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Ah, yes, the time between Thanksgiving and Xmas, where everyone turns into colossal dickheads, moreso, because they seem to think it's immoral/unethical/illegal to tow for being illegally parked on a "holiday", which to your average SC means everything from a week BEFORE Turkey Day to New Years.........
Which segues nicely into my first mass-ass encounter of Christmas. It was a family affair. First up, was Son of Dickhead.
No, you don't own this parking lot or the house son, see, they are property of Global Domination Realty LLC, not you. So no, I will not be letting this permitless car of yours stay here.
You backtracked awfully quickly out of that argument when you realized I wasn't going to fall for it, but then you decided to go the democratic approach. That is, if you could find 5 people in the house that agreed towing that car for having no permit was "stupid" and shouldn't be allowed, then I'd just have to give up because it's 5 to 1.
Sorry, this ain't a democracy, it's not even an oligarchy, think of it more as, THE JUNGLE where there are only predators and prey, guess who is who here?
Oh, now your whole FAMILY is surrounding me, we've got you, Daddy dickhead (Argle-bargling about how "For how much I pay for his rent I SHOULDN'T NEED A F*CKIN' PERMIT TO PARK HERE!" Mommy Dickhead ("You tell Global Domination Reality that we won't rent here again if they treat tenants like this") Auntie Dickhead (This is ridiculous and you're a crook!) Cousin Dickhead, (who I suspect lives in fear that he actually has some great untapped affinity for hairdressing and interior decorating because he immediately challenged me to a fistfight to prove his manhood) had all chimed in before it was over.
Dad also takes some time to make it clear he was only there for ONE MINUTE so permit or not, I'm being unreasonable, selfish, you know, the usual, just take it all from the top shelf and put in a big glass for me barkeep, I've had it all before.
And now I think I see the problem, it's Daddy's car I was fixing to tow, apparently you told him it was cool to park there without a permit when it, in fact, was not.
Well this is going swimmingly, just swimmingly, like swimming in a waste lagoon at a poultry farm
Now Daddy is telling me he's going to call the cops, that's cool bro, I'll wait.
He seems a bit taken back at this, he again says he'll call them, I again say I'll wait.
NO! he yells, I have to leave, RIGHT NOW!
I tell him I don't have to, since he, like his son, doesn't own the lot and doesn't make the rules, and since I'm legally empowered to act as their towing agent, I have no reason to listen to them. I'll gladly stay if he wants to challenge the legality of this and summon officers (casting cost, 3 blue, 1 red, 4 rage, 1 ego) but otherwise, I will go, because I have other cars to tow, but only after I'm sure you're outta here.
Cousin Dickhead takes this as another opportunity to prove he's a REAL MAHN (tm) and call me a "pussy" as I back out of the lot and head off to the next one on my route, while Daddy yells "GET HIS PLATE! GET HIS PLATE!"
Why? No idea, it's not registered to me and won't come back to me
and it says "TOWING" right on it, like the plates of all towing vehicles in this state, even starts with special letter combos "RT - xxxxx"
I guess it should come as no surprise that when I mentioned the incident later to the gals at Global Domination Reality's office, in case they get a "complaint" about my "rudeness" they just laughed when I gave the address.
Seems that tenant has only been there for one semester and already owes them over $800 in property damage related to his occupancy. Methinks that complaint isn't going to get very far.
Which segues nicely into my first mass-ass encounter of Christmas. It was a family affair. First up, was Son of Dickhead.
No, you don't own this parking lot or the house son, see, they are property of Global Domination Realty LLC, not you. So no, I will not be letting this permitless car of yours stay here.
You backtracked awfully quickly out of that argument when you realized I wasn't going to fall for it, but then you decided to go the democratic approach. That is, if you could find 5 people in the house that agreed towing that car for having no permit was "stupid" and shouldn't be allowed, then I'd just have to give up because it's 5 to 1.
Sorry, this ain't a democracy, it's not even an oligarchy, think of it more as, THE JUNGLE where there are only predators and prey, guess who is who here?
Oh, now your whole FAMILY is surrounding me, we've got you, Daddy dickhead (Argle-bargling about how "For how much I pay for his rent I SHOULDN'T NEED A F*CKIN' PERMIT TO PARK HERE!" Mommy Dickhead ("You tell Global Domination Reality that we won't rent here again if they treat tenants like this") Auntie Dickhead (This is ridiculous and you're a crook!) Cousin Dickhead, (who I suspect lives in fear that he actually has some great untapped affinity for hairdressing and interior decorating because he immediately challenged me to a fistfight to prove his manhood) had all chimed in before it was over.
Dad also takes some time to make it clear he was only there for ONE MINUTE so permit or not, I'm being unreasonable, selfish, you know, the usual, just take it all from the top shelf and put in a big glass for me barkeep, I've had it all before.
And now I think I see the problem, it's Daddy's car I was fixing to tow, apparently you told him it was cool to park there without a permit when it, in fact, was not.
Well this is going swimmingly, just swimmingly, like swimming in a waste lagoon at a poultry farm
Now Daddy is telling me he's going to call the cops, that's cool bro, I'll wait.
He seems a bit taken back at this, he again says he'll call them, I again say I'll wait.
NO! he yells, I have to leave, RIGHT NOW!
I tell him I don't have to, since he, like his son, doesn't own the lot and doesn't make the rules, and since I'm legally empowered to act as their towing agent, I have no reason to listen to them. I'll gladly stay if he wants to challenge the legality of this and summon officers (casting cost, 3 blue, 1 red, 4 rage, 1 ego) but otherwise, I will go, because I have other cars to tow, but only after I'm sure you're outta here.
Cousin Dickhead takes this as another opportunity to prove he's a REAL MAHN (tm) and call me a "pussy" as I back out of the lot and head off to the next one on my route, while Daddy yells "GET HIS PLATE! GET HIS PLATE!"
Why? No idea, it's not registered to me and won't come back to me
and it says "TOWING" right on it, like the plates of all towing vehicles in this state, even starts with special letter combos "RT - xxxxx" I guess it should come as no surprise that when I mentioned the incident later to the gals at Global Domination Reality's office, in case they get a "complaint" about my "rudeness" they just laughed when I gave the address.
Seems that tenant has only been there for one semester and already owes them over $800 in property damage related to his occupancy.
Methinks that complaint isn't going to get very far.
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