Samples Of Suckiness (Contains Strong Language)

[Rattslinger]

I'd like to give you some examples of something calls I've taken over the last 3 years. I get variations of calls like these everyday and I take about 100+ calls a day.

Me: Thank you for calling how can I help you?
SC: ::inaudible mumble::
Me: ::turns up headset:: Could you please repeat what you said, I couldn't here you, I apologize like.
SC: ::inaudible mumble::
Me: ::turns up headset to maximum:: Could you please repeat that, I apologize I still could not hear again.
SC: ::Screams at top of lungs:: CAN YOU HERE ME NOW YOU DEAF MOTHER F*CKER OR DO I NEED TO SCREAM LOUDER ASSH*LE!

Me: Thank you for calling how can I help you?
SC: Yeah I'd like to uh change the uh address uh of uh package.
Me: I'd be happy to help you with that. ::SC gives me information doesn't match order:: Could you please verify the information on the shipment.
SC: Uh why do I need to do that, just send it to the news address.
Me: Sir I need you to verify the information for security purposes, I apologize.
SC: Uh....., um, just send it to the news address it's my mom's package...
Me: I show this package is for a male, not a lady.
SC: Oh f*ck you! ::hangs up::

Me: Thank you for calling how can I help you?
SC: I'd like a price from the US to Africa.
Me: May I please have the country and the city in Africa, then may I may have the weight and size of the package?
SC: You don't need that information give me the price.
Me: I apologize but I do need the information to give you a price.
SC: Africa you retard!
Me: Africa is a continent sir, I need the country in Africa and the city.
SC: I know Africa is a continent, I'm not a retard, like you.
::SC hung up::

[MoonCat]

I've been working on the phone for 35 years. You have my sympathies.

Story #1: I would hang up at that point, then hit the button that takes me temporarily out of the phone system...or if it's busy, take another call. Let the asshole wait on hold again.

Story #2: Clearly a scammer. Good for you for not letting him get away with it!

Story #3: God, what an idiot. "Where in Africa? Nigeria, South Africa, the Congo, Tanzania..?" I'd keep listing every place I could think of until he got the point (or hung up. I'm not fussy).

Gotta love (not) the general public.

[roxtar]

Story #3: God, what an idiot. "Where in Africa? Nigeria, South Africa, the Congo, Tanzania..?" I'd keep listing every place I could think of until he got the point (or hung up. I'm not fussy).

"are you shipping a feather? a letter? a brick? an anvil? a buick? because some of those don't fit in an envelope"

[raudf]

I've gotten the repair center version of all three.. and I wished every day that AT&T had come through and actually invented "reach out and touch someone," because I wanted to smack each of them with various really heavy, thick books.

#1 was pretty much the same. I began to think they were afraid everyone in their house was going to hear them when they spoke.

#2 was often a family member claiming they had the object to be repaired. We couldn't do anything unless they could actually verify a few things, which most often than not, they couldn't tell me what the object was... >.<

#3 could be split into two things, either zip code or estimates for repairs. Seriously, don't say, "I'm in Little Rock," without giving me a zip code. Little Rock had like 10 zip codes at the time and I only knew the area of the repair center itself. And no, I can't give estimates without knowing exactly is wrong with the product. I might if you gave me something more than, "it won't start/come on." Fine, I'll just quote you the cost of a new lawn tractor, because as far as I'm concerned, that's what it could be.

[Mriswith]

SC: You don't need that information give me the price.

Me: Very well. Your shipping will be $39,827.19, and we do require payment in advance. How would you like to take care of this?

[roxtar]

so what would be the shipping price for a cubic furlong of osmium going from El Paso to the summit of kilimanjaro? and can you even ship something that weighs 1.83676794 × 10^11 kilograms?

[dalesys]

...a cubic furlong of osmium ...

We've arranged a futures contract for a drop shipment from our smelters in the asteroid belt. You catch it you keep it.