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Busted! (Or: In Which I May Have Destroyed a Marriage)

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  • Busted! (Or: In Which I May Have Destroyed a Marriage)

    A lot of the time, if I'm on shift and whoever's working the customer service counter can't understand someone on the phone, I get called up to take the call. I'm no Professor Henry Higgins, but I seem to have a knack for understanding people on the phone when the connection is bad or they've got a really thick accent. I attribute it to having grown up in a city with a very large and diverse immigrant population, along with having spent the first decade of my working life in drive-thru restaurants where I had to make sense of people with all kinds of accents and in all sorts of stages of inebriation.

    I got called up to take one of those calls tonight. The name on the caller ID was a very common Arab Muslim name (I only mention this because it's important to the story). I answer and I hear a woman's voice with an accent matching the name. She tells me that she and her husband came to the store on Saturday to do some shopping, and she was looking over the receipt today, and she saw something they paid for that she didn't think they bought.

    A lot of the time, situations like this are just confusion on the part of the customer. It's rare that someone gets rung up for something that wasn't theirs, although it can happen - maybe an item is leaning over the divider on the conveyor belt and the cashier scans it onto the wrong order, something like that. Most of the time, though, it's because the way the product name is abbreviated on the receipt is unfamiliar to the customer. I ask her what the product is that she's concerned about. She tells me that she doesn't know what it is or how to pronounce it, so I ask her to spell it out for me.

    She spells it out; B-U-S-C-H S-H-O-C-K T-O-P, for $14.88.

    Maybe it's because I've done much too much drinking in my years, but I didn't need to pause a second to identify the product. Shock Top is a brand of wheat beer produced by Anheuser-Coors under the Busch label, and at the price she quoted me, it was probably a 12-pack. I tell her that that's a 12-pack of beer and ask her if they bought any beer during their visit.

    With a combination of surprise and indignation, she tells me "ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

    At this point I'm not really sure what to do with my limited authority, so I tell her to bring her receipt in tomorrow during the hours when the Store Manager will be in, so he can decide what he wants to do about it. She agrees and we hang up.

    Now, I know this isn't universally true and it varies from country to country and culture to culture (and I'm trying my best not to say anything prejudicial here), but many Muslims have strong beliefs about abstaining from alcohol. The best assessment I could come to from this call was that this woman was from such a culture, her husband had been somehow slipping beer into the shopping cart and buying it without her knowledge, and she was just now finding out over the phone from me that he might not be as devout as she thought he was.

    Best case scenario: He's sleeping on the couch tonight.

  • #2
    or they didn't use the blocky thingy and someone got free beer
    AkaiKitsune
    Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

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    • #3
      I think, if the gentleman bought the beer, then it's possible that he damaged the marriage, not the OP.

      If it is indeed the case that they follow a faith that has a "no alcohol" restriction and the wife follows it but apparently the husband doesn't.
      Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

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      • #4
        Nah, you don't get the credit for destroying the marriage. Now you DO get the credit for delivering the bad news about who did.

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        • #5
          Yep, I agree. You miss out on the "destroyed marriage" square on CS bingo.
          Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you speak with the Fraud department. -- CrazedClerkthe2nd
          OW! Rolled my eyes too hard, saw my brain. -- Seanette
          she seems to top me in crazy, and I'm enough crazy for my family. -- Cooper
          Yes, I am evil. What's your point? -- Jester

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          • #6
            Yeah, agreed. You were simply the unwitting messenger. If the guy violated the strictures, that's on him.
            "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
            "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
            "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
            "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
            "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
            "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
            Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
            "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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            • #7
              It's entirely possible there's an innocent explanation too; how often have we paid friends for odd jobs with a bottle of booze? Just because they don't partake, doesn't mean all their friends are of the same persuasion. Still not for us to worry about.

              As for taking credit, unless you put that in their cart and snuck it past both their noses before either saw it, I'm afraid you don't win a prize either.
              This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
              I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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              • #8
                If I am correct, Smspti's store has video. Someone may want to see that. Not sure if they would let her.
                Life is too short to not eat popcorn.
                Save the Ales!
                Toys for Tots at Rooster's Cafe

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                • #9
                  Quoth Buzzard View Post
                  Nah, you don't get the credit for destroying the marriage. Now you DO get the credit for delivering the bad news about who did.
                  Aww, can't I have this one? I'm not even going to get to ruin Christmas this year at this rate.

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                  • #10
                    Now if you "saw" the guy crack open a can as he got outside... THEN you get the credit.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Buzzard View Post
                      Now if you "saw" the guy crack open a can as he got outside... THEN you get the credit.
                      Only if Smapti handed him the can
                      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                      • #12
                        Killing it would be if you asked if he also liked the Pork Rinds he bought with cash with the beer.
                        AkaiKitsune
                        Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          "Don't forget your pepperoni pizza, sir... Sir?"
                          This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                          I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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                          • #14
                            Even if it's not a religious or cultural issue, it could be a money issue plain and simple. You know, a family is strapped for cash and the husband goes out and wastes money on beer, the wife finds out and is pissed because little Johnny needs a winter coat or something.

                            I remember this lady who would buy a bunch of fabric and then her husband would drag her back weeks later to make her return it. We finally had so much trouble with these returns for a bunch of reasons that the manager said no more returns on cut fabric period. And this was Old Manager who would let customers do nearly anything, so you know it was bad.
                            Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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                            • #15
                              If he WAS buying the beer -- whether for himself or somebody else -- it sounds as if he's gonna have some 'splainin' to do ...
                              Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
                              ~ Mr Hero

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