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Words, Words, Words (and other disgusting things that spew forth)

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  • Words, Words, Words (and other disgusting things that spew forth)

    First, a quick one from the other day. An appetizer, if you will:

    I had a guy come through my lineup at Second Job, with his toddler son sitting in the cart. Suddenly, as we're discussing the gentleman's return, his son makes a strange little noise, and then just... vomits. Just lets it pour down over his front from his open mouth, with this confused look on his face. And he couldn't seem to stop. Poor Dad grabbed the plastic bag his returns had been in and held it under his son's chin to try and stem the tide. He was very apologetic, and I put his stuff behind the counter to let him go take his son to the washroom and clean him up.

    I called the floor person to come mop it up, but when I asked if she was okay to handle vomit, she said it would probably trigger her own fountain of shame, so I left her on the till and cleaned it up myself. Good to feel useful, I suppose.


    Now, for the main course. Have any of you ever had a customer just straight-up lie their ass off? Of course you have. But I think this is the first time I've been directly implicated in their pathetic scheme.

    A bit of background: at First Job, we blow up helium balloons. Never latex, only Mylar, and only the balloons that we sell. If someone wants to buy a balloon from, say, one of our other locations, and have it blown up later at our location, they have to have a receipt proving that they bought it at one of our stores. It's not a money thing, since we'd save money charging the full price for just helium sans balloon - I believe it's actually a liability issue. Probably something to do with explosions.

    Anyway, about a week ago I got called into the office by the manager, and she proceeded to ask me if I had told somebody that we would make an exception and allow her to blow up her own balloons. Of course I said no. The rules are very clear, and I'm actually incredibly strict about store policy, especially with customers. Furthermore, I hadn't had any customers ask me about that in at least a month. She believed me, but I called the other assistant manager, who'd been the one to talk to this lady, to get the story first-hand.

    Apparently Madame Liar had come in with her own balloons, and when she asked to blow them up, the cashier, not being a complete twit, said no. So Madame went and found the assistant manager, S, and said that 'the young guy' who works here had said that 'he'd make an exception for me'. Now, I am the only man working at that location, and I am relatively young. So S goes, "Who, L?" and the lady's like, "Yes! L! He said he'd make an exception for me!" S just tells her that we can't do that, it's against policy, and the lady huffs and puffs and finally makes her grand exit.

    After telling me all this, S goes, "So the weird thing is, as soon as I asked if it was you, I realized that you haven't even been wearing your name tag lately."

    Me: "Oh, yeah. No, it broke months ago. There's no way she'd have a clue what my name was."

    Obviously this lady had spotted me in the store at some point, and decided that I would become unknowingly complicit in her plan, without any actual knowledge of my name or my character. Well done, you silly knob.

  • #2
    At least you had some good proof the bitch was lying. Where I work the residents word is treated as gospel and we workers are lying, even if we have proof at least part of their story is pure garbage...

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    • #3
      Actually I think she just settled on "the young man" on the assumption that there had to be a younger guy working there at some point (probably saw some male employees around). When the manager mentioned a name she pounced on it. Still didn't work. What a dingbat.
      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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      • #4
        MoonCat, yeah, she probably just spotted me at a distance during a previous visit. I mean, obviously she'd been there before, to know that we blew up balloons etc. I wonder if she'll ever risk coming back and running into me for real?

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        • #5
          Eh, she might not have even seen you, just figured there had to be at least one guy working for the store.

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