Your pooping problems are really not my business

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Ahh, old people. If they aren't scolding me because they think my red converse sneakers are too gaudy for me to wear to work, they're discussing...other things....with me.

In a change from my normal routine, I had to fill HBA items off the truck. I'm stocking stuff in the digestive health aisle when an old woman comes through and grabs a box of Miralax packets.

She asks me how much liquid she should use to mix up the laxative. I look at the package directions and tell her 4 to 8 ounces of liquid.

She asks me how much liquid that is. I estimate enough to fill a juice glass.

She tells me she doesn't have a glass that small, so I suggest filling a larger glass halfway or maybe a bit more.

Then she tells me she went to the doctor or to a hospital and they gave her some stuff and (this is a verbatim quote) "I just about blew out the toilet! That stuff really cleans you out!"




I get that I may be the only person she interacts with today, or this week, or maybe even this entire month, but I so did not need to hear that!

[dalesys]

... "I just about blew out the toilet!...

... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... 0 ... and we have liftoff of the Shitpropelled Oldfart.

[MoonCat]

... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... 0 ... and we have liftoff of the Shitpropelled Oldfart.

And she's using it wrong. Miralax is one of the gentlest laxatives out there. I use it on one of my cats.

[Seshat]

She mentioned that it was stuff she was given at the hospital; not the Miralax.

If the doctors were examining her lower digestive system, then yes, they would have wanted it empty. And yes, they do have 'stuff that really cleans you out'.

[Victory Sabre]

At least she didn't have a blowout standing next to you.

[Buzzard]

At least she didn't have a blowout standing next to you.

Over PA: Cleanup,aisle 5, aisle 6, aisle 7, register 3....

[Catwoman2965]

She mentioned that it was stuff she was given at the hospital; not the Miralax.

If the doctors were examining her lower digestive system, then yes, they would have wanted it empty. And yes, they do have 'stuff that really cleans you out'.

Sure do! BTDT. I joked to a friend having her first colonoscopy, and warned her about the prep "it liquifies everything in your digestive tract, and shoots it out the other end"

[KellyHabersham]

Then she tells me she went to the doctor or to a hospital and they gave her some stuff and (this is a verbatim quote) "I just about blew out the toilet! That stuff really cleans you out!"




I get that I may be the only person she interacts with today, or this week, or maybe even this entire month, but I so did not need to hear that!

I know the feeling.....my mom tends to do that with her......"bathroom problems", so I've finally had to start telling her she's sharing TMI.

[jedimaster91]

Then she tells me she went to the doctor or to a hospital and they gave her some stuff and (this is a verbatim quote) "I just about blew out the toilet! That stuff really cleans you out!"

Ah, yes. The GoLytley which makes you do anything but. It will clean out everything you have ever eaten and are even thinking about eating later. I teased a friend relentlessly when she had her colonoscopy. While I warned her about the.....effects (the word volcano was used somewhere), nothing can really prepare you for it. I had great fun. She....did not.

[Crossbow]

"I just about blew out the toilet!

... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... 0 ... and we have liftoff of the Shitpropelled Oldfart.

What the hell did the hospital give her, sugar free Haribo gummi bears?

[EvilEmpryss]

"How much liquid can one tuchis hold?!?"

[Cecily]

"How much liquid can one tuchis hold?!?"

"No one needs to hear that, MA!!!"

[Ironclad Alibi]

Sure do! BTDT. I joked to a friend having her first colonoscopy, and warned her about the prep "it liquifies everything in your digestive tract, and shoots it out the other end"

I love the stuff they use today. When I had my first colonoscopy I had to clean it out with Fleet enemas. Not fun.

A song about colons.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Irv, if this makes you feel any better (or not) at my store, it seems I'm the one folks will wander up to and discuss stuff of this type.

Had a regular customer the other week (older lady) come by and was chatting w/me while I was checking some dates about an upcoming colonoscopy she was supposed to prep for and how the prep procedures were different from the first one she had.

And believe it or not, it really didn't bother me. I've heard my Dad describe having to have one several years ago and the stuff he had to drink the night before was, in his words, plumb AWFUL! Chalky liquid, something akin to weak Milk of Magnesia.

From what I've heard, the liquid used now is gentler and has a better taste to it and you don't have to drink half a gallon of it either.

Good stuff to know . . . especially as I'm approaching the big 5-0 in a few more years and may have to have one of those tests.

And a few days after that, the customer was back in to shop and I asked about her procedure. She said it went just fine (good to hear, BTW.)

I guess there are just some of us retail workers who look like we aren't bothered by discussing pretty much anything. And, I guess having a Mom who took care of people for years, I've seen quite a bit (and helped her quite a bit over the years as well) so stuff like this doesn't really faze me.

[Estil]

Then she tells me she went to the doctor or to a hospital and they gave her some stuff and (this is a verbatim quote) "I just about blew out the toilet! That stuff really cleans you out!"

PLEASE tell me she didn't say this right before your chow break...