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Seriously man, who throws a shoe?

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  • Seriously man, who throws a shoe?

    Hello, I am new to the forum, I currently work loss prevention for a major retailer.

    This story of a brilliant example of humanity comes from my experience at another retailer who I used to work the men's clothing department for. It was common practice for management to under staff the store so it was very common for me to have to zone three departments, stock them, do customer service and work the til.

    In this instance, I was working the men's department attempting to zone, and covering hard lines and shoes. We had a genius cashier, we'll call him A. A was from Afghanistan, extremely friendly and spoke 7 languages fluently.

    A flagged me down to the til from my department and pointed to a small woman with a boy entering my department and told me she needed help in shoes. I approached the woman and said, "Howdy, I am (J), and A at the register told me you may need help in shoes."
    "Can you show me clearance shoes?"
    I said, "Sure thing."
    I fear this was the woman's first introduction to the English language, all be it with a southern greeting, because she immediately dropped her head squinted her eyes and yelled, "What did you just say to me?!"
    I have a low voice and have been known to mumble, so I chalked it up to my speaking skills (though at this point I had been working on the radio as a DJ for 2 years.) So I repeated my affirmation in case she had thought I called her a thunder c$&!.
    We had reached the shoes department.
    "Ok, ma'am clearance shoes are normally looked in these two aisles here."

    She reeled back and bellowed at me, "LITTLE BOYS CLEARANCE."

    She had begun to tickle my backside, but I bit my lip and said, "I am sorry, little boys clearance is this aisle here"
    She responded by yelling, "Do you even work in this department?!"
    My calm broke and I snapped and said in a level tone smiling like a Cheshire Cat, "No ma'am I don't, and the attitude is not appreciated."
    Thunder C replied, "I want to talk to your manager."
    I said, "Sure thing."

    I fetched the assistant manager, D, and told her a customer wanted to see her about me and I didn't want to be anywhere near the lady.

    D left to see the customer and I zoned hard lines, fearing my smart off was going to get me canned.
    D walked up to me an hour later and said, "J your off the hook, she cussed me out and threw a boot at my head."

    Thanks for reading!

  • #2
    Quoth Yes I am watching you View Post
    D walked up to me an hour later and said, "J your off the hook, she cussed me out and threw a boot at my head."
    Maybe she thought he was Ed Gruberman?

    *Ducks all incoming Ti Kwan Leep attacks.*

    But yeah, at that point she pretty much committed assault.
    "Sigh, I'm going to Hell.....but I'm going with a smile on my face." -- Gravekeeper

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    • #3
      Confucius say, customer who throws shoe will get the boot.
      - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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      • #4
        Boot to the Head:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Npp4u5-8xz4
        "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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        • #5
          Throwing shoes is actually a dire insult in certain cultures.
          The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
          "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
          Hoc spatio locantur.

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          • #6
            Quoth Mike Taylor View Post
            Maybe she thought he was Ed Gruberman?

            *Ducks all incoming Ti Kwan Leep attacks.*

            But yeah, at that point she pretty much committed assault.
            The only use of Ti Kwan Leep is self-defense!

            You know who said that? Ki Lo Ni, the Great Teacher.
            PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

            There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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            • #7
              This scene came to mind when I saw the title.
              I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

              Who is John Galt?
              -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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              • #8
                Quoth Mike Taylor View Post
                Maybe she thought he was Ed Gruberman?
                Too bad Ed wasn't the manager that had to deal with her.
                "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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                • #9
                  Yeah, yeah, yeah, patience. How long is this gonna take?
                  When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                  • #10
                    Now all someone needs to do is make an iOS/Android game where you can be the salesman and have a "shoet-out" with customers.

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                    • #11
                      I'm just picturing the manager saying, "You too shall be honored to learn a lesson, novice."
                      "I often look at every second idiot and think, 'He needs more power.'" --Varric Tethras, Dragon Age II

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                      • #12
                        Quoth emax4 View Post
                        "shoet-out"
                        BOOOOOOOOOOO.

                        Your pun is bad and you should feel bad.
                        PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                        There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Aaaand the pun floodgates have been opened. Eeeeeeexcellent. Guess you put yer foot in it, emax-4-shoe
                          "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                          "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                          "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                          "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                          "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                          "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                          Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                          "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Yes I am watching you View Post
                            "...she cussed me out and threw a boot at my head."
                            Maybe she thought it was a HUSH Puppy.

                            Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                            (at eMax) BOOOOOOOOOOO. GROOOOOOOOAN

                            Your pun is bad and you should feel bad good.
                            FTFY.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Thanks! ^_^ I was picturing a scene from the Naked Gun where Leslie Neilsen and a thug are feet away from each other, shooting at each other. Only I imagined it with shoes.

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