Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Denial is a river....

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Denial is a river....

    Just had a parent today claim the usual that her son is an angel.

    Oh hell no. To summarise:

    -He grabbed another child around the neck and pulled him back because he was "cutting in line." Yet the other 4 children in the group all claim otherwise and there's no prior connection between ANY of the other children (as in, he was the oldest in the group)

    -He will complain to me (and only to me I've noticed) that this child or that child is annoying him or doing something to him that is absolutely trivial. But the other kicker is that he refuses to rectify the situation himself (most kids his age will attempt to solve the situation on their own and even a number of YOUNGER kids do the same).

    -He's a hypocrite. He'll complain about a particular behaviour, then he'll turn around and do said behaviour to ANOTHER child. I don't know if it's because I don't look like I'm taking the situation seriously or if he's being manipulative. Conversations with my two bossladies are leaning towards the latter because he's pulled the same crap on them.

    -He also refuses to listen to me when I give him an instruction. It takes 3+ tries to get anything out of him. Bosslady #1 came down like a sack of bricks on him for it.

    When he does listen, it's with one of three goals: to get his own way, to get a reward or "revenge."

    His mother isn't helping it. In her eyes, he can do no wrong and he shares the same attitude. Thank god we only have 14 more weeks of dealing with him and then he's outta here. (2 weeks left of this term, 2 weeks of holidays, 10 weeks of the fourth term)

    In comparison, the other parents who have kids with behavioural issues are actually doing something about it. One of the kids is on the spectrum and we're debating whether or not to explain to the other kids about it fully. (I actually did sit this particular child down today to explain to him that Child On The Spectrum does not always do things with the goal of annoying him) The other child with behavioural issues is one I've mentioned before (suspected abuse)-in this case, the kid is actually getting help (and it's not abuse either)

    Just the parent...ye gods. I had her pegged as a GOOD mother, but this is just....ugh.
    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

    Now queen of USSR-Land...

  • #2
    I think I know the grown up version of that kid that on one ever corrected and sorted out. In her 60's now and just as bad and whiny....
    I am so SO glad I was not present for this. There would have been an unpleasant duct tape incident. - Joi

    Comment


    • #3
      When he does listen, it's with one of three goals: to get his own way, to get a reward or "revenge."
      And now the "sociopath" alarm is ringing in my head. I hope that's a learned behaviour, rather than an innate one.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Chromatix View Post
        And now the "sociopath" alarm is ringing in my head. I hope that's a learned behaviour, rather than an innate one.
        To clarify, the revenge idea is more "oh this person did it to me so I'm going to do it back to them." That one I CAN put down to a slightly learned behaviour as a common refrain from both my bosses is "would you like it if it's done to you?" (I avoid that one unless absolutely necessary)

        This morning he did a little bit better, although I had the "no=rude" line from him a few times. We've decided that the goal for him is to learn to problem solve when another child DOES do something that annoys him. Because our "suspected abuse" (we're all leaning towards ADHD now) child has a tendency to flare up even further when told to stop, we're also working on ignoring our suspected ADHD child.

        That said, when we do pull him aside and talk to him, we do it while the other kids are distracted.
        The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

        Now queen of USSR-Land...

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth fireheart View Post
          -He's a hypocrite. He'll complain about a particular behaviour, then he'll turn around and do said behaviour to ANOTHER child. I don't know if it's because I don't look like I'm taking the situation seriously or if he's being manipulative. Conversations with my two bossladies are leaning towards the latter because he's pulled the same crap on them.
          He's possibly trying to prove you to be a hypocrite, be getting punished for something you won't punish someone else for. "You let X do it when I told, why can't i do it?"

          Horrid little turd.
          This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
          I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
            He's possibly trying to prove you to be a hypocrite, be getting punished for something you won't punish someone else for. "You let X do it when I told, why can't i do it?"

            Horrid little turd.
            His idea of punishment is to put said child into Time Out or remove him from the equation. Sorry, but I'm not his lackey and I'm not doing his dirty work for him.

            He also complains when things seem "unfair". Sorry, but that's how life works. The kid gets freaking mollycoddled almost because he's one of two with multiple food allergies. (the other kid we have does have some issues, but seems to be fairly less troublesome)
            The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

            Now queen of USSR-Land...

            Comment


            • #7
              When then kid gets older (not "when he grows up") he's going to find the world doesn't revolve around him and he can't always get what he wants. And that's too bad so sad. Another SC/EW to annoy the world...

              Why does this sound like a broken record?

              Comment


              • #8
                Food allergies are not an excuse to spoil your kid.

                You avoid the foods, and everything else goes on normal.
                They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth eltf177 View Post
                  When If the kid gets older (not "when he grows up")....
                  Corrected for your convenience. We're assuming he manages to survive when his targets start to push back.
                  Quoth eltf177 View Post
                  Why does this sound like a broken record?
                  Probably because this is not the first or last time we see this kind of nonsense.
                  I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                  Who is John Galt?
                  -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Sapphire Silk View Post
                    Food allergies are not an excuse to spoil your kid.

                    You avoid the foods, and everything else goes on normal.
                    I agree. This is why I don't do anything special to him.

                    Re the mollycoddling, he currently gets his own food at after-school care. Why? Because someone at daycare when he was younger screwed up royally and accidentally gave him milk, almost killing him. His parents bring this in though. We've since gone dairy and gluten-free to accommodate OTHER kids as well as him.
                    Last edited by fireheart; 09-04-2014, 03:54 AM.
                    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                    Now queen of USSR-Land...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      now the sociopathic alarm is ringing in my head. Why?

                      Today I had the same kid tell me that he would "knife me" casually and nonchalantly. He also suggested putting dynamite and pins in the piƱata were making because "it would hurt others". Both were said quite casually as though it was funny. I was disturbed.

                      (I didn't let him get away with the knife comment by the way, he was punished)
                      The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                      Now queen of USSR-Land...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Wow! How old is the kid? That would worry me as well! Child and mother both need help ASAP!
                        No trees were killed in the posting of this message.

                        However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth BeeMused View Post
                          Wow! How old is the kid? That would worry me as well! Child and mother both need help ASAP!
                          The kid is 7/8 years old (he's grade 2).

                          While I have a feeling that I won't be able to do anything at this stage (it'll fall on deaf ears) beyond monitoring, I plan on sending through an anonymous letter to the school he ends up at next year (the school only covers k-2). My bosses are both aware of the comments.

                          Were all of the opinion that he is a bully, but I've noticed that he lacks empathy in particular.
                          The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                          Now queen of USSR-Land...

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth fireheart View Post

                            Were all of the opinion that he is a bully, but I've noticed that he lacks empathy in particular.
                            This raises a red flag in itself . . . and needs to be mentioned in the letter you send in to the school.

                            In the US (at least) we have a system where one can contact children and family services (department name may vary depending on location) anonymously anything that may indicate possible abuse/neglect/or possible issues that could pose a threat to the child and/or family members.

                            Would your location have similar?
                            Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth DGoddessChardonnay View Post
                              This raises a red flag in itself . . . and needs to be mentioned in the letter you send in to the school.

                              In the US (at least) we have a system where one can contact children and family services (department name may vary depending on location) anonymously anything that may indicate possible abuse/neglect/or possible issues that could pose a threat to the child and/or family members.

                              Would your location have similar?
                              We do, but it's really only for abuse. I don't believe he's getting abused at this stage.
                              The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                              Now queen of USSR-Land...

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X