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  • Oh, Sales,....

    How I loathe you.
    This week they book a group of foreigners with us. Only one spoke English, and he was never around. Seriously? One foreigner is bad enough but a whole group of them??
    Thankfully, most of them minded their own beeswax but a few were special.

    Special #1: You...help...Internetz?

    He was shoving a laptop at me. Oh. Ok, Internet connection. I'm not an IT but I might as well be because of all the Internet question I get. I'll give it a shot. Hopefully, it's a Windows because I only have one Apple product at home, all the rest are Windows so I have very little experience with Macs...
    Shit. It's a Mac. Sigh.

    So I poke and try around, looking for his browser. Finally I find it, and a bunch of weird letters come flying out. It's not only a Mac, it's in Saudi Arabian (or where they came from.) How the frack am I supposed to connect this laptop when I can't READ it!

    Me: *facedesk* I can't read this. I can't connect you.

    Special #1: *insistingly* You help! You help! YOU! Heeeelp!

    It took a long time to shoo him away.

    Special # 2: *on phone* I need. Speak. to [name]

    Me: Huh?

    Special #2: He should be there in lobby.

    Me: Sir. THere's about a hundred people in the lobby. You can't expect me to ask everyone of them if he's [name].

    Special # 2: Hes group.

    Me: All of them are with the group.

    Special #2: Ask. Ask!

    So I get my manager to ask. It took a while but finally he came to speak to Special # 2. Geez. My forehead is bruised.

    Unrelated story: Late night a bunch of loud people came storming in. They went straightt to the elevator and punch the button. I'll call the SC DB for this, for Dumb Bimbo.

    DB: Like, where is the Motherf**king elevator?! It's so slow!

    Me: ...yep...

    DB: I need the stairs! Where're the MotherF**king stairs!

    Me: There're over there. *points*

    DB: *Looks at me like I just told her run around outside naked* ....

    Elevator: *doors open*

    DB's friend: Come on DB, it's open.

    DB: She said told me where the stairs were. Can you believe it? She told me WHERE THEY WERE!

    Hey, if you ask, even rhetorically, I'll answer. Tis my job.
    Last edited by DGoddessChardonnay; 03-10-2014, 08:00 PM. Reason: removed ethnic information - not needed
    Can't reason with the unreasonable.
    The only thing worse than not getting hired is getting hired.

  • #2
    Quoth HotelMinion View Post
    DB: Like, where is the Motherf**king elevator?! It's so slow!

    DB: I need the stairs! Where're the MotherF**king stairs!
    Answer I'd be tempted to give: "Unlike yourselves, our elevator and stairs don't fit the redneck stereotype."
    Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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    • #3
      Why would someone ask where something was, and not expect an answer?
      I might be crazy, but I'm not Insane.

      What? You don't play with flamethrowers on the weekends? You are strange.

      Comment


      • #4
        The foreigners remind me of certain foreign tour groups that drive the tourist-trap workers here nuts. I swear it's something about those large groups too, because individual families on vacation from the same countries are usually pleasant.

        Comment


        • #5
          DB: I need the stairs! Where're the MotherF**king stairs!
          Apparently this was code, and the correct answer is, "Sorry, ma'am, I'll magically make the elevator appear for you right this second."
          When you start at zero, everything's progress.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth HotelMinion View Post
            DB: I need the stairs! Where're the MotherF**king stairs!

            Me: There're over there. *points*

            DB: *Looks at me like I just told her run around outside naked* ....

            Elevator: *doors open*

            DB's friend: Come on DB, it's open.

            DB: She said told me where the stairs were. Can you believe it? She told me WHERE THEY WERE!
            Well, yes. What the hell was she expecting you to do? Have Tinkerbell zap them with fairy dust so they can fly to the upper floors?!

            Some people are just plain stupid and trying to figure out their thought processes will cause migraines. Pity we can't just shoot the grotesquely stupid and put them out of our misery.
            I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
            My LiveJournal
            A page we can all agree with!

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            • #7
              Quoth Gilhelmi View Post
              Why would someone ask where something was, and not expect an answer?
              Because Drunk Logic is not our logic. It is like Orange-Blue Morality, mostly incomprehensible to the sober.
              The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
              "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
              Hoc spatio locantur.

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              • #8
                Quoth HotelMinion View Post
                Elevator: *doors open*

                DB's friend: Come on DB, it's open.

                DB: She said told me where the stairs were. Can you believe it? She told me WHERE THEY WERE!
                I'm torn on this one...not sure whether I prefer "All these MotherF**king stairs in this MotherF**king store!!"or "Well, of course -- he expected you to CARRY him up the stairs!"
                "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                • #9
                  Have you had any anyone ask for help with the internet and then hand you a laptop running Linux, or some other lesser known OS? What do you do then? Mine's a little complex because it uses a text-only interface for the WiFi. But, I've never needed the front desk to help. I sometimes have to ask when there's some gateway page that's not working right though.

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