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I know I don't post on here very often anymore... I simply don't have the time it seems (seriously, I'm currently working 68 hours a week between my two jobs and as much as I can't afford it, I really hope that part of the off peak season cutback at my second job is to drop my hours so I'm at more like 60-65 hours a week for my sanity's sake). But now, I've reach a point where I don't care if this is going to put me behind, I need to take the time to let some of this out and while I know it is rude to just disappear for months on end and then show up to ask for help, would appreciate any prayers and positive vibes you can send.
A few months ago we "adopted" (put in quotes because he's already turned 18 so taken in is the more appropriate phrase) our godson, moved him from Ogden Ut where he was getting in trouble with gangs and drugs out to where we live in Reno and started getting him on the right path. Things were going fairly well too, since moving he hasn't touched a drug, despite having been offered more than once, has cut back his smoking, had enrolled in the community college to finish his GED, and had a somewhat stable job (it was an on call position at the factory where my husband works... so yeah, he only got work when someone else called out sick, but it's better than nothing), and everything looked on the up and up.
Then we get the bomb shell, Utah's completely broken legal system (and yes, I know that is a comment that borders on Fratching territory, so preempting the mods, can we keep it on topic to what is happening and not a debate about the legal system) decided that 3 years later was the appropriate time to issue a bench warrant for failure to pay a fine (remember, a three year old fine, that was partially never paid because he was in foster care at the time and his foster parents never saw fit to pay it... or at least tell him that it hadn't been paid and he was on his own for it). Can we mail a check? No, it must be paid in person. Well, once it's paid is it over? No, have to wait at least two weeks for a court date. Well, after it's paid, can he come back and keep working and going to school and go back for his hearing? Nope, that would be contempt of court and he would be marked as a fugitive if he were to leave the state.
So, thanks to the "enlightened" ruling of the judge, he has had to drop out of school, quit his job, and move back in with his mother who is battling addiction herself (the main reason we took him in) in the neighborhood that is part of the territory of the gang that got him in trouble in the first place. He's a good kid, but I'm not sure he can last two weeks in that environment without getting into trouble while waiting for a court date so a judge can take 30 seconds to say "yup, it's been paid, you are free to go" (seriously, I know from experience that is exactly what those hearings are like... long story), and now all the hard work we did (him included in that we) has to be done over again. And, that is if we get the chance to do it again. My greatest fear is that he'll cross paths with the wrong person who isn't happy that he tried to clean up and left them behind and we'll end up going to his funeral, while my second greatest fear is that basically the same thing is going to happen except instead of his funeral it will be his trial where I will be called as a character witness for sentencing.
So right now, any prayers, any positives thoughts, hell, I'll accept burnt offerings to Athena at this point, for strength and a bit of luck for all of us will be appreciated, that we can survive this next couple of weeks (and hopefully it is only weeks) with our sanity intact. He really is the closest thing to a son we will probably ever have (short of adopting out of foster care with state assistance on the cost, the cost of adoption is up there with the cost of a luxury car and surrogacy can cost as much as a house) and I'm not sure we could handle losing him.
A few months ago we "adopted" (put in quotes because he's already turned 18 so taken in is the more appropriate phrase) our godson, moved him from Ogden Ut where he was getting in trouble with gangs and drugs out to where we live in Reno and started getting him on the right path. Things were going fairly well too, since moving he hasn't touched a drug, despite having been offered more than once, has cut back his smoking, had enrolled in the community college to finish his GED, and had a somewhat stable job (it was an on call position at the factory where my husband works... so yeah, he only got work when someone else called out sick, but it's better than nothing), and everything looked on the up and up.
Then we get the bomb shell, Utah's completely broken legal system (and yes, I know that is a comment that borders on Fratching territory, so preempting the mods, can we keep it on topic to what is happening and not a debate about the legal system) decided that 3 years later was the appropriate time to issue a bench warrant for failure to pay a fine (remember, a three year old fine, that was partially never paid because he was in foster care at the time and his foster parents never saw fit to pay it... or at least tell him that it hadn't been paid and he was on his own for it). Can we mail a check? No, it must be paid in person. Well, once it's paid is it over? No, have to wait at least two weeks for a court date. Well, after it's paid, can he come back and keep working and going to school and go back for his hearing? Nope, that would be contempt of court and he would be marked as a fugitive if he were to leave the state.
So, thanks to the "enlightened" ruling of the judge, he has had to drop out of school, quit his job, and move back in with his mother who is battling addiction herself (the main reason we took him in) in the neighborhood that is part of the territory of the gang that got him in trouble in the first place. He's a good kid, but I'm not sure he can last two weeks in that environment without getting into trouble while waiting for a court date so a judge can take 30 seconds to say "yup, it's been paid, you are free to go" (seriously, I know from experience that is exactly what those hearings are like... long story), and now all the hard work we did (him included in that we) has to be done over again. And, that is if we get the chance to do it again. My greatest fear is that he'll cross paths with the wrong person who isn't happy that he tried to clean up and left them behind and we'll end up going to his funeral, while my second greatest fear is that basically the same thing is going to happen except instead of his funeral it will be his trial where I will be called as a character witness for sentencing.
So right now, any prayers, any positives thoughts, hell, I'll accept burnt offerings to Athena at this point, for strength and a bit of luck for all of us will be appreciated, that we can survive this next couple of weeks (and hopefully it is only weeks) with our sanity intact. He really is the closest thing to a son we will probably ever have (short of adopting out of foster care with state assistance on the cost, the cost of adoption is up there with the cost of a luxury car and surrogacy can cost as much as a house) and I'm not sure we could handle losing him.
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