Screw Jagger, I've Got Moves Like Ninja!

[Jester]

In the last few weeks, I've had not one, but two pretty nifty ninja-type moves. Naturally, no one was around to see them. Isn't that always the way?

Ninja Move 1: At my job, to get to the freezer, you have to walk through the walk-in cooler; there is no direct access to the freezer. So one day, I'm coming out of the freezer with some stuff in my left hand, and as the freezer door is closing, I hear from behind and above me the sound of plastic moving, and realize I've somehow managed to knock a bag of something off the top shelf. This all happens in a split second, and without thinking, with my free right hand I reach behind me underneath (rather than of my head, if that makes sense) and catch the bag of lettuce that had fallen....without ever having seen it. Damn nifty move, damn impressive.....and again, no one saw it. Technically, *I* didn't even see it, as it was behind my back!

Ninja Move 2: I was at home, reading my iPad. My glasses were on top of the iPad case, as I don't need them for reading. Forgetting that I had loaded my glasses there, I stood up with my iPad, and saw my glasses go airborne. You know how you see in the movies something go airborne in slow motion, and the hero reaches out for it and improbably grabs it? Well, usually in real life, we fail miserably at such unlikely grabs. In this case, I saw my glasses, which would not be cheap to replace, suspended in the air over a hare floor, and reached out and ever so gently caught them in my hand, saving them and my wallet from much damage. At least I saw this one!

So, any of you have any ninja-style moves you've done lately, where even you thought, "DAMN, that was impressive!"?

[Crossbow]

Not recently, but I did have one when I was in school. I was talking to my friend while we rode the bus to school, and I wasn't paying any attention to anything else going on. One of the routine jock bullies several seats back thought it would be funny to throw a tennis ball at my head. Keep in mind, I was looking at my friend in the seat next to me, not backwards.

Apparently I caught just a glimpse of the throw out of the corner of my eye and without even realizing I hd done it, the ball smacked into the palm of my hand, about two inches before it hit my temple. I turned slowly, gave him my best glare (and I can glare with the best of them), and kept the ball.

It was quite a while before he and his buddies gave me any grief again.




If I tried that now, I'd end up with a dent in my temple and probably a broken finger for the attempt.

[deadbody]

This was a long time ago. I was snowboarding for the first (and only time) I had already fallen like a dozen times trying to get down the hill (snowboarding is hard). I was finally going a bit and saw a couple cute girls on the ski lift. I waved at them, and started to fall forward. I managed to perfectly fall onto my arms, into a sommersault, and back up to my feet like I totally meant to do that. The girls cheered, and I smiled, until I fell again about 10 feet later, but for 10 feet of ski hill I was a god among men.

[Kanalah]

I work in my church nursery, taking care of the littles.

One Sunday we had a baby that if you set him down, he would scream and wail. I had to change him, so I'm carrying him in one arm and his wet diaper (rolled up and sealed) in the other. The step to open thing on the trash can is broken, so I balanced on one foot, used my other foot to catch the lid of the trash can and open it so I could toss the diaper in.

Kid slept through the whole thing.

[EricKei]

The closest I ever seem to come to this sort of thing is the fact that I seem to have an uncanny ability to sneak up on people, totally unnoticed - but only if I am NOT trying to do so. Did it at GameStore all the time when I worked there. Keep in mind that I have never, in my life, been accused of being "petite" ~ As my friend S____ puts it, I tend to "loom."

Naturally, no one was around to see them.

Well, if someone DID see the moves in question, ya wouldn't be much of a ninja, now would you?

[Tama]

I too have been accused of being a ninja. I seem to sneak up on people -- but like you, I can only do it when I'm not trying to.

It always surprises me.

[Lady Legira]

I've been threatened with having a bell put on me for sneaking up on people so many times. I think I must be part cat

[Jay 2K Winger]

I too am notoriously light on my feet for a guy my size and weight. I joke that I'm part-ninja.

[Mytical]

Not only could I do the 'ninja' bit of sneaking up behind somebody (at one time I was 6'0 305lbs).. but I did shock somebody once.

We were sitting on the opposite sides of a desk. I was working for security and he was the 'captain', we were just changing shifts. He went to hand me the checklist of what to do.. and bumped into a radio he brought with him. Now this was a teacher desk like desk. Big, but not tall. Before the radio hit the floor, I had grabbed it's handle. I just calmly put it back on the desk. He was . "How the heck did you do that? I've never seen anybody move that fast!"

[bhskittykatt]

At work, I had several vases of flowers to deliver to VIP rooms while the guests were at a dinner meeting. I had them balanced on a tray and was going from room to room, making my deliveries.

I had one left. Our doors are heavy and typically require a free arm to open, and I was trying to open the door and maneuver out into the hall when the tray I was carrying tilted and the vase started falling off it. It tilted to about 80-85 degrees, and the water was just about to spill out (not to mention the glass vase falling and shattering on a guest room floor), and I totally caught it perfectly! I somehow managed to let go of the door and swing my free arm around while maneuvering the tray out of the way just perfectly to catch it right in time.

Most of the time, I'm a total klutz, so I was pretty proud about this one.

[NecessaryCatharsis]

Other than my unfailing ability to hammer bees out of midair, which always shocks everyone but me, I'm more drunken Labrador pup than ninja. Except once:

I was lying on a roof, leaning over the edge from the belt up, nailing in a eaves. I had extra nails in my mouth, nail in one hand, hammer in the other. As I swung I dropped the nail, open my mouth to say'oh shot' spit out a nail, which I hit, as it was falling, with my swinging hammer. And drove in perfectly. I meant to do that, really. .

[sms001]

Right up your alley, Jester:

Most of us have seen people let a (usually condensation slick) long neck slide out of their hands.

I've caught two.

The first was just sheer luck, but once you know something CAN be done, you usually are more likely to try again. Second go round was awesome, as I played it up. Chatting standing at the bar with a couple of friends. I see the bottle slide down, snag it from mid-air, then turn to the bar and grab a bevnap and wrap it before handing it back to my jaw-dropped friend.

[Kittish]

I do the unintentional sneaking up thing too. I think I must have some sort of ninja vibe going on, I can walk right up to someone, from the front, with them even looking in my general direction and they STILL don't see me at all until I'm right in front of them and say something. Cue screams and starts and throwing whatever they happen to be carrying at me (not really throwing but that funny looking thing people do when their arms jerk in surprise and they happen to be carrying something). Sometimes I manage to catch whatever they just dropped before it hits the ground. This has resulted in me making sure I make plenty of noise when I'm around certain of my friends (namely, the ones that carry firearms at all times. ) For the record, I too am not a small person, though I don't have the verticality for proper looming.

One of my cats pulled off a cool ninja move a while back. Fresh pan of rice crispy treats on the counter, cooling. Cat jumps up to the counter (it's one he's allowed on, I fully admit my bad for putting the treats pan there), realizes as his paws clear the edge that there's no place to land except for not quite an INCH along the edge of the counter. Somehow he checked himself and planted all four paws in that tiny space and balanced there, checked out the pan, then hopped back down.

[Jester]

Your stories reminded me of a couple more from my life, though not as recent as the ones in the OP:

Incident 1: Years ago, while working at a resort in Phoenix, we had a party at an outside location on property. Said location had a few small boulders (just a foot or two high) here and there as part of the landscaping, and some of the tables were rather close to these things. Well, I had a full tray of drinks and was going around one of those tables, and didn't see one of the boulders, and didn't even realized I was near it until my lower leg hit it, and I lurched forward. I immediately put on the brakes, stopping my entire body, including the tray, which traveled forward a bit before I got control of it. But not only did none of the drinks fall, not one spilled a drop. The guests that witnessed this act of ninjatasticness were suitably impressed.

Incident 2: My first restaurant job. I was 16. Part of the training made it very clear that if ever you dropped a knife or a glass, for safety reasons we should just let it fall and not try to catch it. Wise advice which I always adhered to....until one day.....

So I was about to get a soda for a customer, and the soda glass suddenly slipped out of my hand and dropped to the floor. Before I could even think, it hit the hard floor....and bounced right back up! And without thinking, I reached out and grabbed the glass with my hand. No broken glass, no nothing....just the average act of catching a glass that has just bounced off of a hard floor.

Well, if someone DID see the moves in question, ya wouldn't be much of a ninja, now would you?

Nah. Ninja-ness is not just about being sneaky, it's about stupidly amazing moves, which are awesome if someone sees them...like the poster who told about catching a ball thrown at his head seemingly blind. Shit like that is awesome.

Now, as for the ninjability of some of our members to sneak up on people silently, I do not have that. And I am NOT a big guy at all. I'm just a noisy person, I guess.

However, a former restaurant manager of mine did have that ability, and not just when he wasn't trying to. You'd be goofing off, or saying something bad, or not doing your job, and you'd turn around, and he'd just be standing there. Usually with a raised eyebrow and an evil grin in on his face, as if to say, "Really? Shouldn't you be working right now?" And you'd never hear him coming or realized that he had just appeared there.

One of my cats pulled off a cool ninja move a while back.

To be fair, cats are fairly ninja-like in general. Hell, they may actually BE part ninja.

[mathnerd]

suspended in the air over a hare floor

When did you cover your floors with rabbits?