Dealing with a Chronic Harasser

[Ghel]

In an office of six women and one man (the manager, "Goodhair", who is frequently out of the office), we have a SC who is a chronic harasser. SC is a local businessman, who thinks he can get away with being a self-entitled creep. I've mentioned him in past threads. Some of his behavior includes:

• standing in the lobby and staring at one of us with a slight grin on his face
• calling my (now retired) boss "sexy"
• addressing me as "sweetpea," for which I called him out
• addressing one of my coworkers as "floozy" and "bimbo" on multiple occasions
• generally being a self-entitled git, and getting his way for waived fees, etc. because everybody wants to get him out of the lobby as fast as possible

So yesterday, after his first comment to me was how I cut my "pretty hair," I wrote a letter that I hope to have every employee, including Goodhair, sign. I intend to send it to him certified so there's a date stamp on it with his signature, so he can't say he never got it. I'm sure he'll complain and either claim he didn't do these things or say there's nothing wrong with doing them. If that happens, Goodhair can deal with him.

The first coworker I shared the letter with said she didn't want it to sound like we're "lecturing" him and that there's nicer ways of saying it. I don't want to whitewash what he's done. I want it to be clear so that he knows what behavior we expect him to change. She's also worried that he'll badmouth us around town, but I don't think that will have much effect. His business only attracts people staying here temporarily, and those who have known him any length of time should know what an asshole he is.

The employees who have been on the receiving end of his harassment agree that we should send the letter. This has gone on far too long. We should have done this a long time ago.

Text of the letter:

On multiple occasions, you have said and done things that have made the employees of <Bank> feel uncomfortable. Here are a few of the things you have done and how you should correct them:

Comments about our appearance are unacceptable. We are not here for you to ogle or stare at.

Employees should be addressed by their given name. Pet names, nicknames, or any form of address that comments on our appearance, demeanor, or sexual availability will not be tolerated.

SC, you appear to have a misunderstanding about the nature of the customer/employee relationship at <Bank>. We deserve to be treated with respect.

If you do not agree to follow these guidelines, then please take your accounts elsewhere.

Sincerely,

The employees of <Bank>

I would appreciate any suggestions for ways to make the letter clearer or more complete. Goodhair is out of the office today, so I intend to show it to him tomorrow when he returns.

[sirwired]

IANAL, but...

You should not be sending this letter directly to the customer. This is the responsibility of your management to deal with. Send your manager and HR a letter documenting the harassing behavior (dates, names, the whole works) and request that the bank counsel this client and/or terminate providing services and/or trespass-order him if necessary. Putting it on paper would make any refusal to act evidence of creating a hostile working environment.

If you send this letter directly to the client, I could totally see management coming down on you and your fellow branch employees with complaints about not following proper channels, interfering with the bank's relationship with it's customers, etc. That's not going to end well... management will claim what a big surprise this is, and poor consequences for everyone result.

You may want to pool some funds together for a couple hours consult with an employment lawyer to determine the best way to proceed, and advice on how to word the letter to HR and management. This might cost less than you think... (many lawyers will perform a brief consult for free, even... you may want to try that route first.)

[nutraxfornerves]

I think I'd approach it differently. If employees send such a letter, they will be perceived as representing the Bank. The Bank may not want to be so represented.

You don't say where you are, but if it's the US, your employer has a legal obligation to keep a harassment-free workplace. That includes harassment by customers. Lots of employers aren't happy with that.

Even if you are elsewhere, because it's a bank, there may be larger, corporate issues, including legal ones.

I'd do this:

Even if you've done it before, set up a meeting with Goodhair to discuss the problem. Not a gripe session. A formal meeting. Nominate a spokesperson to outline the issues, with examples. Inform Goodhair that you want it to stop. If need be, drop hints about possible employee action if nothing is done (be sure you know what you can actually do). Goodhair may have to discuss it with Legal or HR first. You want a plan of escalated actions.

The first step would probably be a documented verbal warning. Goodhair meets with Creep and tells him it has to stop. Creep will probably get defensive and go into "just kidding."

Then you do the written warning--or rather Goodhair does, with full Bank cooperation.

That way, the Bank gets its CYA and you get rid of Creep--even if it takes longer than you want.

[Ghel]

Goodhair is the branch manager. I intend to run it by him, and even get him to sign it, before mailing it. I don't understand why it would need to go to HR, when the offender is a customer, not an employee.

I also neglected to mention that my former boss has spoken with this SC at least twice that I can recall, the last time after he called her "sexy."

[nutraxfornerves]

One reason to get HR involved? Because there may be labor laws that apply. They may want to make sure that all is well in case Creep files some sort of lawsuit or turns out to play golf with some corporate bigwig.

And, because HR types hate to be blindsided.

[Shyla]

Is it possible for management to tell him he is not welcome at this branch anymore? Unless his accounts are in the millions, it should make very little difference if he is fired as a customer.

I would suggest that you and the other women be very direct. When he says Hey bimbo, say Do not call me bimbo and then refuse to help him today. If you are all united in this, he will probably either behave or go bother people elsewhere. The key is to appear calm and bored which is the hard part.

[sirwired]

Goodhair is the branch manager. I intend to run it by him, and even get him to sign it, before mailing it. I don't understand why it would need to go to HR, when the offender is a customer, not an employee.

I also neglected to mention that my former boss has spoken with this SC at least twice that I can recall, the last time after he called her "sexy."

You should make sure HR is in the loop, as they are the part of a company generally responsible for ensuring that the whole Hostile Working Environment stuff doesn't happen; it doesn't matter if it's an employee or client doing the harassing. Line management is often either quite clueless and/or would prefer to do the whole head-in-the-sand trick to retain business.

Your employee handbook (if there is one) should have the details on the proper procedures; they virtually always involve HR.

[Raveni]

You asked for advice on the letter, so that's what I'll give:

It is too long and preachy. Make it two paragraphs, as short as possible. State the unacceptable behavior, like "On Friday, October 10th, you made an inappropriate comment about the hair of one of our employees that is categorized under our employee handbook as third-party harassment". List additional examples if you can be specific.

The second paragraph should simply list the expected behavior. Don't ask them to take their business elsewhere or threaten. A straight-forward "On future visits, please refrain from having non-business conversations with bank employees" might do.

[EricKei]

I must agree on the HR thing -- despite the name, their job is to minimize the company's exposure to legal liability. Anything (especially something "representative of the Bank") like this sent to them will likely be run past the lawyers, as well, to make sure it's allowed; while they may mandate changes, this is a good precaution to take. In this case, shutting this guy down -- assuming it works -- will eliminate a very legitimate reason for employees to bring legal action against the company (for Hostile Workplace/allowing harassment); thus, it's something they'd likely be interested in facilitating.

It may also be wise to suggest running it by PR, because, well, it's a matter that deals with a member of the public

[nutraxfornerves]

"Hostile Work Place" That's the phrase I was struggling to find. There's a lot of legal baggage in that term.

The second paragraph should simply list the expected behavior. Don't ask them to take their business elsewhere or threaten. A straight-forward "On future visits, please refrain from having non-business conversations with bank employees" might do.

That's a really good point for a letter. It should end with what you want to have happen. You want Creep to stop being a creep. You don't want him to agree to anything, just to knock it off. Whether he stays or goes is not the issue.

I would not word it as "please refrain"or anything like a request. Nor would I say "non-business conversations." He's like to claim that "Hi there, sugar babe, here's my deposit," is work related.

We request that you conduct your business with our staff in a professional manner and refrain from making inappropriate comments to any of our staff or to other customers.

You can also back off and be even more formal. Acme Bank expects all customers to interact with us in a professional and business-lke manner. Customers who repeatedly make inappropriate comments to our staff may be requested to terminate their relationship with our bank. (that approach shows that Creep is not being singled out, but rather is being held to the same standard as everyone else. Harder for him to defend.)

[SixFortyK]

I don't understand why it would need to go to HR, when the offender is a customer, not an employee.

Dealing with a customer who harasses employees is exactly the type of situation HR is meant to deal with.
Approach HR with the details. Tell them about the letter, if you wish. They will almost certainly advise you not to send it. Let HR contact the customer and deal with it.

[An Haddock]

Ghel, it may sound like the posters here might be "against" you in recommending that you don't send that letter and instead go through HR and your manager but please believe me that we have your best interests at heart.

There is nothing the collective posters here love more than an SC getting his comeuppance... but you have to make sure all your i's are dotted and t's crossed. We would hate to see you get in trouble for defending yourself and your co-workers against this sleaze.

So please - talk to HR. Describe the hostile workplace environment. Make sure your bases are covered before acting.

[EricKei]

Exactly. We're all for stopping this creeper in his tracks before he decides that "not throwing him out" is the same thing as "Hey, the girls here must LIKE the way I treat them," which (in his mind) may give him license to turn up the ooze factor. We just want to help make sure y'all go about this the proper way, so that YOU don't get into trouble over HIS unacceptable behavior.

[otakuneko]

In short: because legal.

You should lay down the law in person though: warn him once and then refuse to serve him if he continues.

[Sapphire Silk]

Goodhair is the branch manager. I intend to run it by him, and even get him to sign it, before mailing it. I don't understand why it would need to go to HR, when the offender is a customer, not an employee.

I also neglected to mention that my former boss has spoken with this SC at least twice that I can recall, the last time after he called her "sexy."

You should always go through HR. Your letter will alienate the customer and with the customer is always right attitude of corporate, and you'll take the fall.

HR exists to prevent litigation and protect liability. They're in a better place to protect you from sexual harassment.

But ultimately your branch manager must take the lead. Goodhair is condoning the behavior by not calling the suckstomer out on it. He needs to be firm, "I don't like the way you are treating my employees, and it must stop."