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  • Stop F-ing Talking

    So my friends Sam & Nami wanted to go see the new horror movie "The Forest" and wanted me to come along. Not being that keen on horror movies, it wasn't exactly on my list, but going with friends is okay by me. As they're trying to save money, they opted to go to an "early bird" showing at 10am, when tickets would be half price. So I got up early to join them.

    We'd expected to be the only people in the theater at 10am on a Saturday, but then the entire row in front of us filled up with teenage girls, chatting and taking selfies. I cringed inwardly, expecting them to be Chatty McChattersons.

    As the movie started, I didn't notice any undue noise from the teens in front of us, but not too long into the movie, I heard Sam say, "Shut up." I supposed he heard some noise from them, and shrugged it off. A little while later, I heard him say, louder, "That's still talking." But I noticed nothing from the teens. Later on, I saw an usher come in and walk around a couple of times, but didn't think anything of it.

    After the movie was over, when we went into the lobby, Sam went to go talk to a manager, and Nami explained what had happened.

    About ten minutes into the movie, two people-- whom I didn't see-- came in and proceeded to talk and make noise through the whole damn movie. They sat on the other side of Sam and Nami, where I didn't see them or hear them. They would not stop. Sam apparently had to stop Nami from blowing up on them, and when she got up and walked out, apparently one of the noise-makers made a smug little "Ha ha" noise.

    When Nami had gotten up and walked out, she'd told the employees about it, and that's why the usher had come in, but predictably, the noise-makers shut up as soon as he came in, and started up again as soon as he was gone. Sam wasn't fishing for freebies when he went to talk to the manager, he was trying to explain that ushers checking on this kind of thing need to check that noise-makers aren't just starting up again as soon as they're gone-- offering constructive criticism to improve the technique, as it were.

    I explained to Nami (and later Sam) that I hadn't heard any of this, and if I had, I would absolutely have gotten up and told them to their faces to stop talking. It's one thing to lean over or just say it to the air, but it's something else if a 6'2", 285+ pound bald guy in a shirt with a skull design looms over you and tells you to shut up.

    I admitted also to Nami, "This wasn't exactly my kinda movie, so I would have even gotten up and stood in front of them," arms folded, "and just stared at them." I would've done it, too, had I known.

    Sam and Nami appreciated the sentiment. They also appreciated management giving them two free passes to any movie they want in the future.
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

  • #2
    There are no movie theater audiences worse than those who see horror movies.

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    • #3
      Some would say kids' movies are worse, but if you go to one at 3 p.m. on a Saturday expecting to not see any kids there, you need a serious reality check.

      I've actually never been to a horror movie in theaters, I need to try it sometime.
      The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.

      You would have to be incredibly dense for the world to revolve around you.

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      • #4
        I remember my dad turning all the way around in his seat to stare silently at talkers. I'm surprised he didn't get himself in trouble, but this was 15 years ago. I have only seen one movie in a theater (that I paid for) in the last, oh, 2-3 years. It was hella expensive, why would someone waste that much money? It was Star Wars, it was 9:00 AM, and I only heard a few whispers. Of course, it was during the quiet moments, but not enough to ruin anything. And it was not coming from the families with kids (ages maybe 6-12), it was coming from the grown ups.
        Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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        • #5
          Guh, I hate people who do that!

          Many moons ago, when "Return of the Jedi" first came out, my youngest sister and I went to see it on opening day. The crowd was huge, every seat filled. As the movie started, there was still a lot of talking going on, and I heard a few people going "Shhhh!" but it didn't help.

          Then some guy stood up and yelled "HEY!!" in this really deep voice (with undertones of "Don't make me come over there!") There was shocked silence, a few giggles, and everybody shut up.
          When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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          • #6
            When I saw Les Miserables in the theater, there were these two old bats who would not stop talking. And they were loud enough to be heard from several rows away, and over the music. Look you two motormouths, I paid good money to hear the movie, not you idiots! You want to talk to your friend, go to a public park or a restaurant.
            I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
            My LiveJournal
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            • #7
              I also hate it when people IMMEDIATELY spring out of their seats and make towards the exits the second the movie cuts to black and we see the credits start, especially if they stand up in the row in front of me and just stand there, blocking my view of the credits, as they wait for those at the ends of their row to leave so they can. I'm one of those weird people who never leave the theater until the credits are completely over (I like to know who did what, and listen to the soundtrack if a movie has a nice score), and it always annoys me when I hear people start loudly discussing the movie as they wait to shuffle out when it ISN'T EVEN OVER YET. Totally ruins the mood.

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              • #8
                Quoth Aragarthiel View Post
                Some would say kids' movies are worse, but if you go to one at 3 p.m. on a Saturday expecting to not see any kids there, you need a serious reality check.
                I'm a big Disney geek, and this is exactly why I go at off times - really late or a not-weekend night. I saw Frozen on a Monday night with only a few people in the theater and it was awesome. (Of course, it probably also helped that it was a bitter cold night and probably most people weren't venturing out in it. )

                Quoth Monterey Jack View Post
                I also hate it when people IMMEDIATELY spring out of their seats and make towards the exits the second the movie cuts to black and we see the credits start, especially if they stand up in the row in front of me and just stand there, blocking my view of the credits, as they wait for those at the ends of their row to leave so they can. I'm one of those weird people who never leave the theater until the credits are completely over (I like to know who did what, and listen to the soundtrack if a movie has a nice score), and it always annoys me when I hear people start loudly discussing the movie as they wait to shuffle out when it ISN'T EVEN OVER YET. Totally ruins the mood.
                I'm weird like that, too. And I'm sometimes rewarded by a bonus scene.

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                • #9
                  Siskaren....so you saw frozen when it was frozen out?


                  Normally there isn't much noise at the theaters lil Ray and I go to but we have a thumbs up, thumbs down system to the previews. That way we don't disturb anyone.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth siskaren View Post
                    I'm a big Disney geek, and this is exactly why I go at off times - really late or a not-weekend night. I saw Frozen on a Monday night with only a few people in the theater and it was awesome. (Of course, it probably also helped that it was a bitter cold night and probably most people weren't venturing out in it. ) I'm weird like that, too. And I'm sometimes rewarded by a bonus scene.
                    the cold never bothered you anyway.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Sunshine View Post
                      Siskaren....so you saw frozen when it was frozen out?
                      Yes, yes, I did.

                      Quoth VComps View Post
                      the cold never bothered you anyway.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth siskaren View Post
                        I'm weird like that, too. And I'm sometimes rewarded by a bonus scene.
                        Especially if it's a Marvel movie. I always laugh at the people who leave during Marvel credits, they ALWAYS run extras scenes either in the middle of or after the credits. And they're missing out.
                        The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.

                        You would have to be incredibly dense for the world to revolve around you.

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                        • #13
                          With Marvel movies, there's always at least twenty or so die-hards who will stick it out to the very end in search of Credit Cookies.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Aragarthiel View Post
                            Especially if it's a Marvel movie. I always laugh at the people who leave during Marvel credits, they ALWAYS run extras scenes either in the middle of or after the credits. And they're missing out.
                            I've been that person leaving, but only because my bladder is on the point of bursting. I always buy the DVD when it comes out anyway (and I've often gone back for a second showing) so it doesn't bother me too much.
                            "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

                            Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

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                            • #15
                              My wife dragged me, kicking and screaming (almost) to a Very Expensive Cultural Theater Event. Despite several announcements that cell phones must be turned off. one of the morons in front of me kept messing with his phone. When I pointed out to him that he was disturbing us, he turned around and threatened to beat us up for bothering him.

                              ...And of course by the time the usher came around, the phone was put away. (But not off!)
                              “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
                              One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
                              The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers

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