Well, I may have to file a sexual harassment complaint

[smileyeagle1021]

Yeah, for now I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt that this could be a case of gross incompetence rather than actual harassment, but I am so ready to go to war.
When I did my new hire paperwork, I very explicitly filled out my retirement enrollment that my spouse was a MALE named (name). I had to wait at least 60 days to set up an online log in to my retirement account (you know, processing time and all that), and imagine my chagrin when today I finally logged in and on the very first screen it asked me to verify that I was married to a FEMALE named (my husband's name with one letter changed to make it a feminine version).
Now, my handwriting isn't the best, so, I can see misspelling the name, but how the hell can they justify changing the sex of my spouse? Best case scenario I can think of, they didn't even look at the box I checked and just assumed since I am a male, my spouse is a female. Worst case scenario is they made a conscious judgement call that they didn't want to acknowledge that I had a husband instead of a wife and willfully and intentionally altered what I submitted.
If it is the best case scenario, all I care about is getting it fixed, it was incompetence at its finest, but it wasn't deliberate harassment... if it is the worst case scenario, oh the demons had better start running.

eta- for clarification, whoever's mistake this is, it isn't in my department, our HR rep verified with me what I put on the form and passed it on, this is someone in the state's retirement program who did this.

[Kit-Ginevra]

Giving them the benefit of the doubt,perhaps they misread the name originally-let's say they read it as Justine instead of Justin and then when they went to fill the box,thought that's a female name...check the female box without even realizing that perhaps you meant the male name.

[Becks]

I'm going to agree with Kit-Ginevra.

[smileyeagle1021]

Giving them the benefit of the doubt,perhaps they misread the name originally-let's say they read it as Justine instead of Justin and then when they went to fill the box,thought that's a female name...check the female box without even realizing that perhaps you meant the male name.

I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt on what motivated them, what I'm not willing to do is give the benefit of the doubt on forgiving the mistake all together. If this was an "honest" mistake, either they didn't read the form or they made an assumption about what I meant to fill out rather than contacting me to verify... either way, that is not something that gives me warm fuzzies when it is someone at the department responsible for ensuring that I have a retirement to keep my family alive after I can no longer work.

And, people who know me know that I'm not the type to immediately jump to the conclusion of homophobia (I've seriously met people who when someone they've just met asks if they have a wife concludes that the person asking is homophobic for assuming they are straight, no, the person asking that honestly doesn't know and has a 90% chance of being right if he guesses straight). All other things being equal, if this was a private company rather than a state organization, I would assume it was an honest mistake and go no further, but given that it is a state organization, and granted one I'm not overly familiar with, but the organizations I am familiar with strictly forbid altering anything submitted by a taxpayer and that we are to call to request corrected forms if there are any discrepancies, the thought that this was intentional is hard to completely push away.

[MoonCat]

It might be incompetence, it might be stupidity, it might be deliberate homophobia or it might be an honest mistake, as Kit-Genevra said. It might be best to sit down with HR and give them a chance to go after these people with a, ahem, "gentle reminder" that they are NOT supposed to alter the form and that HR already verified your info. HR should have your back on this.

[Crai]

See... People.. (sigh)

I would not pick any point of view I would just tell them to correct their mistake and to make sure to properly read the submitted paperwork. Unless your dealing with Kim Davis and that guberment then I would be offended.

A Good Friend of mine is whats called an RP (Religious Person) for the Navy. She is Married her and her Wife have a kid together, they are Pagan and she deals with all the religiosity peoples. Some don't have an issue with it, some do but know to keep there traps shut and some refuse to see anything other then their own beliefs, such as the women that always refers to her wife as a husband / He / Male / Him ect. Even though there is Photo of her Well endowed Wife on the desk.

Some people just see what they want you cant be offended by their blinders and stupidity its not worth the energy.