Crazy Mom

[Kanalah]

It's Fall Break at the school this week, this happened yesterday.

I was doing my thing, walking around the lunchroom making sure everyone's okay and that anyone who wants condiments has them. There's a couple of moms sitting there talking while their kids eat lunch at the same table. I walk over to check on them, because they're sitting outside of the normal lunch area and I want to make sure that I don't forget them.

I walk up to the table and ask if everyone's having a good day and if they need anything. Suddenly one of the moms just explodes.
Mom: "What do you think you're doing?!"
Me: "Umm, asking if they need anything?"
Mom: "Don't you DARE speak to my son. You don't need to talk to him! You're just the help and you never need to speak to him!"
Me: "It's my job ma'am, I have to check on everyone..."
Mom: "No! You don't ever speak to my son. I will have you fired if you talk to my son again!"
Me (totally at a loss and beginning to have flashbacks to my abusive childhood) "Sorry ma'am, it won't happen again."
Mom: "See that it doesn't."

Then she continues talking to the other mom like nothing happened. Other mom and the kids look mortified. I slink away to the other side of the room.

Yeah it messed me up, I was in tears as I was leaving and I couldn't eat or sleep until 2am. Damn childhood flashbacks.

[eltf177]

Management DEFINITELY needs to get involved here and tell Paranoid Mom that talking to her child IS your business and another temper-tantrum like that gets her a perma-ban!

[raudf]

Don't you wish you could politely tell people like that off? I mean, "Ma'am, it's my job to speak to your child and make sure his wishes are properly followed. That is what you pay for, after all. If you do not wish for us to speak to him, may I recommend home schooling him, yourself, as any other option requires the boy to interact with people of my class."

I'm trying to figure out why she flipped out over this. I give up. I bet she flips out at the wait staff at restaurants who are coming to check if he needs refills! I also bet she'll be hovering around his grown ass when he starts college, making sure none of the "lesser staff" talks to him.

Wish someone had asked if we'd needed anything at our schools when I was a kid. Would have saved me a headache and a half because I'd forget the spoon or mayo...

[notalwaysright]

I hope when you're calm you can talk to your boss about this. You just got screamed at and demeaned for doing your job, that's not okay. This must be some kind of private school? So there's money involved... Which might give some lowlifes delusions of grandeur.

On a side note, neither of my parents ever came to eat lunch with me, didn't even consider it. Is that normal for schools now, or maybe boarding schools? I mean, not one school I attended even had an official lunch room.

[raudf]

My public school district allows it, including prices for adults to eat with their kids. It's for those parents whose schedules are so crazy that this at least gives them one meal with their kids. At least that is what we were told the first year my son started there.

[flyonthewall]

Erm, teachers aren't the "help", they are high contributing members of society who are educating the future of our country.

IMO, this situation needs to be taken to administration. Maybe she shouldn't be allowed to eat lunch there anymore, she's being disruptive and detrimental to the wellbeing of ALL the children. I wouldn't want my kid near that lady.

[Kanalah]

It's a small private school that's run by a church. Our lunchroom is actually in a carpeted multi-use room. We serve the kids hot lunch, make sure that they have whatever condiments they'd like, get drinks and refills, clean up any spills/messes, and gather up their trash to throw it away. Basically it's like a mini restaurant inside the school.

Most parents love us, because we really do care about the kids. Some parents just feel that because this is a private school that we should all just do whatever they want and spoil little precious.

It took me a year for one mom to understand that no I was not "picking on" her son when I was asking him to please eat his lunch instead of throwing it all away (except for the dessert, of course)

There's really not a lot I can do, as the principal caters to the parents. I was attacked by a child my first year of working there (kicked, punched and spit on) and nothing was done about it. She didn't even talk to the child's parents about what happened. Luckily one of my fellow teachers did.

[redsox33413]

Honestly, I would bring it up to all the other teachers and the administration. That is HIGHLY abnormal behavior for ANY adult, and a HUGE RED FLAG. Approach it like this: I'm sorry to bug you all, but something very odd happened today and I wanted to alert everyone to it to be on the SAFE side. I would feel awful if anyone else's interaction with this individual resulted in something drastic. Then, explain the whole situation and your concerns over the safety of not only the staff, but other students. If she would lash out like that at someone for no reason, what would she do to a child that approached their table? Make sure you also mention how the other parent and child at that table reacted. Suggest a solution to the problem, such as perhaps a higher up could handle any interactions with her to dissuade any future outbursts, or perhaps an admin person could meet with this "mother" and address the concerns from a "is everything ok with you at home?' standpoint... Maybe that will be enough to jerk mommy back into reality and make her realize she acted like a fool and set a poor example for the children around her and exposed them to harmful behaviors.
Just my two cents, though.

[Rosco the Iroc]

No mam I was talking to you but maybe I should talk to the one who's not acting like a child and see how's he's doing.

[MoonCat]

This has me steaming. Literally, I can feel my temp going up!

That bitch had no right to speak to you that way! You're doing the job you're paid to do and yes, you DO have the right to talk to her son. You are NOT "the help." She is NOT the person who instructs you on how to do your job. Who the fuck is this twat, the queen of everything? I think not.

I know you haven't had much success before with complaints, but I urge you to speak to your boss about this and make him or her aware that this person not only yelled at you, she also insulted you and interfered with the performance of your job. She's a loose cannon. I hate to think what will happen if someone ever has to stop her kid from doing something dangerous, and that's very likely because she's setting him up to think he's ultra-special.

[Android Kaeli]

I hate to think what will happen if someone ever has to stop her kid from doing something dangerous, and that's very likely because she's setting him up to think he's ultra-special.

I did that once when I was working for Taco Hell too many moons ago. The location I had been working at had, like some Taco Hells, the metal divider things that let the line snake from the register to almost the door. Some of the younger kids, like seven and younger, thought it would be fun to swing from those, I asked them not to because they might get hurt.

The last time I did that, I got yelled at by the mother who told me that it's HER child and that I shouldn't tell HER child to stop doing something. Later I got yelled at by one of the shift leads because the mother decided to complain about it, so I stopped telling kids to not to swing anymore. Because of this I ignore any kid that is doing something dangerous because, hey, not my child, not my problem.

[Argus]

Later I got yelled at by one of the shift leads because the mother decided to complain about it, so I stopped telling kids to not to swing anymore.

Did you get that in writing? (Although since that story ends there, it clearly didn't matter one way or the other.)

[Chazzie]

Not to be funny, but this brought up memories of an episode of Malcolm in the middle.

Neighbor: I will deal with the help the way I want to!
Lois: He is not The Help! He’s not a servant or a slave, he’s a professional! He’s a person with a skill, a skill you do not have, which is why you hired him!

Remember, you were in the right and you didn't do anything wrong. I don't know what on earth was wrong with the woman who spoke to you that way. I'm glad the rest of her group looked ashamed of her, and I hope she noticed.

[raudf]

The last time I did that, I got yelled at by the mother who told me that it's HER child and that I shouldn't tell HER child to stop doing something. Later I got yelled at by one of the shift leads because the mother decided to complain about it, so I stopped telling kids to not to swing anymore. Because of this I ignore any kid that is doing something dangerous because, hey, not my child, not my problem.

I had this happen as a den leader, while we were on a trip to a crystal mine and had to go into the gift shop. The boy had his hands all over all the merch, some of which was upwards of a hundred dollars. I told the boys (in general) to keep their hands off the stuff and his mother got huffy and said, "I'm here, I'll tell him what to do." I simply pointed at the sign at the register that says, "You break it, you bought it," and said, "If he breaks something, it's now your responsibility. He was told by LEADERSHIP, in the form of ME, to not touch and you countermanded that order. HE and HIS actions are now your responsibility."*

It's amazing how quickly she backpedaled, once she got a grasp on how much one of the pieces of large geodes cost.

*It was part of a secondary parental contract parents had to sign. Basically it stated that the boy must listen to leadership regardless of parental involvement. Encouraging a boy into doing something counter to leadership was considered reason to suspend activities for the boy. We weren't going to be held responsible for parental stupidity.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I did that once when I was working for Taco Hell too many moons ago. The location I had been working at had, like some Taco Hells, the metal divider things that let the line snake from the register to almost the door. Some of the younger kids, like seven and younger, thought it would be fun to swing from those, I asked them not to because they might get hurt.

The last time I did that, I got yelled at by the mother who told me that it's HER child and that I shouldn't tell HER child to stop doing something. Later I got yelled at by one of the shift leads because the mother decided to complain about it, so I stopped telling kids to not to swing anymore. Because of this I ignore any kid that is doing something dangerous because, hey, not my child, not my problem.

At the supermarket, one of the cashiers asked a mother politely to stop her daughter from climbing all over the trolley, as she might get hurt. The mother then yelled at the cashier, screaming that it was HER child not the cashier's, and it was up to her what her child did or did not do.

Ten minutes later, and an ambulance had to be called out cuz the little girl, who had been clambering all over the trolley like a monkey while her mother pushed it, fell forehead first on to the metal rim and split her head open like a coconut.