Tell me how to process this

[Food Lady]

because had he not had a mental disability, he would've been a sucktomer. So my next to last customer had one of those Crosley turntables and while she was doing the card reader we were chatting about it. I was trying to let her know about a small external speaker we have if she wanted to get one, should she ever need it. I was doing my job: connecting with my customer. And I was doing it genuinely.

The teen guy behind her interrupted and when I looked at him he pointed at his stuff and asked if I'd ring it up. I knew at that point by the way he was acting and speaking he was different, so I affirmed that yes, I would do so. I smiled, even, and I don't smile easily. I went on with my explanation about the speaker and he interrupted again, using my name and saying "If you can end the conversation, can you do my stuff?" His mom told him it was ok, that we were discussing stuff while the other lady was doing her card. That seemed to end his mild protest, but it was so akward. It left me feeling bad like when other actually mean people--who mean to be bullies--reprimand me for doing my job.

And he simply said what I know a lot of other people think and don't say.

[NorthernZel]

As a parent of a child with special needs, I'd say that you handled the situation fine. You acknowlegded that the young man probably "spoke before thinking" and respected his situation (many kids/young adults with neurological issues (like, say, autism or ADD) get easily stressed in situations or places where there's a lot of noise or activity around them, and it can cause them to lash out at times). And anyway, the mother did diffuse the conflict at an early stage.

So TL;DR: Some people appear to act like assholes even if they actually try to be kind (in my mind, I'd guess that the young man in question thought the lady before him was holding the line up, and believed that you had the authority to tell her to shut up and get on with it). And some people are assholes just for the sake of it. Sometimes it's good to know the difference.

EXTRA: But also, I believe that disabled persons ought not to use their disability to excuse unappropriate behaviour. I tell my son that all the time, and he behaves well (mostly )

[Food Lady]

Thank you. I thought I did pretty well. I for once didn't show that I was annoyed and the lady ahead of him did receive good service. She had a big smile and thank you for me. I feel a bit better about it now. I have empathy for his mom but I know she'd do it all over again because she loves her son. I'm in awe of moms who have special needs kids.

[An Haddock]

Thank you. I thought I did pretty well. I for once didn't show that I was annoyed and the lady ahead of him did receive good service. She had a big smile and thank you for me. I feel a bit better about it now. I have empathy for his mom but I know she'd do it all over again because she loves her son. I'm in awe of moms who have special needs kids.

You did good.


We get "interns" from a local school for kids with disorders and disabilities every semester or so. A common thing with them is interrupting conversations, either to ask a question or sometimes to insert themselves in the conversation. The teacher who accompanies them often has to correct them for doing this. (nicely, of course - yelling at kids accomplishes nothing)

I remember one kid who was obsessed with video games to the point where his parents eventually sent him to video game rehab camp. (yes, that's a thing)

If any of us tried having a conversation about gaming the kid would always try to insert himself into the conversation. Then when the teacher corrected him he'd get pretty pissed off. Towards the end of his (short) internship he also informed us that sweeping the floor was "beneath him". So that one didn't last so long.


I remember another kid who was sitting in the back without the observation teacher, waiting for his bus. A guy had come in asking about getting something for his computer. And I don't know what possessed the kid to say something, but he blurted out "yes we can do that!" - whatever it was, we didn't do it. So now I had to cover up for the kid saying that to a senior citizen customer who I was pretty sure thought I was lying to him anyway. (I wasn't - but I got the vibe)


Some of the kids have been really good, though. You never know what you're going to get.