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Why the need to remark on someones personal appearance?

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  • #1

    Why the need to remark on someones personal appearance?

    OK, so a bit of background first - I work with my other half (we were together before he was employed by my boss). He only works part time with me and is also a singer in a band. He dyes his hair and has done for many years - he dyes it half red and half black, and it has become his kind of "trademark" so he won't be changing it any time soon.

    So yesterday we were working together. It had been a really quiet morning so I decided to crack on with some jobs. I was in the middle of changing the main watch window so I had what seemed like thousands of watches all over the place and heavy displays balanced quite precariously whilst I was swapping them over. My OH was doing no tasks, just waiting to greet customers and serve them (there was just the 2 of us in.)

    Cue SC. She walks in and looks directly at my OH and says "Strange hair!" Not being the shy and retiring type, my OH says "what your hair?"
    SC "NO! Yours! Its strange"
    OH "Is it? Why's that then?"
    SC "Well I've just never seen anyone with that colour hair?"
    OH "Well it is 2016, it's not that unusual to see someone with dyed hair"
    SC "I guess not"

    SC then comes over to me while I'm busy and have my back to her and am halfway through moving a heavy watch display base unit and asks to look at a necklace. My OH pipes up "sure, do you want to show me which one it is?"

    He continued to serve her throughout the whole transaction and was very polite to her. So much so that not once did she raise her head and look him in the eye as she was so embarrassed. When she came to leave she even said "sorry if I offended you, I didn't mean to." To which he replied "No you didn't don't worry".

    He gets it all the time at work so I guess he is used to it, in a way it offends me more than it does him. I just can't understand why people feel the need to comment on other people's appearance. I get that dying your hair is a choice rather than something you are born with but still, I was always taught that if you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything at all!
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  • #2
    There's a woman who works at my local Big Hardware Store who has red and black hair in halves, split right down her parting. And the first thing I ever said to her was, "Hi, your hair is awesome!" Because it is!

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    • #3
      Not to be mean, but if your hair looks like something out of a anime, your going to get looks and comments. Really what do you want? It wasn't done to blend in with the masses.

      No it's not that common and I don't think she really crossed a line.
      AkaiKitsune
      Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

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      • #4
        So? I wear dreads half the time as well as going for bright, unnatural colours when I can and if somebody is going to make a comment like 'what is with your hair?' I'm going to fire right back as I do happen to find it rather rude. There are much politer ways of putting it, in my opinion, and that is half the battle. Besides, the tone the woman used can't really be felt here but if it's anything like what I've gotten in the past she probably meant to be rude. Btw, I find the best response to 'what is with your hair?' is 'what is with your face?'...but I tend to be a bit of a bitch at times.

        It doesn't matter if something is common or not common, it's all a matter of being polite.

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        • #5
          Quoth Rosco the Iroc View Post
          Not to be mean, but if your hair looks like something out of a anime, your going to get looks and comments. Really what do you want? It wasn't done to blend in with the masses.

          No it's not that common and I don't think she really crossed a line.

          It was just an example. One guy came in and said "what the fuck have you done to your hair?" I guess that is OK too?

          What I want is for people to stop being so damn rude with regards to something that doesn't even concern them and so bloody judgmental all the time. The colour of his hair in no way affects his ability to serve people and be polite. Guess that's just too difficult for some people.

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          • #6
            Settle down, everyone. Please keep the conversation to customers' actions, not sniping at one another. FTSTS is inappropriate.
            "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
            "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
            "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
            "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
            "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
            "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
            Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
            "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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            • #7
              *sets out cookies & bacon and yummy drinks for everyone* Lets all get along and not give EriKei grey hairs.

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              • #8
                "Dude, I change my hair like every week-and-a-half, get used to it!"

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                • #9
                  I agree that it was rude for her to remark on it, but reality is that anyone who does anything unusual with their appearance is going to get stares and comments. It sounds like your SO is well aware of that and handles it like a champ. Good on him!

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                  • #10
                    That's just silly. It's 2016. Unnatural hair colors, tattoos, piercings, etc. should not be that out of the norm.
                    "Some people are dumb." - Butthead

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                    • #11
                      A few years ago before braids got popular again (on grownups), I fairly regularly had people comment on my hair. They're just two braids, not special. People were not being mean or anything, and it didn't really bother me. It confused me, since my hair is boring, not flashy. Just brown, and braided.

                      I do think as a general rule when in a situation with a customer and an employee, it's just better to leave personal comments aside. Sometimes I'll say I like a scarf that a customer is wearing, but I tend to keep compliments like that to articles of clothing, rather than a physical trait, if that makes sense.
                      Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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                      • #12
                        Polite comments are cool. I figure if I see someone who's done something unusual to their hair (or has a tattoo, or unconventional clothing) and I don't like it, I keep my mouth shut - it's not hurting me, I'm free to look away, and what they do with their body and adornments is none of my business. If I do like it, I'll probably say something, because yay! Compliments!

                        (With the caveat that I try to keep my compliments non-creepy, I don't interrupt someone who seems busy or absorbed, and I sure as heck don't touch them.)

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                        • #13
                          *Walks off with half of the bacon and a handful of cookies*

                          I did have a crush on a girl in a science class back in college who routinely dyed her hair bright purple. My favorite quote from her was from a lab with one of the mystery compounds we had to mix up: "This smells like ass!" When one of the guys at work found out, his response was to serenade me with a song he proposed that I sing for her: "Ohhh, I'm in love with a girl with Kool-Aid in her hair..." ^_^
                          Last edited by EricKei; 10-13-2016, 05:43 AM.
                          "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                          "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                          "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                          "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                          "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                          "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                          Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                          "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                          • #14
                            I have bright pink hair and often get stared at because where I am from it is unusual to have dyed hair, my favourite moments though are when the little kids look at me in awe and say I look like a mermaid. My kids call it my unicorn hair. I'm thankful that my good experiences outweigh the bad, one time an old man was looking at me and I thought I was in for it when he walked over but he said to me, I really love your hair miss, it's very bright! That made my day. I change my hair way too often, but I don't do it to get attention, I do it because I love the looks and styles.
                            DA| Youtube|Twitter

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                            • #15
                              Frankly I wish I had the nerve to go pastel with my hair. If I ever strip out all of the color, maybe I will!
                              When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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