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There's a what in the where now?

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  • There's a what in the where now?

    Last week, I was working a typical 3:30-midnight floor shift at the Store. As is often the case, I had finished up the work assigned to that shift shortly after 10 PM, and was walking the store looking for anything else I could do that would justify my being there and getting paid until the graveyard supervisor got there and I could leave - pulling cardboard, dealing with spills, touching up anything I'd stocked earlier that had sold down, et cetera.

    Having dealt with all of that, I started cleaning up the front end of the Store when I was approached by a gentleman who had to be at least in his 70s - well-aged, conservatively dressed, wearing a Vietnam Vet cap. He was pushing his cart towards the exit when he saw me and got my attention, and the following conversation ensued;

    C: Hey, excuse me.
    Me: How can I help you?
    C: There's something you need to look into.
    Me: What's that?
    C: I went into the men's room just now, to empty my bladder, and there's a gay-lib orgy going on in there.
    Me: .........I'm sorry, what's that?
    C: A gay-lib orgy.
    Me: ... I see.
    C: It's not what's supposed to be going on in there.
    Me: ...I'll look into that.

    And then he left.

    I immediately stepped into the men's room to investigate these claims. One of the stalls was in use, but I observed no orgies, gay-lib or otherwise, occurring within those premises.

    The whole affair baffles me. Was he trying to make a joke? Was he confused? Was he sent by God? How could he have known the politicial affiliation of the gay orgy participents? What was I meant to do with this information? I was given no training on what to do in the event of a gay-lib orgy!

    At least even if there had been a gay-lib orgy in our men's room, it'd have been at most the second-worst thing to happen in one of the Store's locations this month.

  • #2
    "I was given no training on what to do in the event of a gay-lib orgy!"

    As an employee, you would not be allowed to join in, however, it is your job to hand out towels and breath mints as needed.

    "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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    • #3
      At a quick guess, he saw two men holding hands, or possibly even kissing. Who then went on their way as he stalked off to make his outrage known...

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      • #4
        "You shot who in the what, now?"

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        • #5
          Smapti, that subsidiary story was rather gruesome. Glad it wasn't your store!

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          • #6
            Just when you thought you've heard it all
            I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

            Who is John Galt?
            -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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            • #7
              Quoth Smapti View Post
              There's a what in the where now?
              (smiles)
              (cracks knuckles)
              (prepares to type)--

              Quoth Monterey Jack View Post
              "You shot who in the what, now?"
              --aw, zoddammit.
              PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

              There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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              • #8
                Many,many, years go, an older man entered the men's room of our store, and sexually assaulted a younger man, who then committed a battery on the older fellow.

                It turned out that some magazine had proclaimed the men's room at our store in Podunk City the place to meet other men for trysts. The older man, going on this, simply assumed that he was the last to know...*everyone* must know if he did. Everyone, except the young man just trying to relieve himself. And us, we were clueless too.

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                • #9
                  Quoth workerbee222 View Post
                  Many,many, years go, an older man entered the men's room of our store, and sexually assaulted a younger man, who then committed a battery on the older fellow.

                  It turned out that some magazine had proclaimed the men's room at our store in Podunk City the place to meet other men for trysts. The older man, going on this, simply assumed that he was the last to know...*everyone* must know if he did. Everyone, except the young man just trying to relieve himself. And us, we were clueless too.
                  DAMN...I...I got nothing.
                  "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

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                  • #10
                    The circle jerk is Wed nights, you do need reservations.
                    Last edited by EricKei; 08-31-2018, 09:49 PM.
                    AkaiKitsune
                    Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

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                    • #11
                      "I went into the men's room just now, to empty my bladder, and there's a gay-lib orgy going on in there."

                      I need to know where this gay-lib orgy is so I can jo- I mean do research.
                      This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                      I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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