The Tow Files: Deep Freeze Edition

[Argabarga]

2014 is still wet behind the ears, but it hasn't wasted any time in giving me some people who's temperments are like both the weather and the coffee around these parts about now.

Namely, cold, dark and bitter.



Hey You! Out There on the Road, Always Doin' What You're Told. Can you Help me?

Guy calls up and leaves message on our machine (It's the weekend, no dispatcher working after noon and we were all tied up). He needs a tire change.

Slight problem with that. You've heard of "BFE" addresses before, right? Well, that's where this guy was. In fact, I suspect that if you drove an additional 100 yards past where he says he's at, that's about where you'd tumble off the proverbial grid and into the inky black mass below that no one ever returns from.

Naturally, we go to call him back and explain that we can't drive the 70 some miles to where he is and change his tire.

He doesn't pick up his phone, goes to voicemail, we leave a message. Sorry, we are unable to help.

About 20 minutes later, he calls back and leaves another message.

He wants to know what the PRICE would be for us to come out and help. After we already told him we AREN'T DOING IT.

Technically, that would make the price infinite, wouldn't it? Since it won't happen? Or would it be one of those divide-by-zero thingies that usually cause a microprocessor to stroke-out and then something spectacular happens? Like, that's the reason there are several man-made craters on the surface of Mars right now?

Anyway, we go to call him back. This time, he doesn't even pick up, not even the voicemail.....

Not that I'm all choked up about that, but, I wonder:

Did he bump his head and jar that lone functioning neuron back online, and realize that when we said we weren't coming, it meant we weren't coming? Or did his intelligence just hit it's natural half-life and decay to the point that now he can't figure out how to use his phone?

Either way, no longer our problem.

And how did he get our number anyway? This wasn't a motor club call, this was just some guy who tried calling a place nearly two hours away when he had a problem............


Pathological Illiteracy

Guy emailed to complain about being ticketed/towed at a meter earlier this week. Says there were, say it with me now kids, no signs at all saying that would happen.

Just to try and cut this futile argument way wayyyyyyyyyyy shorter than it needs to be, I go down to said meter lot and snap a picture. Several pictures. Of the SEVEN signs (One at each entrance, one in the middle of each row, I counted) that all say:

PRIVATE METER PARKING
VEHICLES AT EXPIRED METERS
WILL BE TICKETED/TOWED AT
OWNERS EXPENSE 24/7
NO FREE HOLIDAY OR
WEEKEND PARKING.

FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD TOWING
XXX-XXXX

We then attach said pics to our email and send it to him.

Naturally, that didn't end the argument.

He emailed back that it doesn't matter what the signs say, because it was a Holiday

He got nailed on Martin Luther King day, no offense to ol' MLK, but that's a D-list holiday. The kind where you'd never realize it was a holiday unless you try and use the post office and aren't at first sure why it's closed. It's kinda like Presidents Day, where only the Mail and Retail Mattress Sales are affected. Seriously, ever notice how many furniture stores have the irresistible urge to put things on sale during Presidents Day? I don't get that. Might as well argue that it was really National Asparagus Appreciation Day. If you aren't immune on the BIG BOY holidays, then the ones that are youtube celebrities by comparison mean squat.

Uh, Sir, you are aware those pics of the Seven Sisters...... er, I mean, Seven Signs I just emailed you say "NO HOLIDAY PARKING" right on them? Right?

Ah, who am I kiddin', apparently the "Can't read signs" ability also extends to the .JPG format as well. I mean, if the ol' MK. 1.0 Eyeball can't read em' in person, why would pictures help? What a fool I was for expecting better.

The Monkey House at the zoo needs better locks on that back door..... that's all I can say.



All in All, We're Just Another Brick in the Wall, That he Keeps Slamming His Head Into

You keep getting towed from that lot because you don't have a permit, Sir. Those are the rules of the lot per Global Domination Reality. No permit? No parking. Your residency there is inconsequential, academic, superfluous to the rules. In case those words were too big for you, here's the abridged version: Shove Off!

Oh, yes, I do agree that it's awfully "inconvenient" (your words not mine) for you to keep having to come down here every Monday and pick up your car, at $115 a pop my rough math indicates you've spent nearly $460 in this manner this year. But the problem is, you're going to KEEP getting towed because you DON'T have a permit.

Hey, since you live there, here's an idea. GET A PERMIT FROM THE OFFICE.

Oh, you can't? They won't sell you one? Even though you "Offered them hundreds of bucks" (your words not mine) ?

Uh huh.

I think I see the real issue

You're illegally subletting aren't you? Crashing at a friends place in exchange for beer money because you got kicked out of yours or otherwise can't afford the rent on anything in this town larger than a discarded cardboard box behind Home Depot that says "Maytag" on the side? huh?

You don't have to answer that, the lengthy pauses as you mentally tried to chose the right words to comeback to that without admitting to MORE rulebreaking were all the affirmation I needed.

Well no wonder you keep getting towed and can't get a permit, it takes more than physically existing at an address to count as a real "resident" (my word, not yours)

You realize that place has temp permits that ANYONE can buy right? I mean, all you need to do is go online to the GDR website and you can buy one and print it out on your computer... you can sneak in "through the back" that way, they don't cross-check plates/cars against whos been towed out of there. As long as they have their cash, you get a temp.

Oh, that won't work because you "don't have a printer"

Okay, well, sorry, you're out of luck then.

No, I'm not being unreasonable. This is the 21st Century, claiming you don't have free access to a printer SOMEWHERE is like claiming you don't have free access to oxygen.

This whole thing just smells of laziness/scamming on your part, especially with those weak excuses.

And don't tell me you don't have the money to just buy your own darn printer. Because between our conversation above and me getting around to posting about it, Monday rolled around again, and we got your car, AGAIN.

Spoiler Alert: You could have bought a very NICE printer for that $115

[blas]

There's a lot of people who make things harder on themselves, almost on purpose. I think just to be able to be upset with someone and to be able to complain.

Seems to me, anyway. I know a person or two who was always cutting their nose to spite their face, then running around screaming that they had no nose.

(not literally, lol)

[gremcint]

115 dollars, yes actually that could buy you a nice printer. I'm not a big fan of canon but they've got one on sale for 50 dollars right now, that becomes 70 roughly after recycling fee and taxes leaving 45 dollars for paper, usb cable and extended warranty which with our one day sale only adds another 34 dollars plus tax. there's not enough for extra ink in there but the little tiny bit it comes with will be enough to print your sorry ass a parking permit.

So argabarga take it from an expert 115 dollars can not only get him the printer but everything he needs aside from the computer to print a parking permit. If he needs the computer then replace the usb cable with a cheap ass router buy a 70 dollar pos andoid tablet and print it from the wireless app still coming in at around 200 dollars all said and done which is still less than 2 weeks of fines.

[eltf177]

OK, he buys the printer. Anyone care to bet that instead of getting a legit permit he uses it to make a fake one? A really _bad_ fake one that stands out like a neon sign?

[Barracuda]

Heck, any UPS, Mailbox, or Xerox type store will let you print stuff out for a buck or so.

[Argabarga]

There's a lot of people who make things harder on themselves, almost on purpose. I think just to be able to be upset with someone and to be able to complain.

This, for truth.


Now, the interesting thing would be figuring out if they're aware they're doing it and hoping for sympathy, or if being a victim of Da Man (tm) is so ingrained in their minds at this point that it's become reflex?

[Seshat]

Sadly, I'd say reflex.

[Ryuugan80]

Are there no libraries where he lives? Or is it just far away that he can't get to it because you keep taking his car? ;-)

[raudf]

Stupidity is a high maintenance beastie, isn't it? I'd say he has a towing addiction by this point, because of how far he'll go out of his way to resolve the issue of being constantly towed.

[XCashier]

Yeah, Pink Floyd!

There's a lot of people who make things harder on themselves, almost on purpose. I think just to be able to be upset with someone and to be able to complain.

It does make you wonder, doesn't it? This goes beyond mere stupidity. Masochism must be more common than we thought.

[Sapphire Silk]

To hell with a printer . . . if he can afford to get his car towed once a week, he can afford to pay real rent on a real apartment all his own.

[Pixilated]

Are there no libraries where he lives? Or is it just far away that he can't get to it because you keep taking his car? ;-)

You're assuming he knows what a library is.

[ADeMartino]

To hell with a printer . . . if he can afford to get his car towed once a week, he can afford to pay real rent on a real apartment all his own.

I've long given up trying to understand their logic. The bottom line is, he thinks that the world owes him a solution and can't be bothered to figure one out by himself. For me the exchange would have been simple:

"Look, partner, this is the bottom line. To park there, you need a permit. If you park there without a permit, YOU'RE GOING TO GET TOWED. We've danced this tango several times already, that alone should be proof that what I'm telling you is fact. You can get a temporary permit from their web site. Don't have a printer? Sorry to hear that. Well, no, not really, but nonetheless, this is not the insurmountable problem you seem to think it is. I'm sure you'll find a way. If not, I'm sure we'll be seeing each other again real soon."

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

OK, he buys the printer. Anyone care to bet that instead of getting a legit permit he uses it to make a fake one? A really _bad_ fake one that stands out like a neon sign?

I don't take sucker bets.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I don't think it's masochism that prompts these people to keep doing this.

It's insanity. After all, insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

But really, a lot of these poor unfortunate souls I think continue to do these things because they refuse to let The Man(TM) tell them what they can and cannot do, and so they'll keep doing it, because fuck The Man(TM).

Not realizing, of course, that The Man(TM) won't let them win, not when The Man(TM) can continue to make money off their insanity.