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  • #1

    Fun with nurses

    So while this could kind of go into sickbay, it's more something that happened between colleagues and no suck, just absolute hilarity.

    Some of our lecturers are nurses and one of them is also in charge of arranging for other qualified folks to go out and hold workshops around the country.

    Today one of them mentioned to us in the breakroom that she'd lined up a workshop on male catheterization and jokingly asked for volunteers. Unfortunately, our very male IT manager walked in at that point. He gets filled in on the context and decides that now is a good time to make a hasty retreat

    I asked her if she could get a torso to use for practice and she said that unfortunately they're not the most realistic-looking. Shame really, since I needed a torso lined up to practice injections on (not me, the students)
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  • #2
    *runs*
    *runs so very far away*
    AkaiKitsune
    Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

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    • #3
      Now I'm imagining students injecting a dummy torso with various stuff, and wondering how they'd clean out the dummy afterwards.

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      • #4
        Quoth Mental_Mouse View Post
        Now I'm imagining students injecting a dummy torso with various stuff, and wondering how they'd clean out the dummy afterwards.
        Funny you mention that. We have these sponges that we use for it and I've been told by one of the head lecturers to bandage a bunch of those onto various body parts next week so the students can practise administering medications

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        • #5
          What the hell. I'd do it just to be helpful.
          Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.

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          • #6
            In 2014, my appendix ruptured. I am in the ER. They need a urine sample. Try as I might, I can't produce. The nurse says that they will have to catheterize me. I'm fine with that. She comes back and says that she got a small one to make it easier on me. I look at her and say "You haven't even seen it and you are already throwing insults?" She starts to stammer an apology as I start laughing. She is beet red and laughing her ass off with me as The Wife is yelling at me to behave.

            Not bad for someone who's blood pressure 15 minutes earlier was 60/40.
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            • #7
              cs -- You remind me of when my dad ended up in the hospital many many years ago and he had to be catheterized (turns out Slick Willy was backed up/had a blockage). The lovely lady nurse brought the tube to him and explained what was needed and where it was going to go, thusly:

              "Honey, we gonna stick this here catheter up yo tollywogger."

              As the tube appeared to be larger around than the hole it was to go in, his response was along the lines of "You will do no such thing..." -- until she reminded him of WHY: He hadn't been able to whizz in well over a week; as it turns out, the backup was making him sick.

              He eventually relented, found that the nurse was quick and professional, and insisted from that day on, the catheter was his new best friend.
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              • #8
                More amusement today!

                We have a dummy in our lab that I've nicknamed "Bob." The aim was for it to be used for teaching people who wanted to work in aged care, but not as nurses per se. That never eventuated. Bob looks creepy as sin, but that's beside the point.

                I also discovered today while moving him around that he is anatomically correct. More specifically, his penis has a tendency to come loose. He is also the ONLY anatomically correct dummy we have.
                I mention this to the two ACTUAL nurses I was working with today and we all just 'd.

                (for reference, this isn't the one we have, but it's pretty damn close)
                Last edited by LadyofArc; 01-22-2018, 06:27 AM.

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                • #9
                  Quoth LadyofArc View Post
                  More amusement today!
                  Indeed, apparently he has "detachable female and male genitalia", along with "injection pads" (sponges? ), and other variously alarming options.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Mental_Mouse View Post
                    ... "detachable female and male genitalia" ....
                    Oh whatever shall I wear to the club tonight?
                    NSFW: "Penis Envy" Uncle Bonsai
                    Last edited by dalesys; 01-22-2018, 02:08 PM.
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                    • #11
                      Quoth Mental_Mouse View Post
                      Indeed, apparently he has "detachable female and male genitalia", along with "injection pads" (sponges? ), and other variously alarming options.
                      Yeah, I was amazed at how lifelike those things can be. Our dummy has the pads in the thigh and butt but nowhere else. I believe they are more or less like sponges, but are configured in a way so that students can practice giving injections into something that doesn't resemble a kitchen sponge (as our students did today)

                      Bob is currently dressed up in a very gross pair of pajamas. I'm looking forward to the day when I'm allowed to go shopping to replace them - I can't exactly drag him along to the men's department at my local Kmart

                      We also have a couple of IV pumps in the clinical room...which would NOT shut up today. We eventually unplugged them (and found that they do NOT stop beeping when that happens!) and popped them in the storeroom to kill the battery quicker
                      Last edited by LadyofArc; 01-23-2018, 05:37 AM.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth LadyofArc View Post
                        Bob is currently dressed up in a very gross pair of pajamas.
                        It seems to me that "gross pajamas" or worse would be an entirely realistic hazard of EMT work! Ding them for letting the dirty clothes contaminate wounds etc.

                        For the pumps: You can't remove the batteries at all? That's bad. Assuming they're embedded rechargeables, they will eventually start losing capacity and (relatedly) voltage -- which can do really bad stuff to the rest of the electronics. If the pumps have a circuit especially for the purpose, they might just shut down with a warning(*)... if not, we're talking mysterious and erratic failures depending on recent usage, ambient temperature, and possibly the phase of the moon.

                        * For that matter, that might well be why they "wouldn't shut up". ETA: On the other hand, draining the batteries as flat as possible may help recover from the capacity loss, up to a point.
                        Last edited by EricKei; 01-24-2018, 05:58 PM. Reason: snip

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Mental_Mouse View Post
                          For the pumps: You can't remove the batteries at all? That's bad.
                          The battery will be behind a cover or something, not necessarily easily removed without tools. And I assure you that the biomed department will have strong words for anyone who goes unscrewing the covers on their gear.

                          There's some appropriate sequence to make the pump shut off, it's probably just not immediately obvious, because you don't want it happening accidentally.
                          Last edited by EricKei; 01-24-2018, 05:57 PM. Reason: snip
                          Life: Reality TV for deities. - dalesys

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Mental_Mouse View Post
                            ETA: On the other hand, draining the batteries as flat as possible may help recover from the capacity loss, up to a point.
                            Depends on the battery's chemistry. That was true for Ni-Cads, but not so much for Lithium-Ion batteries.
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                            • #15
                              Turns out the cause of it beeping was because it needed to be charged and we also discovered that the wall outlets in the lab do NOT work.

                              As for the "gross" pyjamas, it's more that they're ratty, old and the bottoms in particular have long-since lost their elastic, so more often than not, unless you position him just right, Bob ends up flashing all and sundry with his very loose penis

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