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Because "You don't need to untangle them," is the worst thing you can say to a child, apparently.
I was the cashier at work today. A woman and a girl (I would guess around 8) came up to my register. We exchanged the traditional pleasantries and the girl began to unload the cart onto the counter.
First up was a pile of cheap party leis and grass skirts. They had sort of gotten mixed up in each other, so the girl began to untangle them. The problem was, she was doing it slowly and meticulously, and I could do it with just one quick movement that would also scan and bag them. Also, her doing it was bringing my work to a standstill, she would be better suited to continue loading up the counter.
So I said, "You don't need to untangle them, you can just--" but I stopped because finishing my sentence was unnecessary; she had already moved on to unloading the cart.
I would like to interject here to make it clear that I was using my "smile voice." Now, I don't claim to be brilliant, but I am a trained actress. I've studied acting. I've done amateur internet voice work. I am very aware of my tone, my pitch, and my projection, which I mind very carefully when I'm at work, because I think of it as putting on a show for the customers. I play the part of the woman who doesn't hate everyone she meets with a burning passion. I only bring this up because I know a lot of people aren't aware of how they sound but think they are, especially after being at work for hours. I just wanted you to know I tried my best. I know used my friendly voice, and that's something I'm able to know.
It was quiet for a while, until the mother said to her daughter (who was just continuing on like nothing had happened, "Thank you, by the way, for trying to help. I know you were trying to help, and people don't always express that very well." I notice she's staring at me, so I glance up at her.
"Yes, YOU, Mrs. Eclipse," she says sternly.
"Pardon?"
"That tone you used with my child was not appropriate. It's not what you say, it's how you say it, and you DO NOT talk to my child like that."
"I didn't--"
"Yes you did! You used that tone, and it was rude. You need to watch how you speak to me because I am a customer and that was not appropriate!" She went on like this a little more.
I was suddenly really angry. I won't lie. Ten years ago, I would have -- well, let's just leave it that I had serious anger management problems. So, in light of that, I decided I needed to remove myself from the situation immediately and called my manager over to finish the transaction. Luckily, the manager had heard the whole thing and was 100% on my side. I went into the back and calmed myself down while I listened to that woman badmouth me to my manager about how I dared to speak to her child. My manager didn't say anything, because if she dared disagree with the woman and the woman called corporate, corporate would take the customer's side and we'd both get in trouble. But she did not feed into that woman's bullshit. Didn't agree with her, didn't say anything. Just rang her up and sent her out.
And how upset was the child at my tone? She wasn't even paying attention anymore. Her mom threw a fit over nothing.
I hate it when customers decide to dress you down right there at the register. It's happened before. This one time, I got a five-minute lecture because a woman said something and I glanced up and said, "Hm?" instead of, "Pardon me?" Honestly, I think lecturing a complete stranger over a slight infraction is much, MUCH ruder than the response you give on instinct not being up to the other person's standards.
The other version I hate is when they say, "I'm not gonna tell you what I think about you because Jesus wouldn't want me to! But it's bad, trust me! You're lucky Jesus don't let me say what's really on my mind!" Thinking that doesn't count as lecturing me over petty nonsense. Lady, Jesus or no, that's just as bad. You're still throwing a hissy fit over absolutely nothing. Yelling at me about how you're not going to yell at me is... pretty much the dumbest thing ever.
I was the cashier at work today. A woman and a girl (I would guess around 8) came up to my register. We exchanged the traditional pleasantries and the girl began to unload the cart onto the counter.
First up was a pile of cheap party leis and grass skirts. They had sort of gotten mixed up in each other, so the girl began to untangle them. The problem was, she was doing it slowly and meticulously, and I could do it with just one quick movement that would also scan and bag them. Also, her doing it was bringing my work to a standstill, she would be better suited to continue loading up the counter.
So I said, "You don't need to untangle them, you can just--" but I stopped because finishing my sentence was unnecessary; she had already moved on to unloading the cart.
I would like to interject here to make it clear that I was using my "smile voice." Now, I don't claim to be brilliant, but I am a trained actress. I've studied acting. I've done amateur internet voice work. I am very aware of my tone, my pitch, and my projection, which I mind very carefully when I'm at work, because I think of it as putting on a show for the customers. I play the part of the woman who doesn't hate everyone she meets with a burning passion. I only bring this up because I know a lot of people aren't aware of how they sound but think they are, especially after being at work for hours. I just wanted you to know I tried my best. I know used my friendly voice, and that's something I'm able to know.
It was quiet for a while, until the mother said to her daughter (who was just continuing on like nothing had happened, "Thank you, by the way, for trying to help. I know you were trying to help, and people don't always express that very well." I notice she's staring at me, so I glance up at her.
"Yes, YOU, Mrs. Eclipse," she says sternly.
"Pardon?"
"That tone you used with my child was not appropriate. It's not what you say, it's how you say it, and you DO NOT talk to my child like that."
"I didn't--"
"Yes you did! You used that tone, and it was rude. You need to watch how you speak to me because I am a customer and that was not appropriate!" She went on like this a little more.
I was suddenly really angry. I won't lie. Ten years ago, I would have -- well, let's just leave it that I had serious anger management problems. So, in light of that, I decided I needed to remove myself from the situation immediately and called my manager over to finish the transaction. Luckily, the manager had heard the whole thing and was 100% on my side. I went into the back and calmed myself down while I listened to that woman badmouth me to my manager about how I dared to speak to her child. My manager didn't say anything, because if she dared disagree with the woman and the woman called corporate, corporate would take the customer's side and we'd both get in trouble. But she did not feed into that woman's bullshit. Didn't agree with her, didn't say anything. Just rang her up and sent her out.
And how upset was the child at my tone? She wasn't even paying attention anymore. Her mom threw a fit over nothing.
I hate it when customers decide to dress you down right there at the register. It's happened before. This one time, I got a five-minute lecture because a woman said something and I glanced up and said, "Hm?" instead of, "Pardon me?" Honestly, I think lecturing a complete stranger over a slight infraction is much, MUCH ruder than the response you give on instinct not being up to the other person's standards.
The other version I hate is when they say, "I'm not gonna tell you what I think about you because Jesus wouldn't want me to! But it's bad, trust me! You're lucky Jesus don't let me say what's really on my mind!" Thinking that doesn't count as lecturing me over petty nonsense. Lady, Jesus or no, that's just as bad. You're still throwing a hissy fit over absolutely nothing. Yelling at me about how you're not going to yell at me is... pretty much the dumbest thing ever.
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