How about being thankful we're open so late?

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Late Night Express

I get a call come in at 10:33 PM, one of my last of the night...

Me: Thank you for calling <red checkmark>, how may I help you?
SC: Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting?
Me: I don't have a timer in front of me, but I apologize nonetheless--
SC: It's ridiculous, I had to wait eight minutes before speaking to you. You think I just want to sit all night on the phone?
Me: I will do my best to take care of you as quickly as possible.
SC: That's ridiculous, I really do expect better service you know.
(Right, it's almost 11 pm, god forbid some of us would actually want to be at home with our families at a time like this!)
Me: We try to keep the call volumes low, but do bear in mind some of our departments are closed already so the calls they would otherwise take come to us.
SC: Why are they closed?
Me: Some departments have different hours than others, it's the nature of the business.
SC: That's very inconvenient, you should all be there 24/7!
(Oh please Mr. Customer, let me chain myself to my desk and spend my entire life here so I can be available whenever you need me!)

The rest of the call went on as normal, but of course despite the fact he was so mad about having to wait, he was willing to prattle my ear off complaining for five minutes before actually letting me fix his problem and get him off the line.


Let me grab my whip for you...

Ok, let's recap the situation:

- You aren't getting good service on your phones
- We quickly establish the reason for that is a tower outage in your area
- An outage that my company is already aware of, working on AND plans to have fixed within 36 hours
- You say you can't wait that long because you need your phones
- You say you can't wait that long because you have family with medical needs that MUST be able to contact you.
- You say you can't wait that long because your cell phones are your ONLY phones
- You say you can't wait that long because by golly you're paying us "Big money" and you expect something in return for it.
- In response to all of these things I tell you that we are aware of the problem and are working on correcting it but I have no way to make the network guys work faster. I mean, do you expect me to drive on out there and browbeat them personally?
- You say that is unacceptable.
- I repeat my previous statement
- You repeat again how important these phones are to you
- I repeat my previous statement
- You then ask for my manager

I put my manager on the line with you and...one guess what you get told?

But I've been with you forever!

I get some variation of this all...the...time. People will go there for everything, expecting me to give them the moon because they've been with us a "long time". I had a guy the other day whose wife had broke her phone three months after getting it and he wanted us to send her a brand new one free of charge because he'd been such a good customer.

Sure buddy, it's our fault your wife dropped the phone and our fault you didn't sign up for insurance when you had the chance, let me get right on that free phone for you

And on a related note, let me clear up a few things:

- Eight months is not "Forever"
- One year is not "Forever"
- Three years is not "Forever"

There are a few, FEW very particular circumstances where tenure comes into play but unless you've got at LEAST five years with us don't even think of going there.
I don't know if those idiots who give advice on "how to get what you want from CSRs" tell customers to do this all the time or what but it gets really REALLY old.

One bad Apple...

Ok, we've identified an issue with your iphone and you're still under warranty. Oh what's that? You don't like Apple? I'm sorry to hear that. You had a bad experience with their customer service? Again my apologies. You'd rather I just do the warranty claim for you? Sorry, no can do. Apple handles their warranties in house. Again you tell me how much you don't like Apple. Again I explain to you they are the only ones who can get this done for you.

Then you get angry, cuss me out and demand I replace your phone for you. I then tell you for what must be the 85th time that my system will NOT let me do that because we don't handle Apple warranties.

You then tell me where I can shove the iphone and hang up.

[xxscooterxx]

I have been with red checkmark for over 5 years, I do pay a lot for my service, and I do get irritated if I have to wait a long time. Is any of that your fault? Nope. So I suck it up and act accordingly. I don't understand for the life of me why people expect some poor customer service representative to listen to abuse.

[mathnerd]

There are a few, FEW very particular circumstances where tenure comes into play but unless you've got at LEAST five years with us don't even think of going there.
I don't know if those idiots who give advice on "how to get what you want from CSRs" tell customers to do this all the time or what but it gets really REALLY old.

One of my relatives falls under this category legitimately. He's had an account with his wireless provider since 1985. The company was founded (or became a subsidiary of its parent company) in 1984. A 29 year old account with a 30 year old company means that you generally get what you want. Thankfully, that relative, while not very nice in general, isn't usually an SC and has only pulled the "I've been a customer forever" line once that I know of, and it was a legitimate complaint.

[AnqeiicDemise]

That reminds me of the cantankerous old fart I had today who whined for ten minutes about our slow answering of the phones, then went on to go through a rinse, lather, repeat x times about being unable to order ppv. I was so annoyed I forgot to send an email to the supes to make sure mr. Whiner want charged for the smut he couldn't watch.

I point blank asked him what he wanted me to do since he wouldn't trouble shoot our let a tech go out to his house. No. I won't give you money if you refuse to let us fix your problem no matter how much you whine about cancelling.

[Evannah]

"you should all be there 24/7!"

WTF??? For serious? Jeez, it would seem that some people really DO believe we're cyborgs with no families and no life. If someone came up to me and told me that I should be stuck to the till forever (because that's basically what 24/7 is right? FOREVER!) then I'd be phoning a bloody psychiatrist for them right there on the spot. Because man, that kind of thinking is NOT right.

[otakuneko]

One bad Apple....

Then why the hell did you get an iphone?!

Let me grab my whip for you...

Then why are you so reliant on a single point of failure?. Get a pager (far more reliable than cells, ask doctors) or secondary phone from a second provider.

Late Night Express

Sure. I understand. We live in a 24/7 world. I hated dealing with SolVita Financial because they closed so early.

So....how much extra are you willing to pay so we can staff our callcenters 24/7, or would you like us to ship it off to India?

[Sapphire Silk]

Ok, we've identified an issue with your iphone and you're still under warranty. Oh what's that? You don't like Apple? I'm sorry to hear that. You had a bad experience with their customer service? Again my apologies. You'd rather I just do the warranty claim for you? Sorry, no can do. Apple handles their warranties in house. Again you tell me how much you don't like Apple. Again I explain to you they are the only ones who can get this done for you.

Wow. You have to be a real dick to have a bad CSR experience with Apple. I've never had an Apple CSR be anything but sweetness and light, even when I was acting stark raving mad (I'll confess, I went a bit apeshit on an Apple CSR once because I was so frustrated. I apologized profusely immediately).

[Dave1982]

Apple is legendary for their GOOD customer service. Now, obviously they aren't perfect, but the fact that CC2 posted about this customer here, I'm betting it's not "SC had a bad experience with apple customer service" and more "apple CS had a bad experience with the SC."

At that, about the only two reasons Apple wouldn't have automatically replaced the phone would be water damage or damage from obvious abuse/neglect.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Wow. You have to be a real dick to have a bad CSR experience with Apple. I've never had an Apple CSR be anything but sweetness and light, even when I was acting stark raving mad (I'll confess, I went a bit apeshit on an Apple CSR once because I was so frustrated. I apologized profusely immediately).

My only thought about why the "Bad apple" guy went with an iphone is that a sales rep at the store managed to talk him into it. It could also be the bad experiences he had with them happened AFTER he got the phone.

[XCashier]

of course despite the fact he was so mad about having to wait, he was willing to prattle my ear off complaining for five minutes before actually letting me fix his problem and get him off the line.

Naturally.

Jeez, it would seem that some people really DO believe we're cyborgs with no families and no life.

I honestly think that most customers believe just that. They don't see us as fellow human beings, just cogs in a machine. It's sad, and sick.

That reminds me of the cantankerous old fart I had today who whined for ten minutes about our slow answering of the phones,

"I would've answered sooner, but the last five callers each spent ten minutes complaining about our slow answering times before they told us about the problem."

Somehow, I don't think the caller would appreciate that.

[EricKei]

You then tell me where I can shove the iphone and hang up.

If it's where I'm thinking, it might be a tad difficult to hang it up once it's in there...

That reminds me of the cantankerous old fart I had today who whined for ten minutes about our slow answering of the phones

So...he was wasting all sorts of time on the phone about how long it takes for you to pick up, preventing you from taking calls quite as soon, then?

[icmedia]

Even when my customers have been with us for 10+ years, the "I've been a **** Cellular customer for 14 years!" argument doesn't preclude you from:

-Having to pay your bill in a timely manner. This is a business, not a charity.
-Having to sign a contract to get a FREE upgrade. Your "I've never signed a contract!" statement is easily disprovable by the account notes showing your 7 consecutive contract start and end dates.
-Having to pay the insurance deductible when you drop your phone in the toilet. If you wouldn't expect Allstate or Blue Cross to waive your deductible, why do you expect **** Cellular to?
-Having to get a different model of phone when you upgrade. Believe me, if we still sold the Motorola Razr, I'd sell a metric fuckton of them. However, they haven't manufactured that in years, so please just take your much newer, much more advanced phone and go.

[AccountingDrone]

Hm, been with red checkmark since 1995, had the unlimited internet on a smartphone since my first Treo back in 2003 [still grandfathered in as we haven't actually used the upgrade per contract deal, we kept buying my stuff outright as we had the money for 500-600 a pop every 3 years or so because we saved up for it ..] and have paid regularly on time in a really boring nonconfrontational manner the entire time and Rob used to be telephone CS for red checkmark, his first job after he retired from the Navy in 2003 ...]

[wagegoth]

My guess is the SC's complaint with Apple was that depending on what was broken, the cost could be very high.

My son broke the screen of his iPhone just a couple of months after getting it. I called the striped globe (I've been a customer for over ten years) and they referred me to Apple. Apple said to send it in and it would cost $200. Now, I'd gotten the phone for $99 as part of a promotion, and I was plenty pissed at the thought of spending $200 because of my son's negligence. The CSR suggested that if I were near an Apple store, that I take the phone to the store, and they would probably replace the screen for $100. I work just a block from an Apple store, so I took the phone in one day. They replaced the screen for free.

When I got home that night, I gave the phone to my son and informed him that the next time it broke, he was paying for it. He hasn't dropped a phone since.

[Argus]

If it's where I'm thinking, it might be a tad difficult to hang it up once it's in there...

But not impossible?