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  • A night(club) of idiots: A collection part 1

    I've alluded in earlier threads that I moonlight (sometimes even in actual moonlight) as a nightclub/social event photographer.

    Whilst it's technically an "easy" job for the most part, there is some skill involved, and while I've never really studied photography I've been at it a while and I've developed my own "style" - which leads to the first type of idiot.

    I/xxx can take better photos than you

    This comes in three main flavours.

    Orange: Jersey shore wannabes, mostly the female variety, often a hefty amount of fake tan applied (hence the name/colour) who'll usually pose with either an "awkward lean," "duck face" or the "Jupiter" (gravity just got a whole lot stronger in the presence of the camera). Will reject every single photo, while exclaiming that I'm a "sh*t photographer." Or "that photo makes me look ugly."

    My response in this situation, "The camera is just a mirror"


    Apple pop top: The photography student.

    For the most part, this type is usually ok, asking a few questions, usually about the lighting modifiers I use, but occasionally I'll get the textbook quoter or professor parrot that'll spout out some "golden rule of photography" that I'm breaking. It's art, not a scientific paper, and I have been doing this a lot longer than you've been studying.

    Bonus points if they look down on me for never actually studying photography.


    Lemon-lime and extra bitters: The other "professional" photographer(s)

    As above with students, most are alright, but it's the others I shake my head at. Whether it's due to my choice of brand, or that my camera isn't "pro" enough, any excuse will do to look down on me.

    Ex 1: shooting a large stage from up close with an ultra wide lens on my cheap camera I hear a snort of derision from my left. Look over to see someone sneering at the camera. I shrug, drop that camera to my left hip, and pull up the other, far more expensive camera from my right side for a close in shot.

    Ex 2: Prior to getting my far more expensive camera, the cheap camera was my only choice, paired with a lens originally released in 1987 (with an optical design much older) I shot at a regular event I'd never shot at before, after getting into the DJ competition. The other photographer was using a rig worth about $5-6000. Mine was worth probably $1400 at most.

    Event promoter claimed my shots were the best he's ever had at one of his events, due to my tight cropping/shooting (making the place look busier than it was) and vivid colour - as much as I don't like talking down other people's work, when you're shooting to promote an event, a grainy, flat image of two people surrounded by an empty dance floor isn't a great look.

    Ex 3: Same camera as Ex 2, being asked to set up a camera again 3-4 times as expensive as mine as the other guy liked my shots better. Next time don't have the flash firing 3x as bright as it needs to be.


    What happens in public STAYS in public

    Should be common sense. However along with common courtesy, neither are that common anymore.

    You want to stay with your boyfriend? Don't kiss someone else on the dancefloor.

    This actually happened. I will admit, if I see a couple making out I will do a quick snap as I walk past, as often they like to share that around on the net. Not this time, as a few seconds later I had a gaggle of schoolgirls (seriously doubt these girls had been 18 for very long) begging me to delete the photo.

    Being a little evil, as they were quite rude, I didn't, and sent it on to the promoter, along with all the other shots from the night.

    The next time I spoke with the promoter, he relates a little story to me. The girl's mother had called him to tell him that her boyfriend had seen the photo of her kissing someone not him, and ended the relationship (and rightly so ). Apparently the mother wasn't upset or angry, so I'm not sure why she called (or how she got his number) but I just find the whole situation hilarious.

    Now I do have more, but it's almost 2am here and I'm all smiley'd out, will post part 2 in the near future

  • #2
    Quoth prjkt View Post
    What happens in public STAYS in public

    Should be common sense. However along with common courtesy, neither are that common anymore.
    Common sense is still not a superpower....but that won't be long.
    I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

    Who is John Galt?
    -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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    • #3
      Quoth prjkt View Post
      The next time I spoke with the promoter, he relates a little story to me. The girl's mother had called him to tell him that her boyfriend had seen the photo of her kissing someone not him, and ended the relationship (and rightly so ). Apparently the mother wasn't upset or angry, so I'm not sure why she called (or how she got his number) but I just find the whole situation hilarious.
      I wonder what she expected the promoter to say? Was he supposed to feel bad because her princess lost her boyfriend?

      Personally, I think the now ex boyfriend got really lucky to find out what a shit his GF was before he got in too deep.

      Re expensive cameras: I use an inexpensive digital Fuji camera that I've had for about 10 years or so. I take great shots with it (I like nature and architechtural scenes), and everyone always raves about my photos. It cost me a couple hundred new IIRC. I've definitely gotten my money's worth out of it.

      Photography CAN be enhanced by good equipment, but there's so much artistry to it that it really doesn't require fancy smancy to get wonderful shots.
      They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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      • #4
        Used lenses FTW. I'm a A-mount guy (Sony A500), and have a whole pile of Minolta (and compatible) lenses that are tush-loads cheaper than buying brand-new glass. My favorite lens is a 100mm Macro lens with cheesy and horrible-sounding plastic gearing that somehow manages to take spectacular photos, both as macro and as a decent portrait lens.

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        • #5
          The lens in question was brand new, just an old old design - Canon 28mm 2.8 (about $350 at the time)

          Currently using a 40mm 2.8 on my Fullframe camera now that only cost me $200 for most of my party shots

          Quoth Sapphire Silk View Post
          I wonder what she expected the promoter to say? Was he supposed to feel bad because her princess lost her boyfriend?

          Personally, I think the now ex boyfriend got really lucky to find out what a shit his GF was before he got in too deep.
          Agreed, at first I felt kinda bad that my photo directly ended a relationship, but then I thought about it a bit, and realised I did the guy a solid - better he know than not...

          Quoth Sapphire Silk View Post
          Re expensive cameras: I use an inexpensive digital Fuji camera that I've had for about 10 years or so. I take great shots with it (I like nature and architechtural scenes), and everyone always raves about my photos. It cost me a couple hundred new IIRC. I've definitely gotten my money's worth out of it..
          Then there are those that spend thousands, have no idea what they're doing and shoot in "Auto" - I get a lot of those working in photographic sales, but that's a topic for another thread

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          • #6
            I used a Canon 50D for five years now. Just replaced it with a 70D. No, it's not top of the line but it's not bottom of the line either. Would I like a 5D, sure? But since I'm doing this as a hobby, I'll be content with the 70D.

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            • #7
              Quoth prjkt View Post
              for most of my party shots
              I must be more tired than I thought. My mind substituted a letter in "party" there, making for a much more amusing image >_>
              Then there are those that spend thousands, have no idea what they're doing and shoot in "Auto" - I get a lot of those working in photographic sales, but that's a topic for another thread
              We just had a photog who actually knows what he's doing come in to our office at the paper to give us an hour-long session on proper shot settings (ISO and the like) -- I use a little point-and-shoot thingy (pretty good for what it is), but that's because they only send me out to cover stuff when everybody else is busy Our proper photogs have real cameras. He helped us to tweak our settings to improve our stuff a lot (especially for big D, who covers tons of concerts, where flashes up front are often disallowed; he even gave me some tips), pointed us toward Eneloops (I was a little scared that I was the only one of us who had heard of the wonderful little things before this session), discussed the evils of digital zoom, etc. 'Twas an enlightening hour ^_^ And none of use use Auto anymore v_v
              "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
              "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
              "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
              "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
              "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
              "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
              Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
              "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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              • #8
                I'm not that kind of photographer!

                Ah yes, the "first three, no flash" rule - ie shoot the first three songs then get out, before the band/performer is all sweaty and no flash to distract them- nice fast lens is good for that (the ubiquitous 50mm 1.8 is usually a good entry into this sort of shooting)

                I have been using Eneloops and Eneloop XXXs for years in my camera flashes, I think I have 5 or 6 sets - two sets in the flashes, one set on each camera strap in a pouch and two sets charging.

                I will admit, on occasion, to using P (Program Auto) when I can't be bothered messing with aperture or shutter values, but I always set my own ISO (sensitivity) and white balance.

                Quoth mikoyan29 View Post
                I used a Canon 50D for five years now. Just replaced it with a 70D. No, it's not top of the line but it's not bottom of the line either. Would I like a 5D, sure? But since I'm doing this as a hobby, I'll be content with the 70D.
                70D is a great camera! (So is the 50D) you won't need to replace that for years - if you're looking to improve image quality at all, your next stop would be a lens (where most of the quality comes from)

                I felt the same as you, while I am making a little bit of an income, I couldn't justify the $3K+ the 5D3 body was going for but wanted a fullframe camera, so as soon as the 6D was announced, I put money down on it. Have had it since the day it came into the shop (even used it for a shoot that very night). If anyone's interested, my backup (aka cheap) camera is a 600D.

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                • #9
                  I have a 10 year old HP camera that I love. It takes great pictures for the kind that I take. I work in photo so I see all sorts of pictures and good equipment can make a difference but if you don't have the eye for a good photo none of that makes a difference.
                  I would have a nice day, but I have other things to do.

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                  • #10
                    The comment that makes me want to kill...

                    "Great photo! You must have a really good camera".

                    I lost it once and replied, "yeah, they used to tell Rembrandt he must have a really superb set of brushes".

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                    • #11
                      Quoth prjkt View Post
                      Lemon-lime and extra bitters: The other "professional" photographer(s)

                      As above with students, most are alright, but it's the others I shake my head at. Whether it's due to my choice of brand, or that my camera isn't "pro" enough, any excuse will do to look down on me.
                      I've been told by professional photographers that the camera doesn't matter as much as the person behind it, a more expensive camera just does some of the stuff for you.
                      Honestly.... the image of that in my head made me go "AWESOME!"..... and then I remembered I am terribly strange.-Red dazes

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                      • #12
                        ROFLMAO. <background - I went to a very pricy private school for the last 3 years of high school> I showed up for my senior year's art option, photography and darkroom, with a 1939 Leica 3B, and the boxed set of every filter and lens offered [Hey, my Dad got it as a HS graduation present from my Grandfather. What can I say, my grandfather was a Baron of Industry...] The other students in class who had the newest expensive spiffy crap available in 1970 couldn't understand why the teacher was enraptured by my 'old crappy equipment' and they also couldn't understand why he was thrilled at my matching vintage enlarger, also by Leica. The *cloth shutter* also still timed at 1/1000 second <evil grin>
                        EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

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                        • #13
                          33% is the camera 66% is the person behind the camera

                          Quoth EricKei View Post
                          We just had a photog who actually knows what he's doing come in to our office at the paper to give us an hour-long session on proper shot settings (ISO and the like) --.... 'Twas an enlightening hour ^_^ And none of use use Auto anymore v_v
                          Quoth AngloSaxonViking View Post
                          "Great photo! You must have a really good camera".

                          I lost it once and replied, "yeah, they used to tell Rembrandt he must have a really superb set of brushes".
                          Quoth BlaqueKatt View Post
                          I've been told by professional photographers that the camera doesn't matter as much as the person behind it, a more expensive camera just does some of the stuff for you.
                          I just have a camera to take photos of where I go on vacation.

                          The camera I use now was sold to me by a friend who really into taking good photos with what she has (of-course the money went towards by a far better and more expensive model). But we go together on the same trips and many times take photos of the same things. (Too many cruises go to St. Thomas, and we keep going back to

                          This means I have copies of her photos where she used the very same camera as I am presently using to take my own photos of the same things in the same places.

                          The differences between her photos and my shots are amazing, the details - colour balance - and fine details visible are clearly better in her shots. Sometimes if I am lucky I get a shot that she wants but the ratio is like 20 to 1 in her favour.
                          Last edited by EricKei; 09-28-2014, 05:32 PM. Reason: trimmed quote - just a little off the sides

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                          • #14
                            Quoth prjkt View Post
                            Then there are those that spend thousands, have no idea what they're doing and shoot in "Auto" - I get a lot of those working in photographic sales, but that's a topic for another thread
                            There are any number of settings on my camera that I have no idea what they are for.

                            I just change settings until I get the look I want
                            They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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                            • #15
                              You don't get rid of something just because it's old. I still have my Argus C3, and my Nikon FM2. It's just that SD cards are cheaer today than film...
                              I will not be pushed, stamped, filed, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered. My life is my own. --#6

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