This is a Sham of a Farce of a Mockery of a Tow!

[Argabarga]

Yet another poor soul was so desperate for their caffeine fix, they decided to heck with paying parking meters or getting a permit, Imma' jus' gon' park right here because it's the closest I can get to the Starbucks without actually driving through the front doors and pulling up along the counter inside to within arms-reach of the barrista.

Well, to nobody's surprise, but his, that got my attention, since there's nowhere on the sign he parked in front of that says anything about that particular parking lot being "Permit Only EXCEPT for those jonesin' for a double mocha" Well, I think those of you in the audience know where THIS story is going, and it ain't Anaheim, Azusa, or Kookamonga.

Yep, out comes Mr Java....

"Hey! Hey! what the hell!?"

"You can't park here without a permit, private lot"

"I was just getting a coffee, it was like ONE MINUTE"

"Takes longer than that for me to hook up, so no, it wasn't"

"Why are you wagging your head at me!?"

"Excuse me?"

"You're bobbing your head at me when you talk! I don't appreciate being MOCKED!"

"Huh?"

"You are MOCKING me and it's RUDE! Hasn't anyone ever told you not to make fun of people?!"

"Honestly, I had no idea I was doing it, if I was, I guess that's just the way I am."

I got the Glare-of-Death (tm) for the rest of the encounter, but he at least paid at that point and went off to pester someone else.

I think I can declare two things for certain in the wake of this encounter.

One, that was the most original insult this year, I've never been accused of being a mocker before, and I always appreciate those who spice it up a little, you can only hear "asshole" so many times before you get as desensitized to it in both word and image as a guy working the prep line in a poultry plant somewhere between the "pluck" and "skin" stages...

Two, I can only imagine how he might feel when "Free bobble-head night" rolls around at the ballpark.

Well, that was fun! Now I'm off to see if I can cajole the public into coming up with more creatively derisive terms for me, $5 says I can get at least someone to call be a "Bolshevik" this year!

[Jester]

Well, I think those of you in the audience know where THIS story is going, and it ain't Anaheim, Azusa, or Kookamonga.

You forgot Arizona, Atlanta, Atlantic City, Alaska, Arkansas, Alabama, Aruba, Antigua, the Antilles, Anguilla, Argentina, Angola, Antwerp, Austria, Australia, Arcadia, Austin, Annapolis, Arvada, Albany, Augusta, Apache Junction (gratuitous Arizona reference), Ajo (another gratuitous Arizona reference), Ahwatukee (you guessed it....yet another gratuitous AZ reference), and Ann Arbor, not to mention Kentucky, Kansas, Kalamazoo, Kingston, Kingman (AZ, of course), Kemah (for you texans), Kuala Lumpur, Kauai, Knoxville, Kent, Kyoto, and Kyushu.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

You forgot Arizona, Atlanta, Atlantic City, Alaska, Arkansas, Alabama, Aruba, Antigua, the Antilles, Anguilla, Argentina, Angola, Antwerp, Austria, Australia, Arcadia, Austin, Annapolis, Arvada, Albany, Augusta, Apache Junction (gratuitous Arizona reference), Ajo (another gratuitous Arizona reference), Ahwatukee (you guessed it....yet another gratuitous AZ reference), and Ann Arbor, not to mention Kentucky, Kansas, Kalamazoo, Kingston, Kingman (AZ, of course), Kemah (for you texans), Kuala Lumpur, Kauai, Knoxville, Kent, Kyoto, and Kyushu.

I been everywhere man, I been everywhere man...

On another note, the whole head bopping thing had me immediately picturing you doing the Roxbury guys head thing while you were hooking up the car.

[Dark Psion]

You're going to have to change your screen name now, but I found you a new avatar image.

"You're bobbing your head at me when you talk! I don't appreciate being MOCKED!"

"Huh?"

"You are MOCKING me and it's RUDE! Hasn't anyone ever told you not to make fun of people?!"

[Ironclad Alibi]

Well, someone had to post this one: I've Been Everywhere.

[Ophbalance]

I just got done watching a slew of Parking Wars... and it never ceases to amaze me that people continually justify their actions with "I only been there a minute!". Or, those that piss and moan over the signs that state "No Standing". "It's no standing, not no parking!". And when pointed out this would have been on the drivers exam, "that don't matter!". Where the hell are these folks learning this? It's either their parents or their peers as the excuses never seem to vary at ALL. One of my all time favorite quotes from the show is "I ain't never given a ticket that someone didn't earn".

[Jester]

Almost all tickets, parking or traffic, are earned. (I grant that there are always exceptions.) It's along the same line that management doesn't fire as many people as fire themselves. For example, I've been fired four times in my life. Once from a restaurant job, for being repeatedly late, which I had been warned about, and three times from newspaper routes as a teenager, for being the worst paper boy ever. I earned every one of those pink slips, just as I've earned all but one of my traffic and parking tickets.

The one exception: I got a speeding ticket in Mesa, AZ, even though I wasn't speeding. I had a quick car at the time (Dodge Shadow Turbo), and when the light turned green, I got out in front of the rest of the traffic rather quickly....and got pulled over. Cop said I was speeding. I pointed out that I had never exceeded the speed limit. His reasoning was that I was so far ahead of the rest of the traffic, I had to be speeding. I countered with the fact that I had accelerated faster than the rest of the traffic, but had never actually sped, and it was not illegal to accelerate quickly. (The ticket was for speeding, mind you, not reckless driving, which some would argue quick acceleration could fall under.) Neither the cop nor the judge would listen to my superior reasoning on this one, and the ticket stuck. But Mesa cops are known for being dicks, and it was in my early 20s at the time and far dumber than I am now, so I may not have fought it as hard as I should have. Still say it was a bullshit ticket, though.

[mikoyan29]

Don't forget putting the flashers on.

[XCashier]

But Mesa cops are known for being dicks,

As a former Zonie, I can confirm this. Phoenix cops are great, but Mesa cops are dicks. I was pulled over for going 55 on the freeway. Yes, you read that right. For doing the speed limit. The cop kept coming up with BS reasons, saying I was constantly changing lanes (I made one lane change and used my signal!) and looked sleepy (it was 10:00 at night, of course I'm not bright-eyed and bushy-tailed!) He finally let me go without a ticket after giving me the third degree. But yeah, Mesa cops do tend towards dickishness.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Don't forget putting the flashers on.

An act that St. Arga of Barga has told us, repeatedly, equates to "Hey, pay attention to me!" ...and thus just guarantees that the tow-truck guys will look to see what you're doing that's wrong.

[EricKei]

Needless to say, quite a few people end up disputing these tickets...yet every year this happens.

I think you just found the explanation -- "quite a few" people dispute them; not ALL of them. Hence, the city makes money off of those who do not bother, and the meter guy gets to look like he's doing his job (tho I would imagine that having so many disputed would raise some red flags...)

[darkroxas45]

Well, that was fun! Now I'm off to see if I can cajole the public into coming up with more creatively derisive terms for me, $5 says I can get at least someone to call be a "Bolshevik" this year!

(The following comment is in no way mean and only to help win a bet)
You are a bolshevik Now go collect $5 from everyone who took the bet *offers hug and cookies for calling Argabarga a bolshevik*

[Jester]

As a former Zonie, I can confirm this. Phoenix cops are great, but Mesa cops are dicks.

But yeah, Mesa cops do tend towards dickishness.

Just so everyone knows, this is a generalization, and I am not saying (nor do I believe XCashier is saying) that all Mesa cops are dicks. Just that their department has a general reputation around the Phoenix metro area of being assholes. I'm sure there are good guys in the Mesa PD, just as there are assholes on other forces that may enjoy a better reputation than Mesa.

When I lived there, the only other police department that had a reputation approaching Mesa's was the University PD at Arizona State. But their rep was more for bumbling incompetence or cluelessness, with just a bit of dickishness thrown in.

[Captain Trips]

Example of unearned tickets. Where my wife used to work, it too was permit-needed-on-street. She didn't live there, but parked on the street all the time. Of course, you'd say, she would get ticketted. But the cops never noticed her handicap placard. They didn't stop until she got plates. It's kind of hard to write such a ticket when the license number they write down starts with "DP".

[Sliceanddice]

As a former Zonie, I can confirm this. Phoenix cops are great, but Mesa cops are dicks.

hmmmm im not going to say mesa cops cant be jerks, cause they can but ive never meet a phoenix cop who didn't look at me like i was a criminal just waiting for him to turn around to enact my evil master plan.

Please note: I am a 5'3" eye glass wearing nerdtastic over weight girl who has only ever shoplifted as a child who wears a ton of pink and silly t shirts believes in wear things that are going to make her look adorable instead of hot sexy or what ever and wear penguin socks.

unless they believe i can build Dr.Horribles StunDeath ray with the contents of my pockets they have very little to worry about with me.