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general bank holiday crud

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  • general bank holiday crud

    Nothing real bad, just generic wth stuff. Such as:

    I have a call flow, it is there to make the call go more smoothly and quickly. Cooperate, please, you'll get out of here faster and get better service. Go ahead and give me your name when I ask for it instead of launching into what you need me to do with your credit card. Let me have your number when I ask so I can look you up. Do NOT act all impatient about it, then imply I am stupid or don't listen to your needs.

    Yes, you were on hold for 3! whole! minutes! Poor baby. Do not complain to me about the hold time when they are normally 10-20 and I can't fix it anyway. Never mind we all know you were counting in Customer Standard Time.

    Do not refuse to verify with me. Your account security is a job requirement, and I have rent. I am not getting fired because you are a lazy bastard. And yes, I WILL boot you to our suspicious caller department, after 3 refusals to verify, in 2 of which I was cussed at. You can sit on hold with them for 40 minutes and verify anyway. Happy Labor Day.

    Do not call the credit card department and complain when we tell you we can't do anything with your bank account. Yes it's in the same bank, no we can't activate your debit card or any other damn thing to do with your bank account. It's a security thing. You could perfectly well have dialed the bank account department instead of me. That number is on the back of the debit card.

    Yes, we are open. We're open 24/7, says so on back of your credit card. If you can't read well enough to tell that, how did you read the phone number? And if you are that stupid, please close your account, you can't handle having a credit card.

    When I pause in conversation for 5 seconds to type in something, do NOT start with the "HELLLOOOOOO!! are you still THERE?" crap. Yes, I am, I am typing in the note you asked me to put on your account just now. You can hear me typing over my mic. Being rude and condescending will not get you anywhere.

  • #2
    Quoth XRogue View Post
    Go ahead and give me your name when I ask for it instead of launching into what you need me to do with your credit card.
    Unfortunately you'd be fired if you did what you REALLY need to do with their credit card. Never mind the fact that it's physically impossible, considering you're on the phone with them rather than being in the same room.
    Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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    • #3
      Quoth XRogue View Post

      Do not refuse to verify with me. Your account security is a job requirement, and I have rent. I am not getting fired because you are a lazy bastard. And yes, I WILL boot you to our suspicious caller department, after 3 refusals to verify, in 2 of which I was cussed at. You can sit on hold with them for 40 minutes and verify anyway. Happy Labor Day.

      Do not call the credit card department and complain when we tell you we can't do anything with your bank account. Yes it's in the same bank, no we can't activate your debit card or any other damn thing to do with your bank account. It's a security thing. You could perfectly well have dialed the bank account department instead of me. That number is on the back of the debit card.
      I used to love flagging accounts and/or transferring them to Fraud Suspicious Caller. You want to be an asshole and give me a hard time for doing my job? Fuck you. If you thought I was asking you stupid questions (like your name?!), you're going to love talking to Fraud.

      I used to get the same complaints about not being able to service deposit accounts...or mortgages, or business accounts, or personal loans. People do not understand that you're a subject matter expert in this particular department. As you mentioned, it's also a huge security issue. There are federal regulations governing each of these types of accounts, and a lot of training is required to be knowledgeable and competent. I guess some people prefer the "jack of all trades, master of none" mentality.
      Thank you for calling Card Services, how may I take your abuse today? ~Headset Hellion

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      • #4
        It could be worse. Was at my local bank today to make a deposit, only one teller working inside as the others were dealing with a drop off of cash from the armored car companies. Stack of hundreds as long as your forearm, no security at all in sight. They had a relieved look when they saw me, they know I carry a gun and would watch out for them while I was in there.

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        • #5
          I really hate the impatient ones. First, don't whine about how long you were waiting. The customer after you is probably still waiting, and--news flash--everybody can't be first in line. Second, when I ask for your name, don't say "You have it there." I have A name on the account, I need to verify that it's YOUR name.
          When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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          • #6
            When I had to re-book a cancelled flight, I called the airline and had a 1½ hour wait. The system offered to call me back when a representative was ready. I didn't complain about the wait when the airline called me back.

            That wasn't the last complaint I had with that airline. At least they got rid of the CEO recently.
            This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

            I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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