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This has been a pretty typical weekend at the Store. And by "typical", I mean "balls-to-the-wall screaming insanity where the only reason our sales aren't higher is because we can't physically accommodate any more customers". I heard from my boss the other day that the Company is looking at opening a second location in Town; it'll probably cut into our sales, but hopefully it'll capture some of the sales we lose because of how busy we are, and in the long run be beneficial for our retirement fund. (That's one of the pluses of working for an employee-owned company; I'm set for life once I retire.)
It actually wasn't a bad weekend overall. We were busy, but we were adequately staffed to deal with it, and myself and the other supervisor working the grocery floor evening shift actually managed to finish early. Of course, that doesn't mean we didn't get our share of crazies. Since we didn't have any cashiers trained to work the customer service counter, I got drafted to cover the CS clerk's lunch break, and that's when these two incidents occurred.
Tale I: He stole your WHAT?
A middle-aged lady walks up to me at the counter.
C: Can I talk to the store manager?
Me: He's already gone for the night, but I'm a shift supervisor. Is there something I can do for you?
C: I hope so! There was a gentleman in here who bought two pizzas and a case of ramen, and I left here with those, and he took my cat.
Me: ...Your cat? Like, a pet cat?
C: Yes, I need to find this guy.
Me: (my eyes roll back in my head, steam starts blowing out my ears, and I bluescreen and have to do a hard reboot)
C: We were down by the meat place.
Me: ...The meat place?
C: At the other end of the Mall.
Me: Do you mean "Renowned David's"?
C: Yeah. He said he bought too much stuff and he gave it to me, and then he asked if he could borrow my cat for the weekend, and I was a bad cat parent and I gave him to him, and then he left before I could get his phone number. Can you look at your cameras? I need to get a look at him.
Me: ...Our cameras don't cover that end of the Mall. You should really talk to "Renowned David's". And you should probably call the police.
C: OK. Thanks!
The mind boggles. None of that makes sense. Was this lady simply deranged? That seems like the easy answer, because I can't imagine any universe in which a stranger asking to borrow your cat for the weekend would be a reasonable request, let alone agreeing to such an exchange. I certainly wouldn't hand off my kitteh for two pizzas and a case of ramen.
Tale II: A Physically Impossible Act
The phone rang while I was at the CS counter and I answered it.
Me: Food Store Townsylvania, how can I help you?
C: I need to talk to the manager.
Me: I'm a shift supervisor, can I help you?
C: NO. Give me the manager.
Me: He's gone for the night. Can I take a message?
C: One of your shopping carts is on the curb in front of my house. You need to pick it up NOW, because I don't live in the ghetto. (I had to bite my tongue, because living close enough to the Store to have one of our carts in front of his house kinda means that he does live in the ghetto, but I digress.)
Me: Can I get your address?
C: X00th and Statesylvania Street.
Me: Alright, I'll leave a note for the manager and we'll pick up within the week. (We have a contractor that goes around the neighborhood once a week and picks up our abandoned carts.)
C: You're not listening. It's THE LAW that you have to get this now. (That's not a law, FTR, and if I had a nickel for every time a customer cited a non-existant law at me, Coinstar would have banned me for life for overloading their kiosks with nickels.)
Me: The manager won't be in until tomorrow mor...
C: I expect someone to be here within the hour. (hangs up)
The CS clerk came back from her lunch right about then, so I let her and the front end supervisor know about the guy and went back to stocking my grocery displays.
About half an hour later, the cart clerk passed by me on the way to the breakroom and asked if I'd talked to someone about a cart in front of their house. I said yes, and he said "Oh, HE MAD". Apparently, said caller had loaded the abandoned cart into the back of his pickup truck, driven to the store, thrown the cart out of the bed onto the pavement, then gotten in the cart clerk's face screaming about "THE LAW", and concluded by saying "If this happens again, I'm gonna find that manager who wouldn't send anyone out, and SHOVE THE CART UP HIS ASS".
It's gotten all around the Store that he threatened that against me. I'm pretty deadpan about these kinds of things, since I've been in the service industry for half my life and this was hardly the first time I've been threatened by a customer (I once had a man threaten to shoot me over a breakfast burrito). Everyone's been laughing about it, me included - my boss and I were both joking today that we should have the cart clerk go by his house and leave another cart there just to see what happens. Worst-case scenario; I end up on worker's comp and have to poop in a bag for the rest of my life.
Bonus WTF: That's Not What Those Are Called
Had a customer approach me the other day.
C: Do you have burritos?
Me: Frozen burritos, aisle 73.
C: No, not frozen. You know, burritos.
Me: I don't understand.
C: You know, burritos... (begins making a circular motion with his hands) ...the shells! Burritos!
Me: Do you mean tortillas?
C: Yeah, that's what they're called!
It actually wasn't a bad weekend overall. We were busy, but we were adequately staffed to deal with it, and myself and the other supervisor working the grocery floor evening shift actually managed to finish early. Of course, that doesn't mean we didn't get our share of crazies. Since we didn't have any cashiers trained to work the customer service counter, I got drafted to cover the CS clerk's lunch break, and that's when these two incidents occurred.
Tale I: He stole your WHAT?
A middle-aged lady walks up to me at the counter.
C: Can I talk to the store manager?
Me: He's already gone for the night, but I'm a shift supervisor. Is there something I can do for you?
C: I hope so! There was a gentleman in here who bought two pizzas and a case of ramen, and I left here with those, and he took my cat.
Me: ...Your cat? Like, a pet cat?
C: Yes, I need to find this guy.
Me: (my eyes roll back in my head, steam starts blowing out my ears, and I bluescreen and have to do a hard reboot)
C: We were down by the meat place.
Me: ...The meat place?
C: At the other end of the Mall.
Me: Do you mean "Renowned David's"?
C: Yeah. He said he bought too much stuff and he gave it to me, and then he asked if he could borrow my cat for the weekend, and I was a bad cat parent and I gave him to him, and then he left before I could get his phone number. Can you look at your cameras? I need to get a look at him.
Me: ...Our cameras don't cover that end of the Mall. You should really talk to "Renowned David's". And you should probably call the police.
C: OK. Thanks!
The mind boggles. None of that makes sense. Was this lady simply deranged? That seems like the easy answer, because I can't imagine any universe in which a stranger asking to borrow your cat for the weekend would be a reasonable request, let alone agreeing to such an exchange. I certainly wouldn't hand off my kitteh for two pizzas and a case of ramen.
Tale II: A Physically Impossible Act
The phone rang while I was at the CS counter and I answered it.
Me: Food Store Townsylvania, how can I help you?
C: I need to talk to the manager.
Me: I'm a shift supervisor, can I help you?
C: NO. Give me the manager.
Me: He's gone for the night. Can I take a message?
C: One of your shopping carts is on the curb in front of my house. You need to pick it up NOW, because I don't live in the ghetto. (I had to bite my tongue, because living close enough to the Store to have one of our carts in front of his house kinda means that he does live in the ghetto, but I digress.)
Me: Can I get your address?
C: X00th and Statesylvania Street.
Me: Alright, I'll leave a note for the manager and we'll pick up within the week. (We have a contractor that goes around the neighborhood once a week and picks up our abandoned carts.)
C: You're not listening. It's THE LAW that you have to get this now. (That's not a law, FTR, and if I had a nickel for every time a customer cited a non-existant law at me, Coinstar would have banned me for life for overloading their kiosks with nickels.)
Me: The manager won't be in until tomorrow mor...
C: I expect someone to be here within the hour. (hangs up)
The CS clerk came back from her lunch right about then, so I let her and the front end supervisor know about the guy and went back to stocking my grocery displays.
About half an hour later, the cart clerk passed by me on the way to the breakroom and asked if I'd talked to someone about a cart in front of their house. I said yes, and he said "Oh, HE MAD". Apparently, said caller had loaded the abandoned cart into the back of his pickup truck, driven to the store, thrown the cart out of the bed onto the pavement, then gotten in the cart clerk's face screaming about "THE LAW", and concluded by saying "If this happens again, I'm gonna find that manager who wouldn't send anyone out, and SHOVE THE CART UP HIS ASS".
It's gotten all around the Store that he threatened that against me. I'm pretty deadpan about these kinds of things, since I've been in the service industry for half my life and this was hardly the first time I've been threatened by a customer (I once had a man threaten to shoot me over a breakfast burrito). Everyone's been laughing about it, me included - my boss and I were both joking today that we should have the cart clerk go by his house and leave another cart there just to see what happens. Worst-case scenario; I end up on worker's comp and have to poop in a bag for the rest of my life.
Bonus WTF: That's Not What Those Are Called
Had a customer approach me the other day.
C: Do you have burritos?
Me: Frozen burritos, aisle 73.
C: No, not frozen. You know, burritos.
Me: I don't understand.
C: You know, burritos... (begins making a circular motion with his hands) ...the shells! Burritos!
Me: Do you mean tortillas?
C: Yeah, that's what they're called!
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