Help! - What to ask potential housemates?

[Blue Ginger]

Help!

For various reasons I have never had to look for or interview potential housemates before. Reading the various horror stories that have appeared on here over the years, I was hoping for some help.

So far I know I need to figure out if I can put up with them for more than 5 seconds before wanting to strangle them, But how do I ask about drug taking, partying, messiness levels and other traits that might drive a person batty?

I will definitely be asking them about what they would do if they brought a one night stand home but then had to leave early the next morning: a) leave person in the house when they are going out or b) person leaves when they do in the morning. Anyone who answers 'a' is not in the running.

(This is because I had a housemate in London that would leave the one night stand in the house when they left for work. Not fun to discover a naked man in the kitchen hours after said housemate had left for work. )

So pretty please HELP!

[fireheart]

Just be upfront about the questions you want to know.

I'd also be asking for references if you can get any.

I would also be checking to see their employment status. Being unemployed can make people go nuts.

[Soulstealer]

Shame you'll probably have a housemate by September. I'll be moving to london then.

[Jester]

I have no issue with people doing drugs. I do not, however, want the police knocking at my door, or knocking in my door, or arresting me, or confiscating everything I own due to there being illegal narcotics in the house. Therefore, I not only tell potential roommates this, but make it clear to them that if they bring said illegal narcotics into our shared domicile, *I* will call the damn cops myself. Do what you want to outside of our shared space, but if your bring it into my home, I will bring the law down on your head myself.

If you don't want pets in the residence, make that clear. If you don't mind certain pets, make that clear. If you have no problem with pets, but require that any such pets behave a certain way, make that clear.

Kitchen sharing: I make it clear to potential roommates that anything I have in the kitchen is theirs to use, EXCEPT for my best set of knives, which if they use, I will stab them with. I have many other knives I gladly share, just keep out of my good ones. I also make it clear that my spice rack is theirs to use if they want. However, my food is my food, and theirs is theirs. In an emergency, of course they use use the last of my ya milk, but in such instances, they need to replace it. My craft beers and bottles of rum are not so easy to replace, and thus are not included in such things. Should my rules be your rules? No. But you need to not only make your own rules, but to make yourself clear on what they are.

Whateve your position on overnight guests is, make that clear. My philosophy is that we are adults, so overnight guests are fine, but each person is responsible for whatever actions THEIR overnight guests take. Meaning if their guest steals $300 from another roommate's desk, they are responsible for reimbursement. (Yes, this is an actual example from a previous roommate.) When I was looking for a place to live years ago, I was very grateful to one potential housemate when they made it clear that overnight guests would not be permitted. As a single male, I like the occasional overnight guest, so I did not take that room, but I was grateful to that person for being upfront about their position, thus not only avoiding drama, but avoiding putting me in the position for such drama.

References. Not from friends, but from previous landlords.

Smoking. Do they? If so, where do you allow it? My roommate only smokes on the balcony, because my other roommate and I do not smoke, and cannot stand it.

Job. Do they have one? This is usually important.

Where have they lived before. If they've had a lot of residences recently, why?

Will they wax Jester's truck periodically? This is perhaps the most important question.

Partying. Do they? Do you? If so, where is it preferred? For example, I used to live in party places. Then I got tired of them. Now I prefer a quiet place to live, and keep my partying to the bars, never "bringing the bass band home," as it were. I am upfront about this.

As you may have noticed, I think that being upfront about what you want, what you expect, and what you will accept are all very important. That, and waxing my truck.

[ParkingWitch]

Also consider the times of day you are likely to be active. I am a natural night shift person and having to live with a daywalker would not go well.

Would you need to have a roommate on a similar schedule to yours?

[fireheart]

Also I would look at setting up an agreement between you two. Laws on this vary between states, but generally speaking, for share houses, one person is the "head tenant" and others are "sub-tenants". The head tenant is the one who has their name on the lease, other people may or may not. Head tenants can write agreements and have them enforced to some extent.

Write up a rental agreement of sorts that outlines EVERYTHING in writing. Have the new housemate sign this and have copies located in as many places as you can put them. Have another copy with the agency (if they'll let you). It doesn't even need to be written in legalese, just plain English should do it. Conditions obviously need to be common sense ones and also legal, so for instance "I agree to keep the kitchen tidy" is something you could put down, but "I agree to perform sexual favours on Blue Ginger" would obviously not be something you could put down.

I could be wrong on how that relationship works, but I checked this stuff up when I found out that a former friend of mine was not paying rent or contributing to expenses to my partner.

[Blue Ginger]

Thanks for the help so far.

Interviewed one possibility today and it was a definite NO straight away.

So I have advertised on a flat mate finding site that friends have had a lot of luck with.

This is what I put:
'(General description of location and things near by - not sharing, sorry )

About me: I'm a 30 year old girl. I work office hours and prefer to relax after work with a good book or TV, with the occasional dinner out. Weekends are for sleeping in, shopping, spending time with friends or going for mini road trips to visit family and friends. I love to travel and have spent a few years living overseas. I am not a sports person, unless there are cars or motorbikes involved. While I am not a party person, I am happy to have people over for movie nights or dinner and drinks.

About the apartment: The apartment is fully furnished, except for your room. While I already have the big furniture, there is room for any items you wish to have displayed in the shared areas. The lounge balcony looks over a central courtyard with a pool, tennis court, mini gym and lawn area. Your room has a mini balcony that looks over a quiet back street. Internet and phone are $30 a month. Power approx $40 month.

What I'm looking for in a flatmate: - female or gay guy, 25 - 35 years old - generally clean and tidy in shared areas - easy going, respectful, responsible - must be working and able to pay bills - must be willing to be on lease and able to provide references'

Hopefully I get a few better options coming through.

Some things that they will have no choice with, as per the lease, are; no pets, smoking is not allowed inside, all residents must be on the lease if they are staying longer than 2 weeks, anyone caught by body corp/owner/agent/cops with illegal drugs are evicted immediately.

There are a few other things too, but the agent is willing to go through that as soon as I go to them with a possibility. The agent will be doing the reference checks too.

The only reason I have been able to extend the lease is because the owner likes me and my previous housemate & I arranged to paint the whole apartment for the cost of the paint and a slab of beer and bottle of vodka.

[fireheart]

You may want to add "preferred" to the "female/gay guy part" juuuuuust on the off chance that some one has issues with it.

Also, your apartment complex has a pool?!?!?!?! Right, who's gonna apply to be Blue Ginger's housemate?! (sadly I won't fit half that criteria )

[Seanette]

Yeah, I'm outside age bracket (and married), and the "no pets" thing doesn't work for me. No offense to Blue Ginger, but even if I didn't currently have a cat and a bird, I'd want at least one pet. Just isn't home without some little furry/feathered family member.

[Blue Ginger]

If someone has issues with it, they probably aren't someone I can live with. I re-worded it here and there. This was a draft version.

I had to put that in because hopefully it will weed out the homophobic. I have way too many gay friends to want someone that has 'issues' with other people's sex lives.

And yeah, I have a pool. It's a really nice pool and because I am currently unemployed (gah!) I have gotten to enjoy it frequently over the summer, especially when everyone else is at work.

[fireheart]

And yeah, I have a pool. It's a really nice pool and because I am currently unemployed (gah!) I have gotten to enjoy it frequently over the summer, especially when everyone else is at work.

Grrr....*fistshakes*

My unit complex has the sole benefit of being so damn close to EVERYTHING. As in I'm roughly around 5 or so minutes to the train station, around 5 minutes to the local shops and I have around 10 different cuisines to pick from along the main road that runs through my district

[BlaqueKatt]

This is because I had a housemate in London that would leave the one night stand in the house when they left for work. Not fun to discover a naked man in the kitchen hours after said housemate had left for work.

even worse is to discover housemate's "friend" trying to crawl into *your* bed because housemate passed out. Hence why I refused to ever have female housemates(also the stealing of clothing, personal hygiene products, toiletries-yes I had a housemate that bragged the entire time she lived with me she never had to buy clothes or tampons, so it saved her tons on drinking money!)

[Sapphire Silk]

You may want to add "preferred" to the "female/gay guy part" juuuuuust on the off chance that some one has issues with it.

Rules in London may be different, but in the US the fair housing laws make it dicey to discriminate against protected classes. However, gender is not a protected class, and neither is sexual orientation. It's actually legal in most states to advertise for "female" or "male" only, by age, and by smoking status because none of those are protected groups. Race, OTOH, will get you in hot water.

Age really matters to me. When I was in my 20's, I had some folks in their 40's or older respond to my ads for a roommate. I turned them all down. I wanted roommates with similar mindsets and experiences. Now that I'm older, I probably would not rent to someone much younger than me for the same reason. Like Jester, I am way past the party hardy stage of my life.

Yeah, I'm outside age bracket (and married), and the "no pets" thing doesn't work for me. No offense to Blue Ginger, but even if I didn't currently have a cat and a bird, I'd want at least one pet. Just isn't home without some little furry/feathered family member.

When I had roommates, I had pets, a cat usually. Which is why when I advertised for roommates it was always "no pets." I especially didn't want to deal with dogs that might try to hurt my cat. I had one woman look at the house I was renting at the time (I had the lease, but the lease allowed me to sublet) and beg and beg me to let her move in with her dog. She had a hard time with the concept of no pets.

Can't blame her. The rent I was asking was a dream: low rent, flat rate that included all utilities except long distance and Pay per view. I wasn't looking to make money off my roommates, I just wanted simplicity in my life and to not have the phone cut off for non-payment because my roommies didn't pay the bill.

If I were to rent a room in my house again to save money, I would do a criminal background check, a credit check, and get references from previous landlords, plus confirm employment before renting to the person. I've been burned too many times by room mates who were deadbeats.

[MoonCat]

^^ Well, not exactly:

"The federal Fair Housing Act of 1968 and the federal Fair Housing Act Amendments Act of 1988 prohibit discrimination on the basis of the following criteria (called “protected categories”): race or color; religion; national origin; familial status or age—includes families with children under the age of 18 and pregnant women; disability or handicap, or sex.
"

I also found this on the Washington Post website:

"For apartment owners, it is unlawful to discriminate (in print or otherwise) against prospective residents based on race, color, religion, gender, handicap, familial status or national origin. The same restrictions apply to non-owners looking for roommates, said Craig Gurian, an anti-discrimination lawyer who also teaches about housing issues at Fordham University Law School in New York."

Smokers are NOT a protected group. You may forbid smoking on the premises.

Some states have additional laws that refer to groups not referenced in federal law.

These are things that I've had to deal with when taking rental ads from customers.

[Jester]

Like Jester, I am way past the party hardy stage of my life.

I'm not exactly past that stage of my life, as I still not only party hardy, I often put people younger than me to shame. I can throw down, thank you very much, and I often do.

What I do NOT do is bring the party to my place, or live in a party pad. Been there, done that, definitely past THAT stage of my life. But party hardy? Oh, HELL YEAH! I don't live in Key West for the museums!!!

Got a reputation to maintain, ya know!

...families with children under the age of 18...

...familial status...

On this, I have questions. Is the number of prospective tenants so protected? In others words, if I live in a three bedroom apartment, and one bedroom is vacant, is it legal to say we only want one person in that room? I know that neither myself nor Mr. Anti-Social have any desire to live with young children in our place. We are not really set up for that in a number of ways, frankly, and it's just not a good situation for any prospective tenants with young children. Even an adult couple would make this place feel a bit more confined than it already is.

So, while we can't say "no children," can we dictate the number of roommates to fill the opening? (This is all hypothetical; Mr. Fix-It has occupied the third room in our place for a couple years now, after we went through a revolving door of roommates in that place.)

I'm just curious.

And very, very much looking forward to the day I have my own damn place!