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I just want to be happy... And naked
When we closed the store at midnight we did the usual knock loudly on the bathroom doors to make sure nobody is still in there. There was silence so we assumed that it was empty... And we all know what they say about assuming.
So around 1am while I'm happily dancing around the store listening to my iPod and putting out stock, a wild human appears! Naked (and believe me he did not have the kind of body that warrants running around naked in public. Not that he was paper bag ugly or anything just really not my type)... And very much high as a kite.
Of course, due to legality reasons we are not allowed to touch him (hello sexual assault lawsuit assuming he even remembers) and we can't kick him out since he's a danger to himself and possibly others. We can't find his clothes, no idea where the hell he put them. The cops are called but since all he's doing is prancing around in his birthday suit and isn't harassing the staff aside from being an eyesore and occasionally pulling things of the shelf to run around with before putting away... (And at one memorable moment tried to 'set free' the lobsters... I kinda wish they didn't have elastic around their claws.) ...the cops take their sweet time.
Have you ever tried to stay professional (not burst into hysterical laughter FYI I did not succeed) when some skinny naked dude is leaning over the crab/lobster tank with his ass hanging free giggling while trying to catch lobsters? Either that's run and scream territory or laugh hysterically because it's just that ridiculous.
Just saying, if anyone wonders why we were late opening... That would be why. The store got a very very deep cleaning.
I wish I could say this is the first time someone ran around the store naked but..... At least the other person remained outside... And left when asked. Apparently "it [was] too cold to go outside." (So put some clothes on asshole)
So around 1am while I'm happily dancing around the store listening to my iPod and putting out stock, a wild human appears! Naked (and believe me he did not have the kind of body that warrants running around naked in public. Not that he was paper bag ugly or anything just really not my type)... And very much high as a kite.
Of course, due to legality reasons we are not allowed to touch him (hello sexual assault lawsuit assuming he even remembers) and we can't kick him out since he's a danger to himself and possibly others. We can't find his clothes, no idea where the hell he put them. The cops are called but since all he's doing is prancing around in his birthday suit and isn't harassing the staff aside from being an eyesore and occasionally pulling things of the shelf to run around with before putting away... (And at one memorable moment tried to 'set free' the lobsters... I kinda wish they didn't have elastic around their claws.) ...the cops take their sweet time.
Have you ever tried to stay professional (not burst into hysterical laughter FYI I did not succeed) when some skinny naked dude is leaning over the crab/lobster tank with his ass hanging free giggling while trying to catch lobsters? Either that's run and scream territory or laugh hysterically because it's just that ridiculous.
Just saying, if anyone wonders why we were late opening... That would be why. The store got a very very deep cleaning.
I wish I could say this is the first time someone ran around the store naked but..... At least the other person remained outside... And left when asked. Apparently "it [was] too cold to go outside." (So put some clothes on asshole)
He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.
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