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  • That Escalated Quickly

    Three days in, that's all it took for me to find my first faked permit. And boy was it easy. It's August, in case you've been hibernating or detained in a foreign country for the last year or so... and that means all of last semester's permits expired on "8-25"

    Now, there's never really a good time to commit the crime of forgery, but, there's certainly an optimal time to attempt it so when you inevitably get caught, we can at least give you a high-five and a gold star for your coat lapel, but, when you pick the WORST time of year to do it, and then fail miserably, well, tow for effort, Junior.

    See, when you've got a permit that ends on, say "1-30" or "2-25" you've got a lot of leeway, that "1" can be made into almost any other of our base-ten arabic numbers, like how on a digital clock, the "1" lights up as at least part of EVERY other combination including itself.

    But, flip that around, when you've got an "8", you are STUCK with "8", and only "8". Every part of that hypothetical LED is lit up, you cannot ADD to it, you cannot subtract from it (without it being very very obvious) so this is the absolute LEAST productive time to just whip out the ol' sharpie and draw a "9" DIRECTLY ON TOP of the "8" resulting in a black, swirly, jumble-emitting splotch that looks like how two interlocked letters on a malfunctioning typewriter page used to appear, or perhaps the remnants of that last dragonfly I clobbered with my windshield on the Turnpike (and trust me, that sucker was big enough that it had it's own coach seating section!)

    Naturally, you didn't survive your first workday field test with that permit.

    And you, good Sir, YOU, represent the future class that will be CARING for me in my infirm years when I can no longer swallow without assistance? Heh. No thanks, I'll just choke on that footlong sub sandwich myself right now... save you the trouble, I can at least get my choice of toppings....
    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

  • #2
    Quoth Argabarga View Post
    or perhaps the remnants of that last dragonfly I clobbered with my windshield on the Turnpike (and trust me, that sucker was big enough that it had it's own coach seating section!)
    O/T, but I've heard that when the Commonwealth Air Training Program was at work in Northern Ontario (during WW2), some mechanics were scheduled to change an engine on a Mosquito - and only after they hauled it into the hangar to work on it did they realize that it was the wrong one. Unlike the one they were SUPPOSED to work on, this one had NOT come out of a DeHaviland factory.
    Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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    • #3
      Quoth wolfie View Post
      ... this one had NOT come out of a De Havilland factory.
      ... but from the swamp outside the Toronto De Havilland factory.
      I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
      Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
      Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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      • #4
        Quoth Argabarga View Post
        I can at least get my choice of toppings....
        That's good!
        The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
        Last edited by Mr Hero; 08-29-2015, 06:16 AM.
        To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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        • #5
          Quoth Mr Hero View Post
          That's good!
          The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
          *blank stare and awkward pause*

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          • #6
            Quoth DiRF View Post
            *blank stare and awkward pause*
            ...That's bad.
            PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

            There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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            • #7
              Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
              ...That's bad.
              "Can I go now?"

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              • #8
                Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                ...That's bad.
                Can I go now?
                Low lie the Fields of Athenry/ Where once we watched the small free birds fly/ Our love was on the wing/ we had dreams and songs to sing/ It's so lonely around the Fields of Athenry

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                • #9
                  Epic classic Simpsons FTW.
                  "I try to be curious about everything, even things that don't interest me." -Alex Trebek

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                  • #10
                    Don't worry. You only have to tow that guy for a few months. He'll flunk out by Dec.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Shyla View Post
                      Don't worry. You only have to tow that guy for a few months. He'll flunk out by Dec.
                      ...or not be able to afford the next semester.

                      Argabarga has said that tow truck drivers never get tired of towing the same car over and over.
                      This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                      I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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