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I was really unsure as to where to post this, if to post it at all.. Bear with me, I'll try to keep it as short as possible.
(Admin, feel free to move this, if necessary, or if it does indeed become a "War Story")
(I'm a cashier at a small grocery store)
BG- We have a regular customer, I will call him "Mr D." Mr D is severely autistic, is in his late 40's to early 50's, and is barely verbal. He will parrot back what you say to him in clipped words, just enough to confirm that he understood you, and/or to make himself understood ("Do you want a bag?" "Yeah, bag") Mr D comes in to shop once a week, and I am not exaggerating when I say he spends ALL day in the store. 8+ hours. The reason for this is his unique shopping style- he purchases his groceries one item at a time. He will purchase one item, wrap it in a plastic bag, then put it in a paper bag, and stash it in the corner (by the magazine rack where very few people bother to go). Then back into the store for his next purchase. Another plastic bag, another paper bag, one item per bag, until, by the end of his shopping, he has three carts filled with single items in single bags. It's just his thing. Yes, it can be a pain in the ass for us cashiers, especially on busy days (I once kept track for ha-ha's, and over my 6 hour shift, I'd waited on him 25 times) But he is not demanding or rude, he doesnt make eye contact, and once you are familiar with his routine, it's not much of a hassle to accomodate.
The only problem Mr D has is with loud noises/chaotic noise, namely in the form of crying babies and shrieking toddlers. For this reason, he tends to shop on our senior citizen day, when the majority of patrons are quiet elderly folks. When loud kids do show up, Mr D can get very agitated, and if it doesn't ease up quickly enough for him, he will have a bit of a tantrum...think: RainMan in the airport, without the screaming. Pacing fast in circles, hand-flapping, head-slapping, incoherant panic babble, tears. I've only witnessed it once, and my heart broke- even though he's much older than me, all I could think was "Oh, that poor kid".
Now, my CSM is wonderful with him, having an autistic son of her own at home. When she sees him getting nervous, she will take him outside and talk him down, "You're okay, Mr D. You're not going to get upset.." and he will calm down for her, rock back and forth and repeat "I'm ok, not upset" and eventually the noise leaves and he resumes his weird little shopping ritual. He now seems drawn to her, as if knowing she will keep the scary noises away from him.
A couple of weeks ago, a woman with two small toddlers (like 2 and 3 yrs) and a newborn was in my line. The baby was crying, the kids were play-fighting, yelping and giggling, screeching and hooting...Mr D started his pacing, we could tell he was getting upset. CSM did her magic and calmed him down. That wasn't good enough for another lady that was in line. If there was a soapbox in sight, she would've jumped on it, that was how loudly she was preaching, that "people like that" shouldn't be out in public, how "nervous" "people like that" make her, etc. She had other customers agreeing with her, and I was just hoping the stock-boys had already put away the tiki-torches for the season, sure she would soon start passing out pitchforks.
If you are still reading, thank you...I'm getting to the point now...
Yesterday, Mr D was in, doing his thing, and that same bitchy lady also happened to be in the store, with her toddler granddaughter. I did not witness whatever happened, but the word I got was that the toddler was crying, Mr D got nervous and went to the service desk to find CSM. Apparently offended, the bitchy lady also headed to the service desk and there was some kind of confrontation. Service desk is not far from where I work; I dont think Mr D had a full fit, or I would've heard it. All I know is that within a few minutes, two police officers entered the store with papers in hand, and our spineless new manager went ahead and signed them. A "no-trespass" order against Mr D.
Cops approached him and I heard every word.
Cop: "Ok, Mr D, it's time for you to go now.."
Mr D: "Yeah, go now."
Cop: "You're gonna leave this store and you are not to come back, you got it?"
Mr D:" Yeah, come back, come back Saturday"
Cop: "Do you HEAR ME? If you come back, you're going to jail!"
At this point, Mr D was getting agitated, from the cop trying to get close to him and the loud voice she was using, so he was doing his fast-pacing thing, hand-flapping, and the cop was making matters worse by trying to get in his face, raising her voice louder..
Cop:" If you dont knock it off RIGHT NOW, I'm gonna put you in handcuffs, Mr D, are you LISTENING to me? I will put you on the ground, put you in handcuffs, put you in my POLICE CAR and take you to JAIL! You CANNOT be in this store, hassling people. You need to leave this store NOW and NEVER come back" and she's basically chasing him in circles, grabbing at him, trying to put the papers in his hand.
Eventually, a few employees were able to calm him down, someone called his caretaker to come pick him and his groceries up, and someone sat outside waiting with him. The cop kept making remarks to those of us at the registers "Is he always LIKE THIS? Is he in here every day? Why does he have so many bags? I'll bet you'll be glad not to deal with him anymore, huh?"
I just kept my eyes down and pretended not to hear any of it. Once the dust settled, we (cashiers) all kinda looked at each other and said "That was so unnecessary." and more than one of us had tears in our eyes. Meanwhile, CSM was having it out with upper management in the parking lot. This all happened just a few minutes before I was due to count down my till and clock out, which I am not supposed to do with out my CSM, but I did it anyway.
I went out to the parking lot and found my CSM, crying in her car. We talked for about a half hour. I wont reiterate the conversation word for word, but the gist was:
-Mr D is NOT capable of being served with legal papers, the way that cop was trying to force them into his hand.
-He didn't understand a single thing that just happened, all he knew was people were being loud and scary to him.
-Cop had no right to threaten him the way she did. He's operating with a very low mental-age, as far as we can tell, from years of dealing with him. Threatening to "put him on the ground and handcuff him" is just cruel.
-Manager should not have signed the No Trespass. Mr D has never harmed or threatened anyone. He gets scared. And even his "tantrums" are not threatening, they are sad (at least to anyone with a heart) At most, perhaps Manager could somehow just stipulate that Mr D not shop unattended (we've all said this from time to time, that his caretaker really should be with him when he's out in public)
-The customer who called the police is a fear-mongerer and attention-whore. A small mentally-handicapped man in tears because children's loud noises scare him is in no way threatening to anyone but himself.
CSM was debating driving away and never coming back. I was glad to find out that she did eventually go back in, would hate for her to lose the job over this.
I apologise for the length of this, but for almost 2 days now it's been bouncing around my brain and I just had to get it out. I can't say I'll totally miss him, because, yeah, it was a bit of a pain in the ass sometimes. But he never hurt anyone, his shopping ritual seemed important to him, and he was just treated so harshly and unfairly, it was hard to witness, and seeing how upset my CSM was over it...it was just a sucky situation, which didnt need to happen, except that one bitchy customer wanted to start shit.
Today was my day off and I got a text from a CW, that CSM and store's security team is reviewing tapes, asked me if I remember the date from a few weeks ago when he had the tantrum. I'm assuming, in the hopes of proving that he is in no way threatening to anyone. It happened at my register, so I would be the one to ask. And I intend on being as helpful as I can.
I just don't think this story is over yet...
(Admin, feel free to move this, if necessary, or if it does indeed become a "War Story")
(I'm a cashier at a small grocery store)
BG- We have a regular customer, I will call him "Mr D." Mr D is severely autistic, is in his late 40's to early 50's, and is barely verbal. He will parrot back what you say to him in clipped words, just enough to confirm that he understood you, and/or to make himself understood ("Do you want a bag?" "Yeah, bag") Mr D comes in to shop once a week, and I am not exaggerating when I say he spends ALL day in the store. 8+ hours. The reason for this is his unique shopping style- he purchases his groceries one item at a time. He will purchase one item, wrap it in a plastic bag, then put it in a paper bag, and stash it in the corner (by the magazine rack where very few people bother to go). Then back into the store for his next purchase. Another plastic bag, another paper bag, one item per bag, until, by the end of his shopping, he has three carts filled with single items in single bags. It's just his thing. Yes, it can be a pain in the ass for us cashiers, especially on busy days (I once kept track for ha-ha's, and over my 6 hour shift, I'd waited on him 25 times) But he is not demanding or rude, he doesnt make eye contact, and once you are familiar with his routine, it's not much of a hassle to accomodate.
The only problem Mr D has is with loud noises/chaotic noise, namely in the form of crying babies and shrieking toddlers. For this reason, he tends to shop on our senior citizen day, when the majority of patrons are quiet elderly folks. When loud kids do show up, Mr D can get very agitated, and if it doesn't ease up quickly enough for him, he will have a bit of a tantrum...think: RainMan in the airport, without the screaming. Pacing fast in circles, hand-flapping, head-slapping, incoherant panic babble, tears. I've only witnessed it once, and my heart broke- even though he's much older than me, all I could think was "Oh, that poor kid".
Now, my CSM is wonderful with him, having an autistic son of her own at home. When she sees him getting nervous, she will take him outside and talk him down, "You're okay, Mr D. You're not going to get upset.." and he will calm down for her, rock back and forth and repeat "I'm ok, not upset" and eventually the noise leaves and he resumes his weird little shopping ritual. He now seems drawn to her, as if knowing she will keep the scary noises away from him.
A couple of weeks ago, a woman with two small toddlers (like 2 and 3 yrs) and a newborn was in my line. The baby was crying, the kids were play-fighting, yelping and giggling, screeching and hooting...Mr D started his pacing, we could tell he was getting upset. CSM did her magic and calmed him down. That wasn't good enough for another lady that was in line. If there was a soapbox in sight, she would've jumped on it, that was how loudly she was preaching, that "people like that" shouldn't be out in public, how "nervous" "people like that" make her, etc. She had other customers agreeing with her, and I was just hoping the stock-boys had already put away the tiki-torches for the season, sure she would soon start passing out pitchforks.
If you are still reading, thank you...I'm getting to the point now...
Yesterday, Mr D was in, doing his thing, and that same bitchy lady also happened to be in the store, with her toddler granddaughter. I did not witness whatever happened, but the word I got was that the toddler was crying, Mr D got nervous and went to the service desk to find CSM. Apparently offended, the bitchy lady also headed to the service desk and there was some kind of confrontation. Service desk is not far from where I work; I dont think Mr D had a full fit, or I would've heard it. All I know is that within a few minutes, two police officers entered the store with papers in hand, and our spineless new manager went ahead and signed them. A "no-trespass" order against Mr D.
Cops approached him and I heard every word.
Cop: "Ok, Mr D, it's time for you to go now.."
Mr D: "Yeah, go now."
Cop: "You're gonna leave this store and you are not to come back, you got it?"
Mr D:" Yeah, come back, come back Saturday"
Cop: "Do you HEAR ME? If you come back, you're going to jail!"
At this point, Mr D was getting agitated, from the cop trying to get close to him and the loud voice she was using, so he was doing his fast-pacing thing, hand-flapping, and the cop was making matters worse by trying to get in his face, raising her voice louder..
Cop:" If you dont knock it off RIGHT NOW, I'm gonna put you in handcuffs, Mr D, are you LISTENING to me? I will put you on the ground, put you in handcuffs, put you in my POLICE CAR and take you to JAIL! You CANNOT be in this store, hassling people. You need to leave this store NOW and NEVER come back" and she's basically chasing him in circles, grabbing at him, trying to put the papers in his hand.
Eventually, a few employees were able to calm him down, someone called his caretaker to come pick him and his groceries up, and someone sat outside waiting with him. The cop kept making remarks to those of us at the registers "Is he always LIKE THIS? Is he in here every day? Why does he have so many bags? I'll bet you'll be glad not to deal with him anymore, huh?"
I just kept my eyes down and pretended not to hear any of it. Once the dust settled, we (cashiers) all kinda looked at each other and said "That was so unnecessary." and more than one of us had tears in our eyes. Meanwhile, CSM was having it out with upper management in the parking lot. This all happened just a few minutes before I was due to count down my till and clock out, which I am not supposed to do with out my CSM, but I did it anyway.
I went out to the parking lot and found my CSM, crying in her car. We talked for about a half hour. I wont reiterate the conversation word for word, but the gist was:
-Mr D is NOT capable of being served with legal papers, the way that cop was trying to force them into his hand.
-He didn't understand a single thing that just happened, all he knew was people were being loud and scary to him.
-Cop had no right to threaten him the way she did. He's operating with a very low mental-age, as far as we can tell, from years of dealing with him. Threatening to "put him on the ground and handcuff him" is just cruel.
-Manager should not have signed the No Trespass. Mr D has never harmed or threatened anyone. He gets scared. And even his "tantrums" are not threatening, they are sad (at least to anyone with a heart) At most, perhaps Manager could somehow just stipulate that Mr D not shop unattended (we've all said this from time to time, that his caretaker really should be with him when he's out in public)
-The customer who called the police is a fear-mongerer and attention-whore. A small mentally-handicapped man in tears because children's loud noises scare him is in no way threatening to anyone but himself.
CSM was debating driving away and never coming back. I was glad to find out that she did eventually go back in, would hate for her to lose the job over this.
I apologise for the length of this, but for almost 2 days now it's been bouncing around my brain and I just had to get it out. I can't say I'll totally miss him, because, yeah, it was a bit of a pain in the ass sometimes. But he never hurt anyone, his shopping ritual seemed important to him, and he was just treated so harshly and unfairly, it was hard to witness, and seeing how upset my CSM was over it...it was just a sucky situation, which didnt need to happen, except that one bitchy customer wanted to start shit.
Today was my day off and I got a text from a CW, that CSM and store's security team is reviewing tapes, asked me if I remember the date from a few weeks ago when he had the tantrum. I'm assuming, in the hopes of proving that he is in no way threatening to anyone. It happened at my register, so I would be the one to ask. And I intend on being as helpful as I can.
I just don't think this story is over yet...
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