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  • Retail. Retail never changes.

    Since the dawn of capitalism, when our ancestors first discovered the allure of having more stuff, money has been spent in the name of everything: from Christmas to Easter to simple, psychotic greed.

    In the year 2077, after millennia of buying and selling, the consumptive nature of man could sustain itself no longer. The world was plunged into an abyss of economic meltdown and poverty.

    But it was not, as some had predicted, the end of the dollar. Instead, the collapse was simply the prologue to another greedy chapter of human history. For man had succeeded in destroying the world - but retail, retail never changes.

    In the early days, boxing day was the worst day of retail, the retail workers only had to brave the crowds that one day a year, but then the sales grew to boxing week and stretched to other holidays. No longer were the workers spared and when they emerged, they had only the hell of the wastes to greet them – including those in store 101. For on that fateful day, when greed reigned supreme, the double glass doors of store 101 slid open ... and didn’t close for hours. It was here you work. It is here you will die.

    Because, in store 101: the customers come first.

    Sometimes I do want to set the world on fire.
    After successfully finding the water chip for my last store I joined up with store 101 where I exchange oldworld technology for bottle caps to survivors of the waste. It’s boring gruelling work but it pays in caps and lets me pay for lizard on a stick at the general store across the road.
    There are times though where I wished I had joined the brotherhood who keep the technology to themselves rather than give it out to the unwashed (in some cases really, really unwashed) masses. Sometimes I wonder what the old days were like when people showered regularly and didn’t have retched breath. Surely the people must have been smarter before the radiation rotted their brains.

    On the walk to work I really do question whether people should be allowed access to this stuff at all while I see two people have a screaming match in the middle of the town square for no discernable reason. Fortunately before I feel a need to contact the local marshal they disperse but I hear one making comments about she’ll stab the other woman if she bothers her again. I watch them walk away pushing their strollers before moving on. As I continue my brain rambles on wondering if there is anyone hope for humanity and I notice a collection of playing cards depicting various sexual positions spread on the ground and keep going no longer surprised by events like these.

    Once at work I see the usual collection of social sediment come into my store. The ghouls who’ve decayed to the point that their brain will not retain any information unless it’s been told to them several times have been coming more frequently lately, leading to conversations like:

    Them: This mouse will work fine?
    Me: yes it will be fine
    Them: it will be fine?
    Me: yes it will be fine
    Them: it will be fine?
    Me: yes it will be fine
    Them: it will be fine?
    Me: yes it will be fine
    Them: it will be fine?
    Me: yes.
    Them: ok then.
    I’m guessing the radiation has eaten their brain and left a hollow shell with a small radhamster running on a broken wheel.

    Just a general comment to my customers:
    Look when a gibbering mad supermutant makes more sense than you we have a problem.
    When you make that little sense while trying to get me to fix your computer we have a real problem.

    I’m at work manning my territory trying to clean up the thousands of tin cans that always seem to be around for some reason. My coworker is helping a female raider that has brought her two raiderlings along with her. See she has given each of them a pipjoy junior tablet o play with so she doesn’t have to parent them herself, but they’ve both broken theirs rather thoroughly. Fortunately she’s had the foresight to purchase our in case of idiocy accidental plan. So she’ll be able to get new ones while only having to pay for the new plans. Now the issue is our connection to enclave has randomly decided to go offline and we can’t do this procedure without them so the customer has to wait for the connection to be re-established. During this time I decided to show her a couple sleeves for the tablets that might help protect against drops I figure to get us some more bottlecaps out of her. Now these each go for 20 caps a piece and she immediately says:
    Customer: do them for 15 each and you have a deal. You can do it I know you can.
    Me: I’m not able to do that (technically I can actually adjust things by up to 10 dollars but it’s supposed to fix a problem not as a haggling tool, plus she annoyed me with this)
    Customer: *Grabbing her son’s face* come on can you say no to this face?
    I let her know I in fact could say no that face and left her to wait for the reconnection while she kept whining about how she might not get her tablets that night.
    When there was a moment away from her I asked my customer not to give any discounts to her because she’ll try to argue for it, and he said he heard what she said and wasn’t giving her anything.

    Eventually connection re-established and she leaves with the new tablets, to hopefully never trouble us again.

    On another day I had just finished helping a trio of ghouls who probably only had one functional brain between them and was helping a new customer when all of a sudden I feel something on my arm. It seems the lead ghoul wants my attention despite me being with a customer already and has grabbed my arm. I resist the urge to hasten him losing his limbs and answer his question which was merely whether or not the Brotherhood Brand Tablets could check email and went back to helping my other customer. I’m glad he interrupted and grabbed me like that or he might have to wait 5 minutes or at least say excuse me.

    Well my journey continues for now, I feel like I’ve been doing this forever now but what else is there to do in the wasteland because as we know Retail Never Changes.



    *I know I just posted a thread but I found this hiding in a word file and decided to finish and post it, so you get a double dose of madness*
    Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
    Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

  • #2
    For those wondering what the hell is this. basically I got tired of writing "this customer is dumb" and decided to have fun with it.

    previous adventures for the uninitiated

    http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=94504
    http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...d.php?t=100065
    http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...d.php?t=102375

    and another new one:
    http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s....php?p=1245204

    and for more context on this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhhfBoeaacw
    Last edited by gremcint; 11-04-2014, 05:54 AM. Reason: Supermutants
    Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
    Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm 100% OK with fallout-themed stories.

      The only disadvantage to this world versus fallout is you can't station a BoS Paladin in the corner with a laser minigun. The cycling noise of that thing spinning up alone might make the ghouls and raiders more polite.

      Comment


      • #4
        I was more a fan of the heavy incinerator personally. I would actually just stand on a hill and fire that thing off randomly in game.
        Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
        Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

        Comment


        • #5
          As soon as I read the title I heard it in Ron Perlman's voice

          Comment


          • #6
            Normal boring SCs, or Fallout SCs?

            Yep, you have just won the Internet. The Brotherhood might be right, that much tech is too much for most people.
            I might be crazy, but I'm not Insane.

            What? You don't play with flamethrowers on the weekends? You are strange.

            Comment


            • #7
              Not Fallout, but I still thought I'd have fun with this topic. I present to you the SC's Creed

              1. Stay your rants from the ears of the innocent. (which is no one)
              2. Tantrum in plain sight
              3. Never compromise on sales prices.
              Nothing is sucky. Everything is permitted.
              To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

              Comment


              • #8
                Mayyyyyybbbbeeeeeee.... you'll think of me. When you are all alone..
                Shop Smart. Shop S-Mart!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth prjkt View Post
                  As soon as I read the title I heard it in Ron Perlman's voice
                  THIS! TOTALLY THIS! XD

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Me too!

                    My weapon of choice was the Chinese assault rifle. Easy ammo, and awesome.
                    The alien gun was great but even being conservative you run out of ammo. And can't get more.
                    The Tesla cannon? Awesome but impractical.
                    Last edited by Tama; 11-04-2014, 10:23 PM.
                    My Guide to Oblivion

                    "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth prjkt View Post
                      As soon as I read the title I heard it in Ron Perlman's voice
                      So glad I wasn't the only one.
                      PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                      There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Awesome. You're a hero....and you have tomust never leave.

                        The alien gun was great but even being conservative you run out of ammo. And can't get more.
                        Without mods or console commands, that is.

                        For FO3, I had a couple: one that could produce alien power cells given the right materials, and one that standardized alien ammo for Mothership Zeta.

                        For FNV, I made my own damn mod, adding the Firelance back in...
                        Supporting the idiots charged with protecting your personal information.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          After being spoiled by being able to keep playing in 3, I just won't go back to playing NV. Sigh. Even if Odo is in it.
                          My Guide to Oblivion

                          "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Tama View Post
                            After being spoiled by being able to keep playing in 3, I just won't go back to playing NV. Sigh. Even if Odo is in it.
                            The Fallout series has had some pretty big names doing voices,and quite well, probably why I ended up sinking hundreds of hours into the four main games over the years... (1,2,3,NV - haven't tried Brotherhood yet)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth prjkt View Post
                              As soon as I read the title I heard it in Ron Perlman's voice
                              kind of the intent.
                              Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
                              Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

                              Comment

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