a nasty SC who is BEGGING for a fight with me

[wheresmysanity]

First off, I have to say, that if it weren't for me finding this forum, they would have hauled me off to the loony bin by now. Thank you to the genius who created this haven!!! I have been trying to find advice for this one particular SC who has seriously poisoned my insides to pitch:

My mother and I run a retail business together. We have this one customer who has been coming in for years sproadically, but EVERY time he comes in, he is absolutely the most vile piece of garbage you can imagine.

He relishes in:

- insulting our staff (he made fun of one by accusing him of having a stuttering impediment)

- being incredibly rude (my mother once offered him advice on a product while he was debating a purchase with his friend, and he said, "I'm *not* talking to you. I'm talking to *her*. Shit, who said I was talking to you?"

- asking us to retrieve countless pieces of merchandise, ordering us around here and there, only to decide at the register that he no longer wants the items (this in particular happens all the time, and i'm convinced he does on purpose)

- and I think the one that turned me inside out was when he mentioned to his shopping buddy in a loud booming voice "That other place we shop at is *much* better than this place, don't you think?"

Before you think I am exaggerating...I am not. I think this man is completely nuts and sincerely trying to goad us into an argument with him. We haven't given in, yet. My mother and I have always tried to give him good CS, even when he's been nasty, and my mother is of the mindset to love your enemy. She always smiles at him, tries to make light of the situation. Meanwhile, I'm in the back, pulling my hair out. Please, somebody tell me what to do. I can only suspect that 1) this man is raging racist (we are of a different race than he is) or 2) he's a raging mysogynist. I say this because there is no REASONABLE reason that he is so nasty to us. We have never done anything to him. Anyway, he's poisoned my insides and I don't know how to handle it at this point. He seems to be coming in more frequently these days and I feel like I'm going to explode into a thousand pieces if I look at him one more time.



Thanks for any advice. It felt good just to type that all out, too...

[AFpheonix]

Sooo....let me get this straight. You and your mom are at least the managers of the outlet, if not the outright owners?

You realize you reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, yes? You CAN ban his stupid ass. And once you tell him to leave and he refuses to do so, you can call him out on trespassing and involve the cops in getting him removed.

Sometimes you can really get by without some people's business.

[Killer Bees]

If you and your mum are in charge, you can ban him from the store.

Toss his arse right out every time he comes in. You don't have to put up with shite from morons. Remember the old "we have the right to refuse service to anyone" spiel? Use it.

I think if shop keepers put the boot into sucky customers every time they were sucky, there would be more polite people in the world.

[CurlyLocks]

I third that. While I agree with the Biblical injunction to "love your enemy" I don't believe that it requires you to put up with this kind of abuse. I also believe that it's not fair to the staff to have to continue to tolerate this, when you have the power to ban him.

I wish you the best in resolving this nasty situation.

[XCashier]

You realize you reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, yes? You CAN ban his stupid ass. And once you tell him to leave and he refuses to do so, you can call him out on trespassing and involve the cops in getting him removed.

Sometimes you can really get by without some people's business.

No amount of customer money can make up for the stress these customers heap upon the employees. I agree with everyone else; kick the creep to the curb. There is no reason whatsoever for you to have to put up with this abuse. I certainly hope your mom can see it the same way. Good luck.

[Rapscallion]

First off, I have to say, that if it weren't for me finding this forum, they would have hauled me off to the loony bin by now. Thank you to the genius who created this haven!!!

That would be Mr Slugger - he started this place in ... was it the mid-nineties? I bought it after yet another hack about two christmasses ago. The reason I did that it to help preserve it for the things you cite above.

Rapscallion

[Mr. Rude]

And I thank Gord daily for you doing that Raps

I only wish we could bring back all those old posts

[Velfarre2001]

Like everyone else here is saying, exercise your right to refuse service. Do you know HOW many people I would have kicked to the curb if I ran the game store I used to work at? Yes, you are losing money, but you are also losing stress and nastiness.

Don't let him get to you? Love your enemy? Those philosophies can only go so far before you have to realize your limitations. Even if your mom can stand for it, can she stand YOU being so horribly stressed?

Maybe the reason he comes back is because you have not kicked his sorry ass out yet. Even if you smile and take it, that might just be goading him. Not throwing him out? Encouraging him to test your limits. And I don't know your mother, but one day he WILL find an explosive button. EVERYONE has them, everyone has their limit, no matter how serene or nice they are. toss him NOW Before it gets to that point.

Or you WILL come to regret it even more.

[chainedbarista]

*chants: BAN BAN BAN BAN*

wtf? he sounds like he gets a sick thrill out of what he does; time to tell him not so politely to take his 'business' anywhere else.

[Gurndigarn]

My mother and I have always tried to give him good CS, even when he's been nasty, and my mother is of the mindset to love your enemy.

That means you're polite to him as you kick him out of your store. But firm, nonetheless. And because you're hopefully wise, too, one of you heads to the phone while the other one of you works with him the next time he comes in.

Seriously, kicking him out could well be a loving act. He may get a clue that his actions annoy people, and change. Heaven knows, if people (other than family) had stood up to my brother when he was being an idiot, he might have changed before ending up in jail for a long time.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

No brainer here. Ban his ass. End of discussion. You have that right if he's being abusive to you and your staff since you two are in charge.

Frankly I'd be willing to wager that the loss of revenue that banning him would create, is negligible compared to the hassle you're putting up with.

Don't get violent, don't get abusive, just in a firm voice inform him that he is no longer welcome in your store and to please take his business elsewhere.

If he refuses then call the cops and let them deal with this waste of food and oxygen.

M

[wheresmysanity]

THANK YOU so much to everybody for the replies. please keep them coming. i am so out of my mind b/c of this man (damn him for spoiling my mental health) - that i'd love to get more objective takes on the situation.

i would like to add, however, that banning this man from our store is something i didn't consider only b/c most of the time, when he comes in, it's just me and mom - we're both 5'3" females and he is 6'3" and about 300 lbs. occasionally, we have another male employee but he's part-time, and not always here to back us up. i hate playing the gender card here, but honestly: given his size and level of hostility, i don't want to push any of his buttons. he just seems so nasty and unhinged. (i have seen, in the past, another man who was 6'5" and built like a linebacker, try to physically intimidate mom over a refused return - we called the cops on him). so that's where i'm coming from.

anyway, enough blathering. if anyone has anything else to add, please do!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I agree. You dont' have to be nasty or mean, but he needs to go. I understand wanting to be patient with the unlovely, but consider this: Your mom's campaign of tolerance is not helping him, you, or your other employees. In fact, it's probably escalating it.

And while the "love thy neighbor" thing is comendable, it does not call for anyone to dump their dignity into the trash. And what about her responsiblity for the people she has working for her? Don't they deserve to be protected?

I think your mother's charity is misguided and used on the wrong person. She's allowing you to be abused for what? A guy who comes in to show his ass? Not cool.

[air914]

You can *lovingly* toss his butt on the curb. Yes, Jesus said "Love your Enemies" and "Turn the other cheek".... but He also didn't put up w/ hypocrites or people abusing others - He called them on it..... the Pharisees, the people trying to stone the adulterous woman, the people selling in the Temple.... there is such thing as righteous anger....

that being said - I personally think you have every right to tell him that you do not appreciate his attitude and feel he would best be served by shopping elsewhere and that you are officially banning him from the store. If he comes again, you will be forced to call the police. And yeah tell him that you have the right to refuse service to anyone. It'll take some gumption and courage to do this, so it might be better if you do it instead of your mom - but there's no reason you should put up with his constant harassment....

And really, how much $$ are you losing without him as a customer? Your employees will be happier, you may get more customers who are happier b/c they don't have to listen to him and b/c you can focus more of your attention on them instead of running around the store trying to make him happy.

Good luck!

[digilight]

If you and your mother are the owners or have the the owners blessing then definantly ban his grumpy ass. The employee's will thank you for this. You will probably notice an increase in your bottom line because of it. Think of it this way. A manager who does not protect his employee's will see a higher turn over because of it. Why do you think that there are a lot of people on here who talk about mass quitings of coworkers, because management doesn't care about those that do the work.

I've been lucky myself. I've only had to "fire" 3 customers, 1 was for being a major bitch. Actually the secretary was a bitch. Once the attorney fired her I started doing work for him again and it was smooth sailing. The other client I refuse to do work were simply bad paying customers, 1 is kind of a psycopathic bitch who is in the same business but I did some contract work for her and got screwed, the other was an attorney that I had to threaten to sue.

All in all, i'd say i've gotten lucky considering the stories I've read on here from others.