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"Can you please transfer me to someone with a heart?"

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  • "Can you please transfer me to someone with a heart?"

    I've been around call centers for the better part of 6 years now so there's not much that can surprise me, but this one came damn close.

    If you are wondering WHY I am such a heartless SOB here's the backstory:

    Guys house burned down and his phone was inside it at the time, thus completely destroyed. Okay, that sucks bro but hey, that's why we have insurance right?

    But of course you don't have insurance.

    So then he claims that someone at <Red Checkmark> told him we could replace the phone under the warranty and didn't seem to grasp the concept when I told him that to replace an item under a warranty it has to be, you know, NOT destroyed.

    Guy wouldn't give up, keeps telling me we told him we could do this and send him a $600 phone for free. I keep telling him that's not how it works and that's when he labeled me heartless. Yes, I am a cold hearted jackass because I won't let this poor SC rip us off to the tune of $600!

    If I didn't need this job so badly, I would have given him a really snarky response like: "Oh, I'm sorry sir, everyone here has been dead inside for some time now..."

    This gets better though. As you might guess he ended up demanding a manager, My manager promptly shut him down. He calls back an hour or so later...and gets the dude who sits THREE DESKS down from me, asks for a manager again.

    The stupidest part of all this? If the dude had not been a raging turdgoblin and actually treated me nicely, I may well have deemed it worth it to hook up him with up a free phone, albeit NOT a $600 one! He had a strong enough account history I could probably have sold my manager on it.

    But you come at me with an attitude like THAT? Hell no. Game over, dude. Pound sand.
    "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

  • #2
    Gee, sir, I really would love to give you a phone for free, even though it was uninsured and destroyed by something totally not the fault of either Red Checkmark or the manufacturer, but I skipped the lesson called "giving a shit about douchebags". So sorry.
    Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you speak with the Fraud department. -- CrazedClerkthe2nd
    OW! Rolled my eyes too hard, saw my brain. -- Seanette
    she seems to top me in crazy, and I'm enough crazy for my family. -- Cooper
    Yes, I am evil. What's your point? -- Jester

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    • #3
      Wouldn't his phone be covered on home and contents insurance? *looks at name of site* Oh yes. Never mind.
      "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

      Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

      The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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      • #4
        Can afford an expensive phone but can't swing insurance? Yup. Sounds like a man who hasn't been told no much.
        Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.

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        • #5
          I'll transfer you to someone with a heart if you transfer me to someone with a brain.
          Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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          • #6
            Quoth notalwaysright View Post
            I'll transfer you to someone with a heart if you transfer me to someone with a brain.

            B-B-B-B-But that would take courage...!

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            • #7
              Quoth Deserted View Post
              ...but I skipped the lesson called "giving a shit about douchebags". So sorry.
              The lesson was a short one anyway. The rubric was just the phrase, "Don't do it." over and over again.

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              • #8
                Quoth notalwaysright View Post
                I'll transfer you to someone with a heart if you transfer me to someone with a brain.
                BURN [/KELSO]
                AkaiKitsune
                Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Monterey Jack View Post
                  B-B-B-B-But that would take courage...!
                  Cour-rah-he.

                  /Dan Rather
                  Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                  "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                  • #10
                    Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
                    Guys house burned down and his phone was inside it at the time, thus completely destroyed. Okay, that sucks bro but hey, that's why we have insurance right?

                    But of course you don't have insurance.
                    Quoth greek_jester View Post
                    Wouldn't his phone be covered on home and contents insurance? *looks at name of site* Oh yes. Never mind.
                    What makes you think he had insurance on his home and contents?

                    I wonder who he called to get a new house and furnishings for free?
                    "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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                    • #11
                      His phone absolutely could have been covered on home insurance... Unless he was renting and had no renters insurance... Still, even if it was covered, what's to say he doesn't decide to call the cell company to try to get a freebie so he can pocket the insurance money?

                      He'd just love me. I have no compassion for sob stories. So life kicks you in the teeth. Random companies and strangers have no obligation to give you stuff. Ask nicely, and a stranger might feel some sort of emotion (or so I'm told) and do something nice for you. Be demanding, and a stranger might dig their heels in and give you less than nothing.
                      Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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                      • #12
                        You are all assuming that he was telling the truth about the fire.
                        Life is too short to not eat popcorn.
                        Save the Ales!
                        Toys for Tots at Rooster's Cafe

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                        • #13
                          Honestly I think he probably did have home insurance he was just trying to play us so he could get the phone replaced a lot sooner. Less red tape for him to deal with if it worked.
                          "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

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                          • #14
                            raging turdgoblin
                            This is the best phrase to describe a ranting moron that I've ever seen and I'm soooo stealing it!
                            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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