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  • #1

    Go buy your bras and panties somewhere else

    ...because I'm closed.

    Supervisor turned off my light and off course people kept coming. A lady was first, with just a giftcard. I gave her the benefit of the doubt--maybe she didn't see the light because she was one of those slightly confused little old ladies--and took her. She had trouble with the card reader because it is now the chip and PIN system, and she wasn't familiar. A lot of people do, and it only means 1 extra minute. And then the reader failed as it had been doing the last half hour, so I had to back up the transaction. But honestly, that's only even one more minute.

    Well, the dude behind her couldn't spare 2 extra minutes, so he bolted, leaving a pile of lingerie on the counter. Serves him right.
    "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably
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  • #2
    Didn't Bob Rivers do a xmas song about that guy?
    AkaiKitsune
    Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

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    • #3
      Quoth Rosco the Iroc View Post
      Didn't Bob Rivers do a xmas song about that guy?
      "Lacy things, the Wife is missin',
      Didn't ask, her permission,
      I'm wearing her clothes,
      Her silk pantyhose,
      Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!"

      Love that song. DH introduced me to it last christmas, along with Weird Al's christmas at ground zero and Grandma got run over by a reindeer. (And the parody Grandpa got run over by a beer truck)

      Love me some parody christmas songs.

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      • #4
        For a Lovecraftian take on carols: http://www.cthulhulives.org/solstice/

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        • #5
          Quoth Golden Phoenix View Post
          Love that song. DH introduced me to it last christmas, along with Weird Al's christmas at ground zero and Grandma got run over by a reindeer. (And the parody Grandpa got run over by a beer truck)

          Love me some parody christmas songs.
          There's also a Cledus T Judd version, Grandma got Runned Over by a John Deere.
          This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
          I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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          • #6
            Quoth zond View Post
            For a Lovecraftian take on carols: http://www.cthulhulives.org/solstice/
            Ahem. I've done that too.
            PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

            There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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            • #7
              Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
              Ahem. I've done that too.
              Have penned that lovely tune, do you have a copy of The Antarctic Express?
              "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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              • #8
                Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
                There's also a Cledus T Judd version, Grandma got Runned Over by a John Deere.
                I am off to play that right now!

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                • #9
                  One of my husband's former classmates posted on FB a version called (I think) Grandma Got Molested by the TSA. It was pretty funny but kinda sad, too.
                  "They gave me a badge with my name on it. In case I forget who I am." Dr Who - Closing Time

                  "I reject your reality and substitute my own." Adam Savage-Mythbusters

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                    Ahem. I've done that too.
                    Very nicely done

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth Golden Phoenix View Post

                      "Lacy things, the Wife is missin',
                      Didn't ask, her permission,
                      I'm wearing her clothes,
                      Her silk pantyhose,
                      Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!"

                      Love that song. DH introduced me to it last christmas, along with Weird Al's christmas at ground zero and Grandma got run over by a reindeer. (And the parody Grandpa got run over by a beer truck)

                      Love me some parody christmas songs.
                      Is a parody of a parody a serious song?
                      "Hi, this is Silver. How may I lose my self respect in order to cater to your over- inflated ego today?" --- Silverrb

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                      • #12
                        Back in New Orleans, we had the Mardi Gras variant: "Grandma got run over by a King float" ~~ "staggering from Bourbon to Canal..." ~~
                        "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                        "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                        "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                        "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                        "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                        "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                        Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                        "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                        • #13
                          Quoth SilverOrb View Post
                          Is a parody of a parody a serious song?
                          Yes, of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland".

                          (And if you weren't serious, the joke just went ZOOM over my head!)
                          “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
                          One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
                          The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Golden Phoenix View Post
                            I am off to play that right now!
                            How about Red Peters' "You Ain't Getting S**t for Christmas"?
                            Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Nunavut Pants View Post

                              Yes, of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland".

                              (And if you weren't serious, the joke just went ZOOM over my head!)
                              *giggles* It was a joke. Kind of like The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
                              "Hi, this is Silver. How may I lose my self respect in order to cater to your over- inflated ego today?" --- Silverrb

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