Tweet
Hello hello! 
So I figure the best place to open this return of mine is a collection of stories from the aquarium. I have stories of all kinds from my three years working there, shitty coworkers, shitty managers, and of course, PLENTY of shitty customers, which is where I'll start today.
Ummmmm... What do?
The first one I'll start with is when I was 18 and keep in mind, I'd just gotten out of high school, I was stupid and didn't remotely know how to handle things. Well I'm standing at the desk and there's a man who comes into the shop. He's dressed almost like he's homeless and carrying a display board that's folded into thirds. You know, the kind you see at science fairs. This guy is constantly twitching and looking over his shoulders, it's pretty weird. I start following him and pretending to straighten things as I go along. Eventually he gets to the stairs which lead up to the rest of the aquarium and that's where I have to stop him.
Me: How are you, sir? Anything I can help you with?
PsychoGuy (PG): WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!!?!111?!?!!? WHAT WAS I DOING WRONG?!??!11?
Me:
Nothing sir! I just wanted to know if you needed help!
(PG): YOU STOPPED ME BECAUSE I DID SOMETHING!!!! WHAT DID I DOOOOOOO?!?!?!?!?
I quickly retreated to my desk and kept an eye on him. There was also a family (mom, dad, two kids) in there with a dad who's really eyeing this guy and putting himself in between PG and his family.
PG heads over to my desk and starts interrogating me again over why I stopped him. I'm terrified at this point and tell him I stopped him because he was close to the exit, which was only half the reason but eh, it got him to leave. The dad who was watching the guy before came up to me and said he could see why I stopped him, that guy was weird.
Having a couple more years of experience now and having told this story to a few people, pretty sure he had paranoid schizophrenia or something similar, it would explain a lot. I've had similar instances since, I eventually got to a point where I'd call a manager the millisecond I deemed a situation as something I'm not paid enough for.
Hold up, better call my lawyer then.
Now I'm not sure how long I'd been there by this point, but this is one I look back on fondly. An older woman came up to the desk and asked me if she could return some stuffed animals. Sure. She had receipt in hand, it was within our 90 day policy, but there was one little hitch.
She didn't have the animals with her that she wanted to return.
Ummmmmmmmm...... Yeah there's a problem there. I politely inform her of said problem and she doesn't seem to understand.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, I can't give you money back for items you don't have...
Old Bitch (OB): What do mean I don't have them?! I bought them I just don't have them with me at the moment! I'll come back another day and give them back, I just wanted to take care of the return today!
Me:
(Brain BSOD from this glorious example of logic)
And after taking a second to gather my thoughts
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, I'm afraid unless you have the products here with you then I can't do the return.
OB: (cat butt face) Well! See if I come back here again!!! (storms out the store)
But she gave one last parting shot before walking her oh-so-holy ass out the door.
OB: I'M REPORTING YOU ALL TO THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU!!!!!
K You do that then.
I still called the duty manager (Who happened to be the second in command, just under the store manager/ district manager <same guy btw) just to make sure my ass was covered. He was just as confused as I was. We never heard anything from BBB.
Wherein I have Spidey Senses for SCs
At some point while working at Shithole Aquarium I earned the nickname “The Crazy Magnet” from my coworkers. Lovely. Not that I didn't deserve the title. I had more weird stuff and oddities happen when I was on shift than anyone, to the point where even upper management knew about it! Over time I grew a sort of 6th sense when I was working. Somehow I'd inexplicably would know if I was going to get a problem customer. The sad thing is for the most part, I was right. This was one of those instances.
When I opened for the day I just got this horrible sense of foreboding. I just KNEW something was going to happen and I informed the opening duty manager (DM) of such. She just told me I needed to be more positive! What are the odds of a bad customer on a beautiful day like this!
Ha. Haha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh she'd eat those words.
Now one of Shithole Aquarium's biggest policies is checking ID when someone is using a card. Doesn't matter what they're buying or how small the purchase is. Yes, I've had to check ID for someone buying a $2 bottle of soda. I never broke this rule. Ever. Unfortunately not all my coworkers were the same. Admissions especially so. This sucked because they'd go all the way to the end and then have some bitch saying they can't make a purchase with the card they'd used before. I've had many an SC because of this and it drove me nuts. Although the managers usually would back me up on this for the most part. (I'll talk about that at some point)
Well things start off pretty standard, there's a woman and two kids buying some expensive play sets and other toys, so I'm excited for the near $250 sale I'm about to make. She gives me her card to pay and I ask for ID, standard stuff.
SC: It's not my card, it's my boss's.
Me: (giving the card back) I'm sorry but unfortunately I'm not allowed to use a card unless you have ID to match.
SC: Are you kidding?! I'm their babysitter! I have permission from their parents to use that card!
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am. Nothing I can do. This is a company-wide policy.
SC: Well I bought annual passes at the front with this card and there wasn't a problem!
(Fuck those guys.
)
Me: Ooooo.. Yikes. They really weren't allowed to do that.
SC: You know what? GET ME YOUR MANAGER!
Aaaaahhh those beautiful magic words. How I love thee!
DM (and this is the same POSITIVITY! woman from before): Hi! What can I do for you?
SC: Your employee isn't letting me use my card (Excuse me, YOUR card?) and they took it at the front just fine.
DM: Well do you have matching ID?
SC: No, because it's my bosses card, I'm the babysitter and I have permission to use it!
DM: Oh I'm sorry, we are not allowed to take your card unless you have matching ID or the card owner is here with you.
SC: I'm sorry, but can you get me your manager? (Now that's a first, props for determination, I guess)
DM: Fine by me!
What happened afterward was us waiting around for the assistant manager (Same manager in the previous story actually) and this lady REFUSES to move as the line grows longer. We had to open up another register because this bitch “was in a hurry”. Keep in mind for me to deal with her, call my manager, wait for her to show up, for my manager to deal with her, for my manager to call the assistant manager, and wait for HIM to show up has taken 15 minutes. Quite the big hurry, I can tell. I ended up giving DM the “I told you so” look. I knew we'd get one that day. I just knew it. Long, repetitive story short, he said the same thing everyone else involved did. She got her annual passes refunded and promised never to return. Good.
No one's THAT stupid right? Wrong.
Last one for the day! At one point I'd work the souvenir photo shop and it was a pretty chill shift. Just stand at the desk, chat with customers (or the guys at the touch pools in it was really slow since we were in the same room) and make some cool pictures. Well it's a slow day and there are only a couple of older ladies who are just at the end of their visit. I notice after a while they're staring at the “Elevator to Gift Shop and Exit” sign for a few minutes. Now, this is literally a sign POINTING to the elevator right to the left of it. There's no way you can fuck this up.
They found a way.
After about five minutes of staring at this sign, (which myself of course, being a shining example of customer service, didn't offer help and just watched to see what would happen) they finally walked over to me.
OW1 (Older Woman 1): Excuse me, but where is the elevator?
Keep in mind they were STARING AT IT AND IT'S LITERALLY LESS THAN 10 FEET AWAY!!!
Me: (Are you fucking kidding me?) Just right there ma'am!
OW2: Oh well there was a sign telling us to go that way! -points to the other side of the room- (granted in the direction the arrow was pointed, credit where credit is due)
Me:
Yes ma'am the sign is telling you the elevator is right there and where it goes.
OW1 and OW2: Oooooohhhh.
Yeah. Oooooohhhh.
Told this to another one of the managers, this one being known to ALWAYS side with customers or try to give a reason why they sucked. Even he couldn't defend this one. He just stared at me for a second and walked off going, “Yeah.... Yeah...” while nodding his head ever so slightly.
Well those are my stories for now! Hope you enjoyed because there's MANY more where that came from! As well as stories from moderating on Twitch and my current job as a supervisor (I guess that'd be the equivalent) of a small gift store.
So I figure the best place to open this return of mine is a collection of stories from the aquarium. I have stories of all kinds from my three years working there, shitty coworkers, shitty managers, and of course, PLENTY of shitty customers, which is where I'll start today.Ummmmm... What do?
The first one I'll start with is when I was 18 and keep in mind, I'd just gotten out of high school, I was stupid and didn't remotely know how to handle things. Well I'm standing at the desk and there's a man who comes into the shop. He's dressed almost like he's homeless and carrying a display board that's folded into thirds. You know, the kind you see at science fairs. This guy is constantly twitching and looking over his shoulders, it's pretty weird. I start following him and pretending to straighten things as I go along. Eventually he gets to the stairs which lead up to the rest of the aquarium and that's where I have to stop him.
Me: How are you, sir? Anything I can help you with?
PsychoGuy (PG): WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!!?!111?!?!!? WHAT WAS I DOING WRONG?!??!11?
Me:
Nothing sir! I just wanted to know if you needed help!(PG): YOU STOPPED ME BECAUSE I DID SOMETHING!!!! WHAT DID I DOOOOOOO?!?!?!?!?
I quickly retreated to my desk and kept an eye on him. There was also a family (mom, dad, two kids) in there with a dad who's really eyeing this guy and putting himself in between PG and his family.
PG heads over to my desk and starts interrogating me again over why I stopped him. I'm terrified at this point and tell him I stopped him because he was close to the exit, which was only half the reason but eh, it got him to leave. The dad who was watching the guy before came up to me and said he could see why I stopped him, that guy was weird.
Having a couple more years of experience now and having told this story to a few people, pretty sure he had paranoid schizophrenia or something similar, it would explain a lot. I've had similar instances since, I eventually got to a point where I'd call a manager the millisecond I deemed a situation as something I'm not paid enough for.
Hold up, better call my lawyer then.
Now I'm not sure how long I'd been there by this point, but this is one I look back on fondly. An older woman came up to the desk and asked me if she could return some stuffed animals. Sure. She had receipt in hand, it was within our 90 day policy, but there was one little hitch.
She didn't have the animals with her that she wanted to return.
Ummmmmmmmm...... Yeah there's a problem there. I politely inform her of said problem and she doesn't seem to understand.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, I can't give you money back for items you don't have...
Old Bitch (OB): What do mean I don't have them?! I bought them I just don't have them with me at the moment! I'll come back another day and give them back, I just wanted to take care of the return today!
Me:
(Brain BSOD from this glorious example of logic)And after taking a second to gather my thoughts
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, I'm afraid unless you have the products here with you then I can't do the return.
OB: (cat butt face) Well! See if I come back here again!!! (storms out the store)
But she gave one last parting shot before walking her oh-so-holy ass out the door.
OB: I'M REPORTING YOU ALL TO THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU!!!!!
K You do that then.
I still called the duty manager (Who happened to be the second in command, just under the store manager/ district manager <same guy btw) just to make sure my ass was covered. He was just as confused as I was. We never heard anything from BBB.
Wherein I have Spidey Senses for SCs
At some point while working at Shithole Aquarium I earned the nickname “The Crazy Magnet” from my coworkers. Lovely. Not that I didn't deserve the title. I had more weird stuff and oddities happen when I was on shift than anyone, to the point where even upper management knew about it! Over time I grew a sort of 6th sense when I was working. Somehow I'd inexplicably would know if I was going to get a problem customer. The sad thing is for the most part, I was right. This was one of those instances.
When I opened for the day I just got this horrible sense of foreboding. I just KNEW something was going to happen and I informed the opening duty manager (DM) of such. She just told me I needed to be more positive! What are the odds of a bad customer on a beautiful day like this!
Ha. Haha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh she'd eat those words.
Now one of Shithole Aquarium's biggest policies is checking ID when someone is using a card. Doesn't matter what they're buying or how small the purchase is. Yes, I've had to check ID for someone buying a $2 bottle of soda. I never broke this rule. Ever. Unfortunately not all my coworkers were the same. Admissions especially so. This sucked because they'd go all the way to the end and then have some bitch saying they can't make a purchase with the card they'd used before. I've had many an SC because of this and it drove me nuts. Although the managers usually would back me up on this for the most part. (I'll talk about that at some point)
Well things start off pretty standard, there's a woman and two kids buying some expensive play sets and other toys, so I'm excited for the near $250 sale I'm about to make. She gives me her card to pay and I ask for ID, standard stuff.
SC: It's not my card, it's my boss's.
Me: (giving the card back) I'm sorry but unfortunately I'm not allowed to use a card unless you have ID to match.
SC: Are you kidding?! I'm their babysitter! I have permission from their parents to use that card!
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am. Nothing I can do. This is a company-wide policy.
SC: Well I bought annual passes at the front with this card and there wasn't a problem!
(Fuck those guys.
)Me: Ooooo.. Yikes. They really weren't allowed to do that.
SC: You know what? GET ME YOUR MANAGER!
Aaaaahhh those beautiful magic words. How I love thee!
DM (and this is the same POSITIVITY! woman from before): Hi! What can I do for you?
SC: Your employee isn't letting me use my card (Excuse me, YOUR card?) and they took it at the front just fine.
DM: Well do you have matching ID?
SC: No, because it's my bosses card, I'm the babysitter and I have permission to use it!
DM: Oh I'm sorry, we are not allowed to take your card unless you have matching ID or the card owner is here with you.
SC: I'm sorry, but can you get me your manager? (Now that's a first, props for determination, I guess)
DM: Fine by me!
What happened afterward was us waiting around for the assistant manager (Same manager in the previous story actually) and this lady REFUSES to move as the line grows longer. We had to open up another register because this bitch “was in a hurry”. Keep in mind for me to deal with her, call my manager, wait for her to show up, for my manager to deal with her, for my manager to call the assistant manager, and wait for HIM to show up has taken 15 minutes. Quite the big hurry, I can tell. I ended up giving DM the “I told you so” look. I knew we'd get one that day. I just knew it. Long, repetitive story short, he said the same thing everyone else involved did. She got her annual passes refunded and promised never to return. Good.
No one's THAT stupid right? Wrong.
Last one for the day! At one point I'd work the souvenir photo shop and it was a pretty chill shift. Just stand at the desk, chat with customers (or the guys at the touch pools in it was really slow since we were in the same room) and make some cool pictures. Well it's a slow day and there are only a couple of older ladies who are just at the end of their visit. I notice after a while they're staring at the “Elevator to Gift Shop and Exit” sign for a few minutes. Now, this is literally a sign POINTING to the elevator right to the left of it. There's no way you can fuck this up.
They found a way.
After about five minutes of staring at this sign, (which myself of course, being a shining example of customer service, didn't offer help and just watched to see what would happen) they finally walked over to me.
OW1 (Older Woman 1): Excuse me, but where is the elevator?
Keep in mind they were STARING AT IT AND IT'S LITERALLY LESS THAN 10 FEET AWAY!!!
Me: (Are you fucking kidding me?) Just right there ma'am!
OW2: Oh well there was a sign telling us to go that way! -points to the other side of the room- (granted in the direction the arrow was pointed, credit where credit is due)
Me:
Yes ma'am the sign is telling you the elevator is right there and where it goes.OW1 and OW2: Oooooohhhh.
Yeah. Oooooohhhh.
Told this to another one of the managers, this one being known to ALWAYS side with customers or try to give a reason why they sucked. Even he couldn't defend this one. He just stared at me for a second and walked off going, “Yeah.... Yeah...” while nodding his head ever so slightly.
Well those are my stories for now! Hope you enjoyed because there's MANY more where that came from! As well as stories from moderating on Twitch and my current job as a supervisor (I guess that'd be the equivalent) of a small gift store.
Comment