook for me far more often.

[mjr]

mathnerd and Jester sitting in a tree...

[RayvenQ]

mathnerd and Jester sitting in a tree...

BUT WHY IS ALL THE RUM GONE

Oh, wait, Jester.....Sea Turtles, am I right?

[mathnerd]

BUT WHY IS ALL THE RUM GONE

Oh, wait, Jester.....Sea Turtles, am I right?

Rum? What rum? I have no idea what happened to the rum? Or the beer.

[Jester]

mathnerd and Jester sitting in a tree...

Riiiight. Because men and women can't be friends. Obviously.

BUT WHY IS ALL THE RUM GONE

Oh, wait, Jester.....Sea Turtles, am I right?

Manatees, actually.

Rum? What rum? I have no idea what happened to the rum? Or the beer.

You drank the beer, but only tasted the rum.

And while I did not let her taste the Mount Gay Tricentennial rum (the rum that I paid over $200 for a sixth of a bottle), I did let her smell it.

And let the first person who calls me chintzy or cheap cough up over two bills for a fraction of a bottle of booze, and see how they treat it.


Regarding that aforementioned red sauce, I am a lover of pasta, and not a huge fan of Alfredo sauce, though I do like it. But I viewed this as a challenge: making a red pasta sauce for someone who can't touch, let alone even eat, tomatoes.

So I did a little research online, found a recipe I liked, then made it (in my mind) better.

Tomato-Free Red Pasta Sauce

8 red bell peppers.
Fresh garlic.
1 lemon.
Extra virgin olive oil.
1 lb. ground beef.
Salt.
Black pepper.
White pepper.
Red pepper flakes.
Basil.
Oregano.
Sage.
Thyme.
1/2 lb. pasta of your choice.

For those who have never made their own roasted red peppers, I include instructions for those here. For those who have, skip ahead.

Chops tops and tails off of peppers. Cut peppers in half from top to bottom. Deseed and devein peppers. Flatten pepper halves with your hands so they lay semi-flat. On a tinfoil-wrapped baking sheet or pan, broil the peppers halves, skin side up, until mostly charred or blackened. Depending in your oven, this will take 5-15 minutes. Remove from oven, and pull tinfoil up and over the peppers to make a somewhat sealed envelope. Let peppers sweat in this envelope for 30 minutes or more. Unwrap tinfoil envelopes, peel skins off peppers. That this point, they should mostly come right off.

Coarsely chop roasted peppers and cloves of garlic (three or more; I used more, because I love garlic). Normally I mince garlic, but as you'll see, that is not necessary here. In a medium-sized saucepan, heat up tbsp or so of EVOO on a medium heat. (5 on a 10 dial on my stove.) Add peppers and garlic, as well as some salt. I can't tell you how much salt exactly, but don't skimp--get the mixture decently seasoned. Cover pot, let cook for 10 minutes. Dump mixture into food processor and pulse until a paste or sauce like consistency is achieved. You will probably need to add some EVOO to the processor to get the right texture.

In skillet on medium-high heat (8 on my 10 dial), brown the beef. Use whatever ground beef you want; I prefer 75/25 or 80/20 myself. As beef is browning, break it up with a wooden spoon so you have no large clumps. (What's that? You don't have a wooden spoon? What are you doing cooking pasta sauce without one? Get your ass to the store and buy yourself a wooden spoon or three. No kitchen is complete without wooden spoons!)

Once beef is browned, add pepper sauce to the skillet, stirring meat and sauce together. Add juice of 1 lemon. (Watch out for the seeds!) Turn heat down to a low-medium (4 on my 10 dial.)Healthily season with salt, black pepper, basil, and oregano. Add some sage, thyme, and white pepper. Add just a dash of red pepper flakes. This is how I seasoned it, but of course feel free to vary it. Also, feel free to try other spices, or fresh herbs instead of dry. Or even add some diced onions, mushrooms, and/or peppers to it, though I felt odd adding chopped peppers to a pepper sauce. It seemed somehow....wrong.

Once all seasoning has been added and stirred in, drop heat to a low setting and allow to simmer.

Cook pasta according to directions on box (or make your on fresh pasta!), drain in colander, and serve on plate(s), topping with sauce, or do as I did, and stir the pasta right into the sauce in the skillet. Serves 2. Adjust recipe for more guests. Serve with a nice beer or red wine. Watch guests rave about you online.

EDITED TO ADD: If you're feeling lazy, you could almost certainly make this sauce using premade (i.e. jarred) roasted red peppers. I'm sure it would turn out just fine, and it would cut out a huge chunk of prep time. If you're short on time, I would actually recommend going in this direction. Personally, I prefer using as many fresh ingredients as possible, and I had no pressing time constraints the night I made this.

[mathnerd]

You drank the beer, but only tasted the rum.

True. It was a beer kind of night.

And while I did not let her taste the Mount Gay Tricentennial rum (the rum that I paid over $200 for a sixth of a bottle), I did let her smell it.

And it smelled sublime. You have no idea the amount of self control it took not to beg for a taste of it.

Regarding that aforementioned red sauce, I am a lover of pasta, and not a huge fan of Alfredo sauce, though I do like it. But I viewed this as a challenge: making a red pasta sauce for someone who can't touch, let alone even eat, tomatoes.

And the effort was very much appreciated.

Personally, I prefer using as many fresh ingredients as possible, and I had no pressing time constraints the night I made this.

It also helped that your guest was over an hour late due to car trouble.

[AccountingDrone]

Recipe sounds good, if you like bell peppers, and I agree - roasting your own peppers [or really prepping any fresh ingredient] generally makes a recipe turn out the best. And I wouldn't blame anybody for opting to go with premade roast peppers if either your kitchen can't manage roasting the peppers or you are short of time.

And I don't see why hording a special rum is that big a deal, I certainly don't pass out my much lesser rum for general swilling, I save it for reasonably special occasions [mainly because it takes planning for me to afford the carb load booze provides.]

[Jester]

Recipe sounds good, if you like bell peppers...

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you don't need to like bell peppers to like this sauce. It is not really bell peppery, at all.

And I don't see why hording a special rum is that big a deal...

I don't either, but I suppose my thinking was that non-rum people might. I dunno. It was my thought process at the time.

Just realized that in the recipe above, I forgot to put in the part about adding the lemon juice, so I edited it to add it. Anyone who's copied the recipe, please go back and recoup it. This is an important step and an important ingredient...the acidity is needed to get the sauce closer to tomatoey, since red peppers don't have that acidity.

Sorry about that. But considering I was typing that all out from memory, I think I did a fairly decent job.

Also, a note on browning the beef...if you get a bit too much grease in the skillet, go ahead and drain some of it. I don't for my regular tomato sauce, as I think it adds something, but I did for this sauce, and I think that was the right choice. Of use leaner beef than I do. Your choice.

[crazylegs]

Riiiight. Because men and women can't be friends. Obviously.

So the Jester doesn't like being Jestered (wait, is that even a word, dammit it is now!)?

[Jester]

Oh, I don't mind. I'm an easy going dude, and I can take it as well as I dish it out. Though of course I dish it out very, very well. Doesn't mean I'm not going to point out holes in people's logic and thinking, though.

As for "jestered"? I'm good with it!

[mathnerd]

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you don't need to like bell peppers to like this sauce. It is not really bell peppery, at all.

I must concur. It really wasn't bell-peppery at all. Like I said before, if I didn't watch him cook it, I would have never guessed it was only red peppers. It had a light pepper flavor, but nothing overpowering. I actually plan on attempting to make it myself tonight. Either that or taking a three hour drive and crashing Jester's place with the necessary ingredients to make him cook it. I don't think he'd appreciate that though.

[Jester]

Most of the peppery flavor came, I think, from the black pepper, white pepper, and red pepper flakes I seasoned it with.

Also, seeing as I have other out of town guests arriving today, who I need to pick up a the airport in two hours, and who I have plans with, I really have no plans of cooking. So, yeah, tell me how your version turns out, and what changes you make to it.

[mathnerd]

lol. While I am plotting to come up with an excuse to visit Key West again, I really wasn't serious about showing up tonight. Friday maybe. Or not. Babysitting is an issue. Unless you know somebody who wants a couple kids for a few days. Next month...

[Jester]

I forgot to mention in the recipe that you use 1/2 pound of pasta, which is usually half a box, not the whole thing, and that the above recipe feeds 2 people. I have edited the recipe to reflect these things.

MN, as long as I get sufficient notice, I'm fine. And whether you were joking or serious, this weekend is bad, as I have the Cape Codders in town (they arrived Saturday), as well as the Ohioans, who I'm picking up at the airport shortly. In short, I will be busy this weekend. Luckily, all five of these folks are older than me, and I can outdrink them all, so I won't be as crazy as I have been the last few weeks of event upon event that we get every year at this time (Fantasy Fest followed by the Parrotheads followed by the powerboat races).

[mathnerd]

Eh, it'll be a couple weeks at least. I have tickets to the Dolphins' game this Sunday, and my boys would kill me if I missed it. My bar friends are getting shitty with me cause I keep missing Sunday afternoons with them, so that's the plan for the following weekend. The weekend after that is Thanksgiving weekend, and not one that I'm willing to leave the boys with a sitter for. Maybe the one after that? And that's assuming Eddie decides to behave for that long.