Can you paint it clear?

[FerrousBueller]

So... I'm back. Kind of. No longer doing costuming and instead am doing custom props, set design and creature builds for a local company. I'm not going to name them just because, well, for the most part it's great. However, still have to deal with the occasional unbuffered customer.

So, I'm painting on an elaborate monster build. It's 7 feet tall, has punched hair and fur (separate pieces, they get attached after the painting) foam sculpted textures painted with latex paints and articulated joints. Possible we might make the face articulate because we left room for it.

Anyway, we're nearing completion. There's got to be at least 20 hours of painting on this thing and the client comes in today to do a viewing. The client comes in with a folder. In this folder are photos of these sea slugs that are translucent with glowy bio-luminescent hues. Have to admit they're neat animals but they have nothing to do with this build.

The client, however, looks to me and asks "Can we do something like this?"

I ask "What, you mean make it glow? Sure, we have UV reactive paints and even some glow-in-the-dark stuff." I don't tell him that I think it'd look horrible since the creature is more mammalian than bug or invertebrate.

He says "No, can you make it invisible?"

I ask "Um, you mean ... wait, what?"

"Can you make it clear!"

Mind you, this stuff is foam and latex. Build is nearing the 'done' stages and is almost camera ready. We could redo it in a clear urethane or resin or, well, a dozen different materials but would require rebuilding it from scratch.

So I reply "Well, we could redo it from scratch. It would require rebuilding it from ground zero and starting over but..."

"No no no! I mean, don't you have paints that can make it clear?"

"Make it... clear?"

"Yeah! Like that stuff they used on Predator to make it invisible!"

"Uh.... you're going to have to ask my boss about that."

Seems you can't escape the stupid. Thankfully, not working for myself anymore so stupid rolls uphill.

[wolfie]

So... I'm back. Kind of. No longer doing costuming and instead am doing custom props, set design and creature builds for a local company. I'm not going to name them just because, well, for the most part it's great. However, still have to deal with the occasional unbuffered customer.


"No no no! I mean, don't you have paints that can make it clear?"

"Make it... clear?"

"Yeah! Like that stuff they used on Predator to make it invisible!"

Besides the "mammals aren't like that" issue, there are 2 major points:

1) TV and movies can do stuff (blue screens, CGI, etc.) that are physically impossible to use for live theater (what I assume you're working on).

2) Predator (or any movie that's got multiple big-name stars) had a LARGE budget. I don't think the customer you were dealing with had anywhere near that budget. Cool effects cost money.

[Crossbow]

"No no no! I mean, don't you have paints that can make it clear?"

"Make it... clear?"

"Yeah! Like that stuff they used on Predator to make it invisible!"

Brain has thrown a General Exception Handler error and must shut down...

I... I *KNOW* people are this stupid, and I still can't process this.

[Android Kaeli]

I knew that the human race is in a steady decline towards being completely stupid, what I didn't expect was that it got to that point already. If someone can make that happen with just paint, you'll be a billionaire.

[Kittish]

He says "No, can you make it invisible?"

I ask "Um, you mean ... wait, what?"

"Can you make it clear!"

"No no no! I mean, don't you have paints that can make it clear?"

"Make it... clear?"

"Yeah! Like that stuff they used on Predator to make it invisible!"

"Sure, you'll just need to buy the paint for it. We can't buy it for ourselves because we're not allowed to. Something about the prank 3 years ago at the staff Christmas party." *wistful sigh* "So, yea, you buy the paint and we'll put it on! What do you mean where do you buy it? Everyone knows that!" *hrummph and walk away, trying really hard not to giggle or snort*

[Aria]

Even if you could, doesn't he realize that some dude with a computer can 'make it clear' WAY easier? I mean, if he's making a film, which I assume he is...

[Ophbalance]

How do these people manage to find their way home after leaving their domicile? Or really, how do they manage to find their way out to begin with?

[Nemesis44UK]

Yeah, I think the military wants first dibs on that invisible paint....

[dalesys]

My son the artiste said: "Sure, with the right paint, but after a while you come down and have a headache."

[Ironclad Alibi]

All they need is the top secret paint that was used in WW2. This animated documentary tells all about it.

[otakuneko]

I immediately thought of...

"We need you to draw 7 red lines, all strictly perpendicular..." it goes downhill from there.

Heads may asplode. Viewer discretion is advised.

[notalwaysright]

I immediately thought of...

"We need you to draw 7 red lines, all strictly perpendicular..." it goes downhill from there.

Heads may asplode. Viewer discretion is advised.

Omg, I can't even remember where I saw this link first, but every single person (regardless of their field of work) has found it flipping hysterical. One of my friends and I quote this on a regular basis. "Can I have the pen?!" or "so what exactly is stopping us from doing this? Geometry!" "Can you draw a line in the shape of a kitten?" We do the same thing with Futurama.

Good News Everyone!

[otakuneko]

Good News Everyone!
It's a suppository!

[workerbee222]

How do these people manage to find their way home after leaving their domicile? Or really, how do they manage to find their way out to begin with?

Or, as a professor of mine once asked, "How do they do it? How do they get food from their plates to their mouths."

[MoonCat]

Or, as a professor of mine once asked, "How do they do it? How do they get food from their plates to their mouths."

My sister likes to say, "How did they survive childhood??"