Trying to Understanding SC Logic 101

[Mytical]

For years I've been trying to understand Customer Standard Time, SC Logic, and EW behavior. I'm sure I am not the only one.

At first I believed (for a little bit) I finally found away. Severe brain trauma... as in going to the nearest brick wall and hitting my head against it until I was almost unconscious. Alas even that failed. Just when I thought "Ok this has to be the absolute bottom of the barrel" I find out it is just one layer of about 1 million layers of insanity. So Welcome to Trying to Understand SC logic 101. This is an introductory course, so we will only be covering the top of the first layer, with more advance courses coming later. While the sane can not fully understand SC logic, this course will hopefully begin to give us SOME insight.

Here is how it works. I will post a topic, and somebody else will try to make sense of SC logic, helping us to figure out why things are the way they are. Others may also weigh in on the topic. Then the first person to respond (and only the first person) will post a topic, and the next person will again try to make sense of the logic. Now there are only so many topics to cover, so every two weeks we will go deeper down the rabbit hole. I will however place the disclaimer that any insanity resulting from this course I am not liable for. You have been warned.

First topic. Customer Standard Time. Why is it that sometimes the customer passes minutes and claims it to be hours, and sometimes passes hours and claims it to be minutes or seconds?

[BookstoreEscapee]

They missed that day in kindergarten when they taught how to read a clock?

Why do they think we can find a book/movie/etc. by keywords such as "the" and "a"..?

[cindybubbles]

Customer Standard Time depends on the attention span of the customer. A watched pot never boils, but an unwatched one spills all over the place.

When a customer is waiting and pays attention, such as when checking out and paying for items, time seems to go slowly in that person's mind, which means that what is minutes to you is hours to them.

However, when a customer is not paying attention, such as when parking illegally, time seems to fly in their minds. Therefore, what seems to be 10 minutes to them when they are partying is actually 1 hour to the person waiting to tow their car away.

As for the second topic, the words "the" and "a" are the most common and therefore, the words that they know best.

Finally, why are the parents who let their naughty children run around the store unsupervised and then bitch and scream at the clerks who try to keep the kids safe, parents in the first place?

[Gravekeeper]

Finally, why are the parents who let their naughty children run around the store unsupervised and then bitch and scream at the clerks who try to keep the kids safe, parents in the first place?

You're asking why someone careless enough to let their children run around unsupervised doesn't know how to safely operate a penis? We need to start tagging scrotums with little user manuals like airport baggage tags. User manual and safety precautions on one side, proper washing instructions on the other.

[Kazim]

Sadly even that won't help GK, SC's never read manuals anyway.

[Jester]

You're asking why someone careless enough to let their children run around unsupervised doesn't know how to safely operate a penis?

Just about the funniest thing I've heard today. And all too true.

[cindybubbles]

You're asking why someone careless enough to let their children run around unsupervised doesn't know how to safely operate a penis? We need to start tagging scrotums with little user manuals like airport baggage tags. User manual and safety precautions on one side, proper washing instructions on the other.

Yes, but I'm also asking why they didn't just give the kids up for adoption or leave them with the grandparents.

I'm also asking why those parents scream at the clerks for protecting their speshul snowflakes. If the children really are "speshul", the parents wouldn't let them run around in the first place!

[Jester]

Yes, but I'm also asking why they didn't just give the kids up for adoption or leave them with the grandparents.

And now you're asking why people who are clearly not sensible or logical didn't make sensible and logical decisions regarding their children.

You really need to spend some more time reading this website, methinks.

[Argabarga]

Sometimes, the denseness of the populace makes me wonder, how is it that most people can figure out how to work their genitalia as-is WITHOUT consulting a manual?

At least I assume they're not pausing during makeout sessions to reach for their phones and awkwardly scroll down the screen some more.

[TheSHAD0W]

Well, this game went completely and hilariously off the rails.

Let me begin again: Why do SCs always think you can pull stuff that isn't in stock out of your ass?

[Gravekeeper]

Why do SCs always think you can pull stuff that isn't in stock out of your ass?

They've never let go of their childhood sense of magic and wonder.

[cindybubbles]

Ok, so my turn again.

Why do customers use expired coupons and then bitch and scream at the clerk when he or she tells them that the coupons are expired? Also, why do customers pull out coupons from other companies and expect the clerks at this store to honour them?

[cindybubbles]

And now you're asking why people who are clearly not sensible or logical didn't make sensible and logical decisions regarding their children.

You really need to spend some more time reading this website, methinks.

I read this site every day. Also, my mother isn't against early or first-term abortions, so I'm thinking that religion and the "cuteness" that the sucky parents see in their kids are the only reasons why they keep them around.

[Argabarga]

They've never let go of their childhood sense of magic and wonder.

Or their childhood ability to throw tantrums when they don't get their way

[MoonCat]

Ok, so my turn again.

Why do customers use expired coupons and then bitch and scream at the clerk when he or she tells them that the coupons are expired? Also, why do customers pull out coupons from other companies and expect the clerks at this store to honour them?

Because in their minds, rules don't apply to them, and a store is a store, so why can't you take any store's coupon?

Why do people ask you a question, interrupt you in the middle of your answer, and then complain that you're not giving them the information that they asked for?