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My dog is the worst guard dog

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  • My dog is the worst guard dog

    On our back porch, we have lots of back porch stuff: a table, a grill, bikes, a large bench that has flower pots (but hasn't had flowers for a couple years...yeah I've been lazy). So yesterday I woke up at the crack of noon, and I went out and everything on my back porch was gone and some random guy was sweeping there!

    Turns out, my landlord wanted to reseal the concrete on our patio and so they'd moved everything off to the side (my landlord is not good at giving advance notice of these sorts of things).

    I looked at my dog and cried "They moved everything! How did you not hear that and do something? Explain yourself!"

    The dog simply looked at me, yawned, and headed back to the bedroom to bury himself in the blankets.

    Nice to know my dog is useless at being a watchdog.
    Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

  • #2
    Whaddaya mean your dog is a useless watchdog? He watched everything on your porch getting moved.

    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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    • #3
      Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
      Whaddaya mean your dog is a useless watchdog? He watched everything on your porch getting moved.

      no it was worst than that, he heard something looked around and though hmmmm weird noise.... or warm blanket and human...... hmmmmmm well if someone trys to hurt the human i can attack but if i leave the blanket ill be cold.... im sure its nothing... zzzzZZZzzzZZZZZZzzzZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZ

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      • #4
        Just wow. Ours is kind of the other way around. She tells us about EVERY little noise she hears outside. I've about got her trained though that one or two barks is enough to warn us about anything but someone actively trying to break into the house (hasn't actually happened. Knock on wood, never will). I've also learned to tell the difference between 'I hear a strange noise outside' and 'I hear other dogs gossiping, I wanna gossip too!' And she's learned what 'go outside to bark' means. So happiness all around. She gets to gossip with neighborhood dogs without being yelled at, I get to live in a mostly quiet and peaceful house.
        You're only delaying the inevitable, you run at your own expense. The repo man gets paid to chase you. ~Argabarga

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        • #5
          Used to have a dog whose breed was bred for rounding up sheep . Totally lazy
          Neighbours's cat would wander around the house, go upstairs exploring.
          Dog would be snoring...
          "Where's the cat?"
          Head up, look around, see nothing, back to sleep.

          That cat stopped coming around after we had a kitten follow my parents home from a walk and adopt us, he was very protective, and also the neighbourhood bully. Other cats learnt to stay away from him pretty quickly.

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