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You're NOT my only customer, dammit!

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  • You're NOT my only customer, dammit!

    The way it works with our system is that once I get a complaint from a customer (FCC, FTC, BBB, etc), the system automatically sends them a message with my info stating I am working on said complaint.

    So many times, before I have even LAID EYES ON THE COMPLAINT, customers get a heads up that I am "working on it".

    This means that sometimes they call me before I've even had a chance to research the situation and figure out what we need to do.

    This particular SC called me TEN MINUTES after his complaint file popped into my system.

    Me: Hello, thank you for calling the <Red Checkmark> executive team, how may I help you?
    SC: Are you going to give me my $600?
    Me: I'm sorry what?
    SC: The money. ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME MY MONEY?!
    Me: Well, I don't know who you are soooo...
    SC: John Doe. MR. JOHN DOE. You should know who I am because I just got this message saying you were working on my file. So am I getting my money or not?
    Me: I'm sorry, Mr. Doe, I haven't had a chance to look at your file yet I was wrapping up several other files before I got to yours.
    SC: How dare you.
    Me: What?
    SC: How are you put ANYONE ahead of me!
    Me:
    Me: Sir, I work multiple complaints a day. I try to get to the new ones as quickly as I can. If you read that alert you got, you might notice it states someone will reach out to you in 24 hours.
    SC: Not in my case. This is a priority matter, asshole.
    Me: (sighing internally) The language is not necessary. I apologize for your frustration. Let me take a look at your account.
    (I go into the guys account and it's a MESS. Problems since April. Notes everywhere, five calls to different supervisors in the last week alone. In other words, this one is going to take me awhile)
    Me: Okay, there's a lot going on here. It's going to take me some time to look through all this.
    SC: How about you save us both a lot of time and just give me my $600?
    Me: Sir, I can't just give you $600 without determining whether or not it's justified. It doesn't work that way.
    SC: You have a bad attitude.
    Me:
    Me: How so?
    SC: How so?! Customer service, dude! I'm the CUSTOMER. You are supposed to give me what I want.
    Me: You are ONE of my customers, you are not my ONLY customer. I promise I will give you the same attention I give them and do my best to resolve your complaint...after I have time to research your account.
    SC: Fine, buddy. Fine. We'll do it your way. But I'm counting the minutes...and I swear to God if you try and blow me off I'll have your job by next week! *CLICK!*

    Guess who has been calling back every hour on the hour since? Thank god I have caller ID so I can ignore his sorry ass but give me a break!

    I will say the vast majority of my customers are fine with the 24 hour wait. It's just the select few, like this nimrod, who think the world revolves around them and we should drop everything for them.
    "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

  • #2
    Argh, can I by chance have a mod update the "You" in the thread title to "You're"? Thanks in advance.


    mod edit:
    Last edited by EricKei; 09-25-2018, 01:34 AM.
    "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

    Comment


    • #3
      "I'll have your job by next week!"
      "You wouldn't last five minutes in my job, but you're welcome to try."
      Supporting the idiots charged with protecting your personal information.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
        ... like this nimrod, who think the world revolves around them ...
        They have a spelling confusion between axle and what they really are.
        I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
        Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
        Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

        Comment


        • #5
          So, did he get his precious money?

          Comment


          • #6
            How about now, has he got it now? Or now?
            This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
            I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

            Comment


            • #7
              For some reason I really think this claim will be delayed then turned down.
              AkaiKitsune
              Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth ReadyToRetire View Post
                So, did he get his precious money?
                Or was his service cancelled?
                I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                Who is John Galt?
                -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
                  How about now, has he got it now? Or now?
                  Fat Tony wants to know:

                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fayTpKCQd5M
                  Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You don't like my attitude? Feel free to file a complaint, someone will get back to you in 24 hours.
                    D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
                    Quoth = Crossbow "EvilHomer, Irv, Gravekeeper, and Seraph: the Four Horsemen of the Dumbpocalypse."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth evilhomer View Post
                      You don't like my attitude? Feel free to file a complaint, someone will get back to you in 24 hours.
                      Hopefully it's the demon trapped in Crowley's ansaphone. That'd be a good omen for the rest of us.
                      I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                      Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                      Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth otakuneko View Post
                        "I'll have your job by next week!"
                        "You wouldn't last five minutes in my job, but you're welcome to try."


                        Oh, that's GOOD. I may have to try that sometime.
                        "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Also...

                          UPDATE: After a lengthy account review, he is due some money from us, but only around $200. At some point he managed to morph that into $600. My call back is set for tomorrow. Someone's not going to be happy...
                          "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Please tell us that all calls are recorded. Pretty please? Because this guy is going to a) go ballistic, b) go nuts, c) threaten to sue for the $600 he is 'owed' or d) have a melt down.
                            A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read. - Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Blue Ginger View Post
                              Please tell us that all calls are recorded. Pretty please? Because this guy is going to a) go ballistic, b) go nuts, c) threaten to sue for the $600 he is 'owed' or and d) have a melt down.
                              Fixed that for you.
                              This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                              I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

                              Comment

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