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It's Getting Hot in Here... So All the Roads are Closed.....

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  • It's Getting Hot in Here... So All the Roads are Closed.....

    Because the garage on the corner about 3 or 4 doors down from us burst into flame the other day.

    No, I'm not kidding

    http://www.centredaily.com/welcome_p...efighters.html

    I heard the sirens, which isn't unusual, since we're less than a mile from the fire house. You hear that alarm sound and see the trucks rush past once every few days...

    It wasn't until the cop cars started showing up on the street in front of us, and the column of black rubber-and-plastic-scented smoke started wafting past our windows that we realized this was NOT a drill, this was an ACTUAL two-alarmer going off right next door! (The building only survived because it's brick, everything else combustible inside, including 2 SUVs went up)

    Why the suck?

    Because in winter conditions (In Pennsylvania this means "Surface of Hoth") all that water they were dousing on the building soon filled the street and gutter and froze like a brick. Meaning the road was closed.

    This upset/confused the motoring public greatly.

    It's a CITY street!

    And they pay their taxes!

    Therefore, it should be OPEN!!! The fact they CAN'T USE it is SACRILEGE!

    So what if there's a cruiser with flashing lights pulled across both lanes? THat's THEIR street that they GO TO WORK on, and they simply CAN'T or DON'T know of ANY OTHER WAY!!!!

    And of course, since the PD roadblocks went up RIGHT where our block of the street started, masses of confused sheeple began driving through our parking lot, hoping it would somehow get them around the cops...... Of course, when that didn't work, they just sat there, at a cognitive dead end, a metaphysical morass, like a windup toy that's walked itself into a corner of the living room and can think of no other way to get out than to boldly go forward until the walls submit to their will....

    Gold star to the guy who went around BACK of the shop and, noticing the gate was open for one of our tow trucks, DROVE INTO THE IMPOUND.

    Now, a car we don't expect just flying into the impound? For all we know, that sum'bich is packin' heat and looking to do something illegal, so we quickly shut the gate on them.

    They didn't even notice they were now trapped like vermin and just continued driving along until the realized that, a fenced in lot doesn't GO anywhere. They pulled a U-ie and only THEN realized that they'd foolishly moved our golden idol from it's sacred pedestal and sealed themselves in forever.

    Of course, as fate would have it, they were now on the wrong side of a barb wire fence with..

    Drum roll please:

    JOHNNY RUCKUS

    Who was "volunteered" to go over and enquire as to exactly what the H the driver was thinking, and put the fear of God into him a bit before opening the gate and shooing the pest away to end up in someone else's drive.

    Oh, and the reason he pulled in?

    "The road was closed! I didn't know where to turn around!!"

    Can bringing a civilization to it's knees be THIS easy? It can't! It just CAN'T be!!!!

    SEND HELP! Before I begin doing my live-action Cuckoo clock impression again!
    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

  • #2
    Even easier than you think. Stores have 3 days to a week of food. Most people have less then a week of food in their homes. If something happens (like a massive snowstorm) that cuts off the ability to deliver supplies, people will get very desperate within 2 weeks.

    Ah, I have seen this song and dance many times over the centuries (reading history books). It is like watching Rome fall all over again.
    I might be crazy, but I'm not Insane.

    What? You don't play with flamethrowers on the weekends? You are strange.

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    • #3
      And this just keeps repeating itself. First snowflake falls and everybody's running to buy a snow shovel...

      Comment


      • #4
        FEM was astounded by the fact that everyone in town seemingly had to buy a new shovel every snowstorm. I don't see any "single use only" stickers on the things...but maybe they use them to save parking spots (technically that's illegal in Boston, but the mayor suspended that law and said if you can dig it out it's yours).

        We're having "surface of Hoth" weather right now too. I fully expect to see the snow piles up to my window before it starts melting (and tauntauns in the streets ).
        "I am quite confident that I do exist."
        "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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        • #5
          Quoth Dreamstalker View Post
          FEM was astounded by the fact that everyone in town seemingly had to buy a new shovel every snowstorm. I don't see any "single use only" stickers on the things
          Kind of like people who buy an air conditioner at the beginning of summer...only to return it in the fall for a refund. I know people are cheap, but all you have to do it buy it ONCE, and it'll be good for years (maybe even well over a decade). You DO know it's going to get hot again next summer, correct?

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          • #6
            Quoth Argabarga View Post
            "The road was closed! I didn't know where to turn around!!"

            Can bringing a civilization to it's knees be THIS easy? It can't! It just CAN'T be!!!!
            I often wonder how civilization can stand at all. That's why, when I see all those post-apocalyptic shows I'm like "I can believe in the zombies. I can't believe there'd be any humans left without indoor plumbing or Google."

            And thanks so much, I will now have that song stuck in my head all day long.
            Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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            • #7
              Quoth Gilhelmi View Post
              Even easier than you think. Stores have 3 days to a week of food. Most people have less then a week of food in their homes. If something happens (like a massive snowstorm) that cuts off the ability to deliver supplies, people will get very desperate within 2 weeks.

              Ah, I have seen this song and dance many times over the centuries (reading history books). It is like watching Rome fall all over again.
              2 weeks is overly generous.

              People will get very desperate a lot sooner than that.

              Civilization is only two missed meals away from complete anarchy.
              PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

              There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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              • #8
                <Goes into basement. Sees weeks of food and water stored. Smiles.> "Excellent," he says quietly to himself.
                Life's too short to drink cheap beer

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth seigus View Post
                  <Goes into basement. Sees weeks of food and water stored. Smiles.> "Excellent," he says quietly to himself.
                  Note to self: Get map to seigus' place in Idaho.
                  "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                    Note to self: Get map to seigus' place in Idaho.
                    Guess I forgot to mention the dogs and firearms...
                    Life's too short to drink cheap beer

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth seigus View Post
                      Guess I forgot to mention the dogs and firearms...
                      Those tend to go without saying for that part of the country.
                      PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                      There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        There's probably some people who still have supplies left over from the big Y2K scare.

                        Meanwhile, anybody who lives in an area that gets a lot of snow knows they should have more than a few days' worth of food on hand at all times in the winter. Of course, to some people that means beer and Cheetos, but hey, whatever...
                        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                        • #13
                          Neither Bast nor I can continue without modern pharmaceuticals; and we both require controlled substances.

                          Two weeks. That's how long we can last - at maximum - once the pharmaceutical supply is disrupted. Perhaps a little longer, if our pharmacist empties his stocks for his regular customers.

                          Our 'end of civilisation' plan is perhaps a little morbid for discussion.
                          Seshat's self-help guide:
                          1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                          2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                          3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                          4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                          "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                          • #14
                            Hey, I rode my tauntaun to work today!

                            It was mayhem here the last few days because some moronic trucker decided he needed some sleep and decided to pull over on one of the main thoroughfares thru Pittsburgh (a section by my house). Trucker twit must have been real tired and not seen the fire hydrant when he pulled over a curb (as opposed to the parking lot entrance) and took that mother fucker right on out, causing a geyser and flood all over main road (route 51 south for the yinzers). The water took awhile to get shut off, and by then the road for quite a ways rivaled Rockefeller Ice Rink as it is Hoth like here in the burgh and the cops had to close the out bound side off and people were pissed!!! The comments on the FB site of the local news channel were of the "how will I get arooooooooooooooooooooound!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" whines. Listen you whiny twats, people have no water for over 18 hrs and you are pissing about getting thru?? Side roads are a wonder!

                            Oh, and as far as food..let them call for more than an inch of snow and it is dangerous to walk into a store as everyone is stocking up on bread, milk and toilet paper (does everyone get the shits when it snows????) And they are always interviewing store owners who say they are out of shovels and snow blowers...do they throw them away in fits of joy each spring???

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth registerrodeo View Post
                              Oh, and as far as food..let them call for more than an inch of snow and it is dangerous to walk into a store as everyone is stocking up on bread, milk and toilet paper (does everyone get the shits when it snows????)
                              Don't forget the french toast - how else do you explain the bread, milk and eggs

                              Though a friend of mine came up with an answer for the toilet paper - keeping the kiddies amused with making papier mache stuff - it is after all flour and wter based paste and paper
                              EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

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