I'm not farting rainbows because my life was just potentially threatened

[Food Lady]

So the shopping center we're attached to had a security threat, as in there were guns involved. We weren't told why at first, but the whole front end was herded to the fire exit as far from the mall entrance as possible, in case we had to leave the building. I knew immediately, though, that it was probably guns because gas leak means we leave the building and go faaaaar away and with a bomb threat, why would we stay in the building?

So I had the fight-or-flight response going while my coworkers joked. I know they've never dealt with this kind of stuff; they're teens in a small Wisconsin town. But I am from southern California and have been robbed 3 times. I know how bad it can get. Anyway, within 5 minutes there's an arrest and we have to go back to work. No, I do not know why there were customers still in the store needing to be checked out after that, and there was a huge rush.

So on to my actual story. I had a woman and her adult daughter, who was actually the one buying stuff. I guess they didn't know what happened because the mom was super-cheerful, but I was still kind of freaked out a bit and trying to get back to normal. I didn't have the energy to be Disney-cheerful at that point. I greeted them and when she asked how I was, I wanted to say "Well, I'm glad we're still alive!" but that would be weird, so I answered, "OK." I immediately asked as cheerfully as I could if they had any of the special discounts or such, as a way in to talking about the credit app. But I couldn't get to that because then the mom, probably wanting to open discussion about why I was just ok, asked if I was going to be going home soon. I answered that I had an hour to go. I went on with the transaction and the daughter was using the card reader when the mom walked around in front of my counter, out of my sight. Now, let me point out that through all of this the daughter was supposed to be my customer, not the mom, but the mom kept dominating the conversation. The daughter didn't really say anything. So after walking around the counter, just as we were about finished, the mom said from behind my screen, "Well, I hope you had a good day." I wished them a good day as cheerfully as I could.

So why does this bug me? Because even though it should've been clear I didn't want to spill my guts about the day I was having, she kept pushing the small talk. I notice this junk a lot more here than I ever did on the west coast. If I want you to know how I feel, I will tell you. I've never been accused of not being blunt, trust me.

[MoonCat]

I just DO NOT GET why some people make an issue of this. As long as the person checking me out is polite and does her/his job correctly, I don't need to know details of how they're feeling!

[Blue Ginger]

I just DO NOT GET why some people make an issue of this. As long as the person checking me out is polite and does her/his job correctly, I don't need to know details of how they're feeling!

And I don't have the need to tell them how I'm feeling.

Now if the staff member is clearly upset because they have just served a raging ass-hat before me, I will say something about hoping that the rest of their day goes better. But I don't expect them to be farting rainbows as soon as that person has gone.

[AccountingDrone]

I just DO NOT GET why some people make an issue of this. As long as the person checking me out is polite and does her/his job correctly, I don't need to know details of how they're feeling!

Exactly! I want correct polite service. I don't need a smile, or perkitude, functional is just fine. I know people have to go to work feeling like crap, or with personal problems of their own. Lord knows I have.

[RootedPhoenix]

I'm glad you're okay, Food Lady. What a scary thing to go through.

[minkysmom]

I never understood those customers who aren't okay with you being okay... it's my job to be your new bff.

[Silent-Hunter]

Honestly, I wonder if she was just worried about you. I know I've been checked out by cashiers who didn't seem happy, and even though I don't personally know them, I still hate seeing people have a bad day. I usually don't say anything though.

[gerund]

I used to work behind a counter. I was never threatened, so I don't know what that is like, but I have had crap days and good days. I know you must be cheerful all the time and sometimes that is just not possible.

So when I am the customer I try to keep the chat light and cheerful and very shallow. If I can think of something funny to say I'll say it and see if I get a smile. If I don't I just shut down and continue my transaction.

For instance: the other day the supermarket had some specials on frozen vegetables. They were half price, so I got a heap of them as I have a chest freezer at home. When the checkout lady started putting them through I said "Sorry for the cold hands, but they were on special." That made her look at the price, and she agreed with me that it was a good price. Then we chatted about the weather, and that I would have to carry all these bags up the stairs. When I left she was smiling.

*I* helped her smile, and not by saying "WHY DON'T YOU SMILE?"

And that makes me happy.

[raudf]

I think it would be prudent to check the situation before asking if something is wrong. Rattled cashier might get a, "I notice that everyone seems a bit nervous, did something happen before I came in?," sympathy, a "I'm glad that no one got hurt!" and dropping the topic. Been there, done that on both sides of the register. I was just glad the customer was concerned for ME (which happened when I had a nose bleed at a register) than wanting me to smile!

If the cashier was sad, I'd try a smile myself and if that didn't work, a look of sympathy and say NOTHING. Strangely, I wind up with the reason for the sorrow, offer the appropriate sympathy/response, and DROP IT.

Angry. Dear gods, I'll make this transaction as quick as I can. Anger is none of my business when it's not directed at me. I don't even try to smile at the cashier. I just go into neutral/polite and move as quickly as I can out. As far as I'm concerned, the cashier is having a bad day and I'd rather not accidentally add to it.

[Food Lady]

Honestly, I wonder if she was just worried about you. I know I've been checked out by cashiers who didn't seem happy, and even though I don't personally know them, I still hate seeing people have a bad day. I usually don't say anything though.

It probably was the case, but I think your method is right. Saying something to someone you don't know makes it akward and the cashier feels invaded. So thank you for having the class to not make it harder for him/her.

Mooncat, it has to be a midwest thing. In CA I never experienced this. People there mostly mind their own.

raudf, I don't mind someone's concern, but like you they should know when to drop it. You handle it very well and I like that you don't make the anger be about you. That shows you have maturity and aren't self-centered. My customers are the opposite.

Phoenix, I've been through 3 robberies, one at gunpoint, but one never gets used to this stuff, really. I'm very calm and methodical on the outside in an emergency, but inside I just want to run away. We should've evacuated the customers, but instead we walked back up front to a huge rush of people. Fail.

[RealUnimportant]

It's exactly this kind of passive-aggressive "why aren't you happy" bullshit that caused me to change my default answer to "good enough." That's all they need to know, and unless they're regular enough for us to get chatty that's as much as they'll ever get!

[Jay 2K Winger]

Them: "What happened to service with a smile?"
J2K: (deadpan) "I am smiling." :-|

[Agent Paperclip]

My go to response is, "I'm good, how are you doing today?" and just let them talk about themselves and do the customary nod and "huhuh" every so often and just zone out while scanning items

I use to be honest with customers when they asked how I was doing and I swear if it was anything negative like "Ok" or "I've been better." then they act like they need to be my personal savior and/or therapist

[notalwaysright]

I've never thought this area was super cheery/chatty, but I was talking to a girl who went to school on the East Coast and she says we're chattier here than there. So I guess on the chatty scale, it goes Midwest, West, East? I know my step brother almost goes crazy when he visits his in-laws in Montana. Says it takes 15 minutes for one person to buy a regular drip coffee, because they talk so much. I chat with customers at my work, but I like to think I can tell if they just want me to STFU. That's totally fair, I won't small talk them to death if they seem like they don't want it. However pointedly ignoring me while messing with their phone is a bit rude, I do require some interaction... I will ask how much yardage they want TWICE, and if they don't confirm I will not cut.

With most cashiers, like at a grocery store, it's really rare I would notice their mood. And I answer "how're you doing?" with "I'm okay" and I make eye contact. (I tend to want to go straight to the card swipy-thing) I don't smile big or anything, I just make sure to acknowledge them, and say thanks when they give me my keys back after they scan the loyalty card. I feel like that's a pretty normal transaction. Not super mean or chatty.

[Food Lady]

I usually am chatty; it's a defense mechanism, quite frankly. It deterrs any offense and keeps them from nosing into my business, since anything I say about me I don't mind people knowing. I just always have trouble those odd moments when something has just happened a few minutes before to tick me off. Even so, I guess I'll have to say, "I'm ok, how are you?" Then I'll be more in line with the culture here. Need to practice that.