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  • Malicious Donut Shinanegans

    Waaaaaay back in the day I used to work at a certain well-known Canadian donut store names after a hockey player...

    Anyhow, I had already been there more than a year, so my boss had me on the later shifts. It was a really quiet night (I think it was a Tuesday) and we were running low on a few types of donuts, but since it was not the most popular flavors and we did not want to have to throw out a bunch at the end of the night, we did not make any more. (This was right after Timmy's switched from fresh, preservative free donuts made on site to frozen, chemical filled donuts sent to us from a factory)
    Anyhow, a woman came in with her friend in search of donutty goodness. She ordered a tea, bag on the side (important) and a walnut crunch (a turd-shaped chocolate donut studded with walnuts.)
    So I check the wall, and we are all out of walnut crunches. I tell her this, and she gets quite agitated. She asks if we have any more in the back. I tell her no. She insists I go check. I do so. Not one left. She asks if we will make more. Well, no it is 5 in the evening, we don't generally make any more donuts at this point. So, she is very bitchy about not being able to have her chocolatey walnut turd. I made up her tea, and since I was a bit flustered at this point, I accidentally put the bag in. My bad, I made her a new one the way she asked for it at no charge. But MAN was she annoyed.

    Anyhow, she and her friend sat around the store for THREE HOURS, chatting. They didn;t buy any more food either. Normally we would kick people out after 20 minutes, but if it is not busy, we let people stay as long as they care too. At about 7pm, we got slammed, so we actually had to make more donuts. Including walnut crunches. Dear Goddess, when she saw me carry that tray out, she turned purple!
    She flounced out of the store, and I thought that was the end of it. Oh no, not so!


    A week later I was chatting with my boss, and he asked me if I had served a lady who bought a walnut chrunch and a tea. Apparently she had called our head office and said I had lied to her and was maliciously HIDING DONUTS IN THE BACK OF THE STORE? She also said I was rude (not true), and I 'adulterated' her drink on purpose. (Honest mistake, I made you a new one, and come on it is not like I sneezed in it, it was a tea bag!)

    End of story, the woman came in, our manager had to apologise, refund her money (under $2 for a tea and donut) and give her $10 in gift certificates. What a bitch!

  • #2
    Mmmmmmm...adulterated tea and chocolatey walnut turds.

    Technically just putting the teabag into the water isn't adulterating it. Wouldn't you have to add something that wasn't supposed to be there?
    Oh sorry, my bad, I was using common sense - not SC sense.


    And then...Since she did the same thing that you had done minutes earlier, shouldn't she be considered guilty of adulterating her own drink?


    And why, when I typed that last sentence, did I hear the Law&Order dunk-dunk sound in my head?
    Last edited by justZu; 05-24-2007, 04:37 PM.

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    • #3
      You think of Law & Order while the theme song for CSI plays in my head. The Las Vegas one, not the other one.
      "But I don't want to be among mad people."
      You can't help that. We're all mad here. Every fucking one of us.

      Comment


      • #4
        I call dibs on Pheonix Wright's OBJECTION!
        Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

        "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

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        • #5
          Quoth Emmeileia View Post
          So, she is very bitchy about not being able to have her chocolatey walnut turd.
          HAHAHA the quotes I can get from this site

          best line ever!
          I wasnt put on this earth to make you feel like a man ~ Mary Bertone

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          • #6
            I just love the title of this thread.......

            Donut Shenanigans....

            Yes, what those donuts do when we're in the other room and they are certain we aren't looking or listening.

            I hear donuts throw the best keggers.
            You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

            Comment


            • #7
              A similar thing happened to me at the cafe once. I told this lady we only had apple pie, because I didn't want to put out the lemon meringue until the apple one was sold. Every time we offered lemon meringue, everyone wanted that one, and then whatever other pie we had would go stale, and this was already day two for the apple.
              So she was really cranky because I told her we didn't have lemon meringue. And then I had this completely unprecedented run on apple pie, we sold out....and you guessed it, I HAD to start offering the lemon to other customers.
              I headed off the situation by going over to her table, explaining that the lemon meringue was not available before, but is now ready to be served, and would she still like a piece? She gets that suck-a-lemon face (no pun intended) and she's just about to snap, I can tell. So I told her that I'd just wrap a piece up for her to take home, on the house.
              That stopped her dead. If I hadn't been proactive, we may have ended up giving her a whole lot more in freebies than just a slice of pie.

              If you have to ask, it's probably better posted at www.fratching.com

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              • #8
                [QUOTE=justZu;132567}

                And why, when I typed that last sentence, did I hear the Law&Order dunk-dunk sound in my head?[/QUOTE]

                Law and Order: SCU!

                Nightime at the call centre. A lone janitor empties a trash can. Suddenly, a blood-curddling scream rings out from a cubicle!

                *announcer voice*

                In the American retail system, there are two seperate, yet equally important groups. The employees who provide goods and services and the SC's who give them heck.

                These are their stories...


                Benson and Stabler examine a body in a cubicle.

                B: The vic was a CSR here?
                S: Yes, it appears the victim stabbed themselves in both ears with pencils and poured bleach on their brain...
                B: But why?
                S: Well, the last customer the victim spoke to apparently flushed their cell down the toilet, and was upset the warranty would not cover it.
                B: Ah. Case closed!

                fin.


                Damn...too much time on my hands and caffeine in my brain...

                Comment


                • #9
                  That's it, you're buying me a new laptop screen!

                  I'm a fellow Law and Order addict.......your little analogy not only soaked my laptop but nearly made me wet myself.
                  You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Shironu-Akaineko View Post
                    I call dibs on Pheonix Wright's OBJECTION!
                    I loved that game.

                    I never actually did it, but I could get the game to respond to my calling out "Objection." Nekojin couldn't get it to recognize his call out, though. But I always wimped out and used the controls to object. Can you imagine being out in public and saying "Take that!" at your DS?

                    ^-.-^
                    Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Emmeileia View Post
                      Law and Order: SCU!

                      Nightime at the call centre. A lone janitor empties a trash can. Suddenly, a blood-curddling scream rings out from a cubicle!

                      *announcer voice*

                      In the American retail system, there are two seperate, yet equally important groups. The employees who provide goods and services and the SC's who give them heck.

                      These are their stories...

                      Damn...too much time on my hands and caffeine in my brain...
                      My turn! My turn! (warning: long)

                      A red-headed female returns to her cubicle at 12:45 to pck up a forgotton cell phone she left behind. On her way back out to the parking lot, she sees a female with long blonde hair just slumped over her desk, as if she was sleeping. But something's not right. The red-head takes a closer look. The mice all scurry back to their holes as an ear-piercing scream is heard throughout the building.

                      Grissom and Sara examine the crime scene.

                      Sara: Phone cord's wrapped around her neck. Strangulation maybe?
                      Grissom: Maybe. But there's a large bruise on her forehead.
                      Sara: She put up a struggle as her attacker was strangling her?
                      Grissom: Or the attacker knocked her unconscience than strangled her. Let's see what the Doc has to say about this first.
                      *Nick walks in*
                      Nick: I just talked to the woman who found the body.
                      Grissom: And?
                      Nick: Vic's name is Usagi Tsukino. According to the woman back there, Jazz Fenton, an angry caller, who identified himself as Vlad Plasmius, demanded a free cell phone or he would cancel his contract. After that, Miss Tsukino recieved a call from an Ember McLaine demanding they eliminte the charges for internet service on her cell phone, or she would cancel her contract. The last call was from a Johnny 13 demanding that they cancel his girlfriend's contract, but didn't have the information needed to verify the account.
                      Grissom: So any one of them could be suspects.
                      Nick: Catherine's with the manager, Nikolai Technus. They're reviewing the security tapes.
                      Grissom: I guess we better join them.
                      *In the security room*
                      Catherine: Oh good. You're here. We're just about to see the security guard and have a look at those tapes. Oh, here he is now.
                      *Manager and security guard come up*
                      Grissom: You must be Mr. Technus. And you are?
                      Guard: Walker. I am the sheriff, executioner, judge, executioner, jury, and if necessary, the executioner.
                      Catherine: You said executioner three times.
                      Walker: I like that part of the job.
                      Grissom: Can we just see the tapes please?
                      *Views tapes*
                      Catherine: Well, apparently the vic, upon finishing her final call, banged her head on the desk. No doubt trying to rid her brain of the stupidity she was forced to hear. Then she took the phone and wrapped the cord around her neck.
                      Grissom: Another retail victim.
                      Catherine: Well, guess I better go and get this file all ready for Ecklie.
                      Grissom: Oh retail, cease thy sting.
                      Catherine: Who said that?
                      Grissom: My boss back when I was in high school and worked in a grocery store.

                      (sorry it's long. I tend to overreact when I write.)
                      Last edited by Princess-Snake; 05-24-2007, 09:44 PM. Reason: Counting error. Geez, even a four-year-old knows how to count to three.
                      "But I don't want to be among mad people."
                      You can't help that. We're all mad here. Every fucking one of us.

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                      • #12
                        AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA <breathe> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
                        ...how do used tampons attract thieves? ---Sleepwalker

                        Chickens are Asexual!

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Princess-Snake View Post
                          Guard: Walker. I am the executioner, sheriff, executioner, judge, executioner, jury, and if necessary, the executioner.
                          Catherine: You said executioner three times.
                          Acually executioner was said 4 times.
                          I for one salute this parkade ninja of yours. ~ Gravekeeper

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth TrainedChimp View Post
                            Acually executioner was said 4 times.
                            Oops. Sorry. My mistake.
                            "But I don't want to be among mad people."
                            You can't help that. We're all mad here. Every fucking one of us.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Here we go...

                              Agents Mulder and Scully enter a crime scene and encounter the charred body of a young man.

                              Scully: This is weird. He's burned all to hell, but the cubicle around him hasn't been touched.

                              Mulder: I've seen this before. In an incident a few years back, a CSR spontaneously combusted because a customer demanded a free phone, but not the one she had. She wanted a different, "cooler" phone. The customer was so irritatingly retarded, that the poor CSR burst into flames in a fit of rage.

                              Scully: My God.

                              Mulder: Because the customer was only talking to the CSR, only he was killed, but the workspace was not damaged, as it was an inanimate object. The customer did not get hurt, either, as she had the intelligence of a common household object, such as a lamp. But at least lamps are pleasant.

                              Scully: How could a CSR just burn up because of a customer?

                              Mulder: The customer wasn't human. She had actually come from the SC homeworld of Numbnutia. These extraterrestrial beings have amazing powers of dumbassery. Pyrokenesis is one of them.

                              THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE.
                              "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

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