Now, I Steal Canes From Old People

[SixFortyK]

Every market I've ever worked at had a collection of canes in its lost and found collection. Unfortunately, the elderly have a tendency to hang their canes on the edge of the shopping carts or on the edge of the checkout counter. They leave without it, and by the time we notice the cane hanging there, they are long gone. So off to the lost and found closet it goes.

The clientele at the market I work at now is generally older. We currently have about 15 canes in the lost and found collection. So this older guy (OG) approaches me about his missing cane.

OG: Excuse me. I hope you can help me. I lost my cane yesterday, and I'm pretty sure I left it here at this store.
Me: Sure, I can help you. I'll take you over to where we keep lost items. Can you describe it? Anything unusual about it?
OG: Not really, just a regular wood cane.
Me: Ok. We keep them in this locker here. (I open it for him.) Do you see yours in here?
OG: What the hell? Why do you guys have so many friggin canes? Don't you give them back to people? These aren't yours to keep!! What the heck!
Me: I'm sorry sir. People leave them behind all the time, and unfortunately, they just don't come back to pick them up. And if there is no contact info on it, there's nothing we can do except hold it.
OG: But they need these!! They don't belong to you. What are you guys trying to do here?
Me: Um.....sir....do you see your cane in here?
OG: Yeah. It's that one on the end. (He reaches in and takes it.) I'm not going to let you get away with STEALING MINE!!!

I really didn't know how to respond to that, so I said nothing as he turned and left. He seemed like a very unpleasant fellow, so I was happy to see him go.

[Sheldonrs]

His name wasn't by any chance Queeg, was it?

(literary reference) :-)

[Sapphire Silk]

What an ignorant crank.

People are forgetful. It happens. It happens a LOT. I see people do it all the time. You know, you bring your cane you feel better than you thought, and leave it behind before you realize what you've done.

[thehuckster]

What was that guy expecting you to do? Use homing pigeons to fly the canes to their owners?

Chances are those other canes will never be claimed because they probably gave up on looking for it and decided to just buy a new one. Canes are like umbrellas, they're easy to forget but are easily replaceable.

[Miss Maple Leaf]

What an ignorant crank.

People are forgetful. It happens. It happens a LOT. I see people do it all the time. You know, you bring your cane you feel better than you thought, and leave it behind before you realize what you've done.

Almost happened to my grandfather once. He and I were at the bookstore and he had taken his cane with him because his knee had been bothering him.
By the time we had finished getting our books his knee wasn't bothering him any more, so he set his cane against the counter while he paid for his books.

He forgot to take the cane afterwards and didn't realize it. I noticed when we were a few feet away and he went back for it. Luckily it was still where he had left it.

If I hadn't been there though, he would have gone home without the cane and might never had realized where he had left it.

And Sheldon, that wouldn't happen to be a Caine Mutiny reference, would it?

[sirwired]

Step 1: Steal the canes from a bunch of absent-minded people
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit!!!!

Clearly you are in the initial stages for your evil plot for World Domination. I, for one, Welcome our new Cane-Thieving Overlords.

[Smapti]

Step 1: Steal the canes from a bunch of absent-minded people
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit!!!!

Well, clearly you sell the stolen canes to other old people who lost their canes at competing businesses, who likewise sell canes to the people whose canes were stolen by you, thereby ensuring a steady flow of profit for everyone.

[Monterey Jack]

People leave canes in shopping carts at work all the time. I always twirl them like batons while taking them over to the service desk.

[Food Lady]

Step 1: Steal the canes from a bunch of absent-minded people
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit!!!!

Clearly you are in the initial stages for your evil plot for World Domination. I, for one, Welcome our new Cane-Thieving Overlords.

Excellent Southpark reference. No one ever knows what I'm talking about when I mention the underpants gnomes. I blame them for stuff.

[sirwired]

Excellent Southpark reference. No one ever knows what I'm talking about when I mention the underpants gnomes. I blame them for stuff.

Yet everybody missed the Simpsons reference that followed.

SirWired is sad today.

[eltf177]

His name wasn't by any chance Queeg, was it?

(literary reference) :-)

What next, somebody steal the strawberries? My ship actually had a roast beef incident that was quite similar, talk about bad vibes...

[retro]

Clearly you are in the initial stages for your evil plot for World Domination. I, for one, Welcome our new Cane-Thieving Overlords.

Thank you Kent Brockman...

Yet everybody missed the Simpsons reference that followed.

SirWired is sad today.

Not everybody ...

[Evannah]

Did he really think that you stole all those canes? Seriously?

Some people really think that people working in the service industry are the lowest of the low, don't they?

[xxscooterxx]

Did he really think that you stole all those canes? Seriously?

Some people really think that people working in the service industry are the lowest of the low, don't they?

Yep. We don't qualify as legitimate human beings.

[pudddykat]

I am always awed at how well people handle idiots in the service industry. I regularly find myself shaking my head and thinking ye gods I'd have smacked that SC/clueless annoying customer upside the head by now.