Have you ever felt done?

[Moirae]

Like... I just don't want to do this anymore kind of done?

I've worked in the hotel industry since 2002. There was a time when I said I was going to do this for life. But I'm finding I just don't care anymore. I don't want to get up at crazy hours, I don't want to be running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I don't want shift work. I just want a steady 9-5 that pays relatively decent monday to friday. And I don't want to drive 45 minutes to get there.

I'm so burned out. I can lie real well about how great it is, but it's all a lie. I don't care.

[mjr]

Emphatically, yes! I have felt that way.

I still have the occasional "bad day" even at my tech job where I wish I was rich enough to not have to work.

But my "I'm done" basically came from a previous tech job, and my time in factory work and food service. I appreciate the hard work those individuals do, but I got to a point where I just couldn't take it anymore.

[Nunavut Pants]

I do, and I'm in a 9-to-5 type job. I'm not sure how much of it is due to my depression, though.

[morgana]

Oh, man, yes . . .

[Arcus]

After being put on probation for 6 weeks because they forget that I told them that my injured back was causing me to work a bit slower, I'm at the "F this! I'm so done here!" stage. I loved the company I work for before that. Now, I don't care at all. If I could walk out the door on them right now and know my bills would be paid, I would run through the building throwing chicken nuggets in the air yelling "Fly and be free!"

[MoonCat]

Oh hell yeah. There were times at my old job when I felt that way. Usually due to a combo of toxic managers, idiot co-workers, and PITA customers. Of course at this point I wish I had that job back, but that's not gonna happen.

And then in the accounting job, when I knew damn well it was a bad fit and everyone said oh you can handle it! And I COULDN'T. No matter how hard I tried, and I did try my best. Even the accounting managers told me they could see I was working really hard, and trying, but...by the time they let me go, I wanted out of there so bad that I couldn't even finish the 6 month probationary period, which they told me I could if I wanted to. The dread of knowing I had to go to work in the morning literally made me sick.

[Moirae]

See, that's the thing, I CAN do this. Easily. I'm learning nothing, managers and owners are all either batshit crazy, or selfish assholes. It's changed from what it used to be when I started. Now it's all about the almighty dollar and putting down everyone around you. And the whole industry has become this. Promoting people who kiss ass the best but don't know what they are doing while everyone else picks up the slack, that sort of thing.

I just feel so tired. And it doesn't matter what job it is in this industry. I'm tired of the fight. Some days I just don't want to get out of bed. But I'm 42 years old. Some will say that's young but the reality is that it's only 8 years from 50. Trying to start over in a new career could totally screw me because ageism exists no matter what others say. I feel trapped.

I don't know what to do. We have no money left in the bank due to this blood sucking car we have and some serious problems with my health and job situation in the last six years (I've been fired 5 times. Yep 5. Three of those from the same damned employer now I'm back working there again). I feel like I can't do anything right anymore.

And now I'm on anxiety medicine and depression medicine too. Granted the anxiety has been a problem since I was a child, and the depression medicine was meant to deal with the surgically induced early menopause. The last three years especially have been hell.

I just so feel done. I want to stop working and stay at home. Work on myself for a while so I can feel better. But I can't do that and we afford to live, it's just not an option.

Like I said, I feel trapped. But I feel done too.

[Victory Sabre]

Yes, and if I weren't an owner, I would have walked a whole hell of a long time ago.

I'm really starting to do the math on how much debt I'd have if I did walk now, that's how done I am.

[Moirae]

Yes, and if I weren't an owner, I would have walked a whole hell of a long time ago.

I'm really starting to do the math on how much debt I'd have if I did walk now, that's how done I am.

You're an owner? What business? Not name, just type.

[Victory Sabre]

You're an owner? What business? Not name, just type.

Restaurant.

And frankly, it was the worst decision of my life. I've wasted 13 years of my life (so far), and just have over 20k of credit card debt from this business, and still have 2 more years on the damn lease.

If I thought there was any chance that I'd make my fortune doing this, I'd, at least, enjoy it. I won't, and I don't.

I have no clue how I'm going to get out of this mess. I work all the time, get next to no pay - when I even get paid, and have no life - no chance to date, and gave up any chance of marriage and family be doing this. I'm 45, and I've blown the best years of my life with this clusterfuck.

It's a complete disaster, and I've had it.

[Arcus]

I'm 45, and I've blown the best years of my life with this clusterfuck.

I'm right there with you. I'm 46. I know I will never find love. I will never have a family. I will never be able to buy my own home. I'm trapped helping to care for my father as he battles MS. I work, go home, care for my dad, go to bed and do it all again. And my nieces bitch me out because they think I don't do enough for my parents. They can't be bothered to drive 10 miles to visit them once a week. When they do visit, they stay for 2 hours so they can get a free meal. Somehow they got it in their heads that I'm just being lazy.

[Blue Ginger]

I just want to send you all hugs and cookies.

I've been at that point a few times. I even did the walk out thing that everyone dreams of. Dear dog it felt good. It still gives me the warm and fuzzies when I think about it.

I wish that you all had the social security safety net that we have here in Oz. Our unemployment system is the only thing that is keeping me going at the moment. It is not luxury spending money. But it is enough for me to tread water while trying to sort out the mess that is my brain and where I want to go from here.

[Moirae]

Why don't you sell it Victory? It isn't worth the stress. I know how much work a restaurant is, my husbands best friend is the General Manager of a restaurant in Atlanta. He says most days he works 18 hours and not nearly enough pay.

I want to be a business owner. I used to want it to be in my industry. Now I don't want it anymore. I want the ability to determine my hours, who I work with, to say no. I'm looking into being a virtual assistant. I need out.

I hope you guys find someone you can spend your lives with. Nothing is worth spending it without love. I'm happily married, I just don't like anything to do with my "career" anymore.

[Victory Sabre]

Why don't you sell it Victory? It isn't worth the stress. I know how much work a restaurant is, my husbands best friend is the General Manager of a restaurant in Atlanta. He says most days he works 18 hours and not nearly enough pay.

I want to be a business owner. I used to want it to be in my industry. Now I don't want it anymore. I want the ability to determine my hours, who I work with, to say no. I'm looking into being a virtual assistant. I need out.

I hope you guys find someone you can spend your lives with. Nothing is worth spending it without love. I'm happily married, I just don't like anything to do with my "career" anymore.

Can't. No one would buy it, with all the debt. There's other issues as to why i can't, but I can't go into them.

At least the lease is up in 2 years, so that's the latest I'll be out of it, and then I can move on with my life. Hopefully I can find something, or come up with something to do to make my fortune.

The only good thing is I've learned a lot form my mistakes doing this, and WON'T repeat said mistakes.

[DeltaSierra]

I feel for you and wish I could give you hugs too. I've been there too. I left a good paying middle management job 2 years ago (at the age of 45) because I couldn't take the stress, stupidity, and asinine decisions made by the higher-ups as they chased the all-mighty dollar. I was tired of being the only manager in a multi-million dollar sales store, and being expected to run the store with *one* cashier. That meant ordering, deliveries, stocking, paperwork, banking, etc. Shortly before I left I ended up having to work 21 days straight because my manager decided that working 3 days a week was too much so she needed "a break."

Let me tell you something I learned - I changed jobs and work 4 10's and make approx $15,000 less. And I've never been happier. Its not a "career" type job, its physically demanding at times, but I'm 1000x less stressed and its nice to go home knowing that I won't dread going in the next morning not knowing what I'd be walking into. You CAN make the change, your age isn't as much as a crutch as you might think it is. If you can get by on less money then do it, especially if it means less stress. I didn't realize until afterwards that I was killing myself - my body was shutting down from all the stress, the pain, the loss of sleep, and I was getting sick all the time. Sit down, take control, and look at what really matters. I realize I will probably have to work well past 65, but at least I'll be alive to do it. I don't think I would have if I'd stayed at my old job.