Chewing on my eyeballs... (Long, very long)

[gremcint]

Ok I need to write this out. I don't know how well I'll be able to convey this due to waiting too long but we'll see.

See I've dealt with Angry Customers and I've dealt with Dumb customers but the worst is the crazy customers. Not crazy demands or entitled but straight up crazy.

So I'm working saturday and this lady comes in and is looking at the ipads. but is complaining about how heavy they are even the ipad mini. Apparently her previous device was stolen. I'm just gonna give the highlights because it was a few days ago. She's obsessed with the weight of tablets she does have something wrong with her hands but all the tablets are pretty much the same weight. she complains about how the ipad is so much heavier because it's metal and ignores me when I point out the plastic ones weight the same. I show her the lightest tablet we have (a difference of 1/10th of a pound) she loves it. the weight thing isn't a big deal but she's just latched onto it and it will matter later.

Now she just can't accept that switching to android will mean having to get new apps. she seems convinced that because it has somthing called four filters she can transfer her apps over.

Anyways when the weight thing came up again I showed her the cell phones. This brought up comments about how cell phones are all nasty and tablets are the same because the companies don't do anything to fix the radiation. See the wifi hurts her stomach and her old phone chewed on her eyeballs. yup. However she still wants a tablet or a cellphone. So I tell her about airplane mode, she can put them in that and it shuts off the signals that it puts out (trying to humor her and finish and get away).

Well see airplane mode isn't secure because it doesn't stay on so the signals come back (but it's secure when you don't use? or just turn it back on after you start?). Also she's worried about the security on cell phones because an executive can make a change at the cell phone company and you lose everything.

Before anyone says anything, I'm just passing along what the customer says.

Anyways while I was looking something up my supervisor informs me she was there for four hours the day before. four hours.... four.... god help me.

so anyways we get around to the fact that she ordered a kobo from our website. However because she's having problems with her phone so she gave our phone number instead of her own... you know the number we call when we need to tell you your order arrived... so I get her number and name for when the order will come in on monday and tell her we'll take care of it and call her when it comes in. She finally goes away. I relax knowing I don't work again until wednesday. It should come in and be taken care of by then.............................................. ..........


WEDNESDAY.
I'm on an 8 hours shift on my usual 2 hours of sleep for morning shifts and guess who I run into.... oh god... no... not again... what did I do to deserve this.

So she sees me and asks if we have anything for her, I get her to remind me about the kobo she ordered. however she has a kobo with her....

So after asking the question 3 times I finally get that no, this is not the kobo she ordered from our website and bought it here in the store, really cheap because we are phasing out ereaders in store. for the record I've basically reached the point where I'm not letting her verbally wander off anymore. That's why I asked the question repeatedly, it's a tech support tactic I've learned, some people will do anything in the world other than answer your question so you just keep asking until you get a simple answer. They don't like it but they tend to start cooperating more after you do it a bit.

So she bought a kobo in store but is utterly convinced it isn't the right thing in the box because it's too heavy, see she tried one at chapters and it was lighter so she must have got the wrong thing. So she ordered another on the phone from the website. She says we have to give her the same price because it's an exchange that's how that works. (this comment didn't make sense yet...) So basically I go and look and we don't have her order. during this entire thing there's back and forth about how it isn't the proper thing in the box because it's too heavy and I double check the model numbers and tell her it's the right thing and that's how much they weigh and that's that. Further any other one that comes in will be the same weight. She keeps telling me to go to chapters and take her kobo and compare

So I call the website and we search for the order through both her email and our phone number and the order is not found so the rep asks me to get her credit card number... I find out now that she never gave a credit card, because why would she, it's a warranty exchange. I say goodbye to the phone rep and hang up.

and here we come to the final round (please god I hope). So she never gave them a payment method over the phone so one was never ordered. I don't even try to explain this to her because it won't go well, further if she wasn't charged we don't owe her anything so best to just leave it. So after I convince her that I'm not going to go down to chapters (why do so many customer think that the company pay us to go to another store and look at stuff). I also drill down that this is the model she bought, that's how much it weighs and that frankly being too heavy is not a warranty issue. I've told her a dozen times we can refund it but she keeps tell me to just hang onto it until the other one comes so we can "see that it's not the right thing in the box". which is not happening, it's either refund or it's hers.

I finally get her agree to just return it. I hand her off to the returns cashier but hang around in case she gives coworker any trouble. I hear a couple comments about it not being the right thing in the box again but no real trouble. and then she just leaves right??? she leaves right??? please let her leave. nope she heads in the direction of the tablets.

You know what fuck it. I'm taking my overdue break and when I come out she's gone thank christ.

ok if parts of this are hard to parse tell me and I'll edit but I'm tired and well... you know.

Also my theory is that she called them and hung up without finishing the order.

[notalwaysright]

Why is it that the crazies are the ones who stick around for hours, day after day? At my work it's pretty much standard to ask what the customer is making, which is a HUGE problem when the person you're asking is a nutter.

I mean, I've had people trying so hard to explain what they're trying to make, and I literally can't figure it out. "A thing for my house, my neighbors look in my yard and I want my cat to be able to use it, the neighbors won't like this, I want it to be all wavy and maybe stripes or thin, so can you show me fabric that will work?"

(This was an actual person, and I sold her rip-stop nylon)

[gremcint]

basically they always seem to be a mix of multiple bad customer types. this one was a combo of storyteller and stupid. She also had this behavioral tick almost, whenever I was talking to her she would several times point at her chest, tap it and give that "oh come on I'm so innocent" smile that some people do. It was very distracting while trying to get through to her.

[CyberLurch]

The problem is 'helping' the delusional encourages them. If they believe that something is causing (insert problem here), then nothing you do or say is going to convince them otherwise; in fact, it often just reinforces their delusion.

I know, you really can't avoid them. But the sad fact is, once they think they've found an ally in their war against (insert imaginary enemy here), you will not know peace until they either get the help they desperately need, or decide that you're no longer their ally. If the latter, it might be that they simply avoid you, but there are also instances where they focus on you as being in league with (insert that imaginary enemy again here).

I would cite a personal example, but I don't want to 'jack the thread.

[Catwoman2965]

OMG this brings back memories of a customer I had some years back in my former PT job. Selling upscale women's clothing. So the BG was her daughter was getting married I think in India? which was where her husband was from. Or maybe CHina, which is where this woman was from. I don't really recall, but either way, it was an overseas wedding a LONG way away. There was also a language barrier which didn't help things.

So the way my store used to do sales was 4 times a year, major markdowns, and once it was over, that's it. No more, everything back up to full price until the next sale. But since that was not the way most stores work corporate soon went to the sale, promo, on off, etc. like everyone else does.

so this woman would order dresses to wear as the MOB, get them, bring them back, return, then order again, and want the former sale price on something new. ARGH. it got so bad that we'd see her come in, and all run since NO ONE wanted to help her. it was draining.

I think she finally either gave up, or found something since i worked there for many more years, and never saw her again.

[Crai]

Is it wrong that I screw with the crazy people? I mean once I know they are a nutter I start reminding them to wear their tinfoil hats, I bring up the mind control ability of cell phones, or how Google is spying on them from space...

I really look forward making them as paranoid as possible, my end goal is to get them to never leave the house but I might as well be entertained doing it.

[Seanette]

TBH, seems a bit mean to me. Yes, a nutjob is a PITA to handle. OTOH, mental illness isn't exactly a deliberate choice they're making specifically to be annoying.

[RealUnimportant]

Yeah, that's mean at best and potentially dangerous at worst, depending on just what issues they have. But anyway...

I'm gonna go out on a limb & suggest that she's thinking that a plastic display dummy is a fully working tablet. Because they're simple shells, of course they weigh next to nothing; this is why the iPad "being metal" is a big deal to her, as it demonstrates straight away that it's the real deal and not the lighter plastic decoy she's fixated on.

[EricKei]

After receiving some complaints about it, we've had to delete some posts in here, partially for taking the subject matter in entirely the wrong direction, partially for calling a user out. Take it to Fratching, guys.

Thread locked.