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  • The Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Interview

    A bit of background: I am in my senior year of a Bachelor's Degree in Social Work (BSW). Half the year is spent in class, and half the year is to be spent in my senior internship.

    It's always been my dream to intern with the county department of social services (DSS), particularly in child protective services (CPS). In a pinch, I'd accept adult protective services (APS). I'll do either so long as it gets my foot in the door, and then my plan is to shine and the best goddamn social worker they've ever seen so I'll get hired right off the bat from my internship.

    No. That won't be happening.

    This morning I went for my internship interview at DSS. The first sign of trouble was that he was visibly bored while I was answering the questions, and did not seem pleased with the answers I was giving. He told me that I lacked depth and compassion.

    So I gave him more depth. That was when I was told that I was "offputting." Apparently there is a way to convey depth, particularly when it comes to your reasons for wanting to be in social work, but I did not know how to convey it without seeming weird, creepy, and annoying -- as those were the definitions I received for "offputting" when I later polled my friends as to what the hell that might mean.

    So I lack depth and compassion and I'm offputting. Then he made the suggestion that I might want to consider a nearby, more rural county because those counties tend to have lower standards. The urban county where I live requires you to bring your A game.

    And in any case, the urban county does not hire BSW's. To get a job here, you either need your master's degree or you need equivalent service.

    So, I lack depth and compassion, I'm offputting, I might want to consider a nearby county with lower standards, and the county where I live won't be hiring me anyway even if I do manage to somehow, through some miracle, land an internship here.

    I bombed this interview, apparently. I bombed it so badly that it left a crater. Now mind you, these criticisms were delivered constructively, and the interviewer did make it appear as though he would still attempt to pass me up the chain. However, to be informed that you are shallow, uncaring, and that you are also weird, creepy, and annoying are personality defects that cannot be readily overcome. Plus, if you do manage to fake it such that people overlook your defective personality, those people tend to become very upset when they realize they've been fooled.

    Lastly, there's this little issue. I'd spoken with the interviewer previously and was told that one possible pitfall for CPS is that it requires extensive pretraining that, taken together with all my other obligations, would commit me to something or other for about ninety hours a week for the full month the pretraining runs. However, it's only offered in this part of the state once every four months. Otherwise, it's offered in the middle of the state or in the eastern part of the state, a drive of anywhere between three to eight hours from where I am. APS does not require it, but APS already has qualified master's degree interns and doesn't need anyone. CPS needs interns, but we've already established that I'm too hopeless to bother. I suppose I could look at all of this in a positive light and then ace my next interview with sheer determination, spunk, and pluck. The problem with that, though, is the way that only happens in the movies and on TV. In real life, if you blow your first chance you don't get another. The first chance is how they determine whether or not to give you a second chance, in fact.

    I'm really beginning to believe that I have a few too many personality defects to keep trying. I was too stupid to keep my job at the Elongated Hexagon Inn, my current boss at the Dumpsterfire Inn likes to remind me that there were reasons I was fired from there whenever I disagree with her, and now today I was told I need to consider applying someplace where the standards are lower.

    My self-worth has really taken a hit here, and I don't see any real evidence that the way I feel about myself now is not valid. I don't fit in. People do not like me. I have a nasty personality. There are a great many things wrong with me.

    Perhaps too many.
    Last edited by Antisocial_Worker; 10-15-2015, 07:09 AM.
    Drive it like it's a county car.

  • #2
    I need you to do me a favor.

    I need you to pretend that this post was written by someone else, and that you have been assigned to them as a social worker.

    What do you see? Someone who is depressed? Someone who has been beaten down? Someone who needs not just your help, but your sympathy?

    There may indeed be many things wrong with you. There are many things wrong with me. There are many things wrong with everyone you will ever meet.

    You are not alone. People care about you.

    There is a good chance that the "nearby rural county" your interviewer mentioned needs you far more than the county you're in. (Also, your interviewer sounds like he has a few 'personality defects' of his own.) Your bad experiences give you an added insight into the way your future clients will feel, and what they will need.

    I've been where you are now emotionally. You CAN get through this. You CAN reach your dream. It may not be by the means you expected, but you CAN do it.

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    • #3
      What a d-bag. A good boss, or anybody with a shred of professionalism, doesn't tell someone apply to someplace with "lower standards." That's insulting and potentially damaging for a company in a country where people sue over anything and nothing. The proper business way to say that (if he felt the need to say anything at all) would be "I think you'd be a better fit at A or B county."

      Consider it a lucky escape. He showed you what his department is like before you were dependent on them for your livelihood. Do you really want to work for a boss who thinks it is ok to insult subordinates? I know you've been there a lot, but it isn't how a good manager operates.
      "I try to be curious about everything, even things that don't interest me." -Alex Trebek

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      • #4
        You lack compassion. You...lack compassion. YOU. You're Antisocial_Worker, right? The most compassionate person I've seen in a long time. Someone who can't look away. I laughed out loud when I read that bullshit.

        The guys sounds like he had already done a bunch of interviews and was bored and tired and took it out on you. Which is no excuse.

        Someone out there needs you. And maybe WishfulSpirit is right, maybe it is someone in this other rural county. Not because they have lower standards, but because that's where you're needed most.
        https://www.facebook.com/authorpatriciacorrell/

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        • #5
          I agree with the others that the problem is with the interviewer and not with you. It can't hurt to check out this other county. Also, how hard is it to get certification in another state? I know they're always looking for teachers and medical personnel in the rural areas of Alaska. I don't imagine they're overflowing with social workers either. Other states may have the same problems.
          Question authority, but raise your hand first. -Alan M. Bershowitz

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          • #6
            I agree with WishfulSpirit. You dodged a bullet! A boss who behaves like that can be a nightmare to work for.
            In this case I see it more as a personality conflict. That guy didn't like you on a personal level and that translated to lack of depth and compassion, but only for him. His behaviour has nothing to do with you, but everything with him.

            If only I could reach through the interwebs, grab you, hug you, and tell you that you are a great guy with many excellent traits!
            No trees were killed in the posting of this message.

            However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

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            • #7
              I must agree. He was unwilling to even give you a chance and lashed out at you. Not my idea of an ideal person to work for anyway.
              Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

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              • #8
                "Off-putting", "lacking depth and compassion", "weird, creepy, and annoying"...I've read your posts for many years, and those phrases do NOT describe you; they're pretty much the exact opposite, actually. They do describe the interviewer, though. Perhaps he should work for a movie theater; he's got the whole "projection" thing down pat!

                You did dodge a bullet there. If he's that rude and insulting in the interview, what would he be like to work for?!
                Last edited by XCashier; 10-16-2015, 01:43 AM.
                I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                My LiveJournal
                A page we can all agree with!

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                • #9
                  Yeah something was wrong with that guy and not you. I don't like rude interviewers. I've interviewed for a job for the govt and they were extremely rude. I was bummed out but then I thought, would I like to work for rude bosses?? No way, been there done that!. Sorry they were mean to you.
                  Can't reason with the unreasonable.
                  The only thing worse than not getting hired is getting hired.

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                  • #10
                    Antisocial_Worker:

                    Let me tell you a little about myself. Over my near 39 years on this planet, I've had self-esteem issues, and developed some cynicism and sarcasm, somewhat as coping mechanisms, somewhat because they've served me well. I recently learned of a "bias test" that I'm going to take that apparently makes everybody feel bad (I think it's called the IAT or something). I sometimes have a distrust of people's motives.

                    Yet, to a point, I still consider myself compassionate. Others may not see me that way, but I do. I think the important thing here is that you have to be comfortable with your level of compassion, and be effective with it.

                    Did the guy you interviewed with tell you why he didn't think you were compassionate enough? It's possible that he's looking for "a unicorn" (i.e. an "ideal" candidate that doesn't exist), or just doesn't want to hire someone in the first place. What I think he (the interviewer) fails to realize or refuses to acknowledge, is that compassion can manifest itself in different ways.

                    And remember, interviewers can just make up reasons why they don't hire you. He might not have liked the color of your outfit, or how you did your hair, or your body language.

                    Personally, he sounds like the one with the problem -- not you. Though it may be a good idea to at least look into the other nearby county, because as someone stated, they may need you more. And it may be possible that it's a "stepping stone" opportunity.

                    Remember the old proverb: "The journey of a thousand miles starts with a first step." The smaller county may be your "first step" to the larger county where you WANT to work.

                    Also, how much longer would it take you to get a Masters degree? I mean, after this training thing, couldn't you work and get a Masters? Or would the hours be too great?
                    Last edited by mjr; 10-16-2015, 11:40 AM.
                    Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

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                    • #11
                      My ex-husband's cousin ran into a similar problem with no one wanting to hire BSW and everywhere wanting a master's. She gave up and now sells insurance.

                      I actually tried helping with her job search(she turned down every ad I found because "they don't pay enough, and weren't state jobs" ), but I can tell you who DOES hire BSWs-Hospitals and non-profit orgs, she did her internship at a hospital, and the non-profits I found that were looking for help were for at-risk* children.

                      So don't give up, sometimes you have to broaden your scope a bit so you can get experience and narrow it later.

                      *kids with autism and kids with anger problems that the parents were *this close* to requesting foster care before the NP stepped in.
                      Honestly.... the image of that in my head made me go "AWESOME!"..... and then I remembered I am terribly strange.-Red dazes

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                      • #12
                        Ugh, I have definitely had moments when I was feeling like this... please, don't give up!

                        Honestly, that kind of criticism, even if framed in a 'constructive' way, seems to ME to indicate that the two of you didn't click. At all. Sometimes personalities don't mesh well and, well, he can't say something like 'I don't like you because you remind me of my ex-wife.' Or even, 'something about you rubs me the wrong way.' That's not something that can be helped and not something you should take to heart.

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                        • #13
                          Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I really don't know what else to say beyond that. Hearing all of that, to my face, was a real body blow to me. I've had a really bad couple of days since.
                          Drive it like it's a county car.

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                          • #14
                            *hands cookies and ice cream over to Antisocial_Worker*

                            I once had an interview with a guy that turned out to be more like a job offer in disguise. I was to work on his company website in the basement of his carpet business. Not to mention that the interview was held there, and I didn't feel comfortable, to say the least.

                            At least the guy showed you his true colours. Now imagine working for him....
                            cindybubbles (👧 ❤️ 🎂 )

                            Enter Cindyland here!

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                            • #15
                              Have you talked to your professors about what happened, and if so, what did they think?
                              "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid" Redd Foxx as Al Royal - The Royal Family - Pilot Episode - 1991.

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