Remembered a few old ones. (some swearing and long)

[GingerBiscuit]

A few stories from the last two years of my employment:

Explain This Bill Woman:
So, it's christmas, it's hugely busy, it's lunchtime, there's a queue down to the end of the store.

I'm serving someone and this woman pushes in front SCREAMING 'explain this bill! Explain this bill! NOW! IT'S WRONG! EXPLAIN THIS BILL!'
I ask her to hang on a second while I finish serving the lady I'm serving, and she keeps screaming
'NO! NOW!'
I can't see a member of management anywhere, so I apologise to the woman I'm serving, get another staff member to finish the transaction (I should have probably done it myself and told the woman to wait, but I'd only been there three months and couldn't think of anything to do)
Me- stunning cashier.
SC- B***H from hell.

ME: Ok, could you show me what the problem is?
SC: I WANT YOU TO EXPLAIN THIS BILL! IT'S WRONG!
Me: Could you show me whats wrong?
SC: IT'S THE WRONG PRICE! AND THE PRICE IS DOUBLED NEXT TO IT!
Me: *checks shelf* No, that's the right price.
SC: BUT IT SAYS THERE, £2 OFF!
Me: That's for the almonds. You have pistachios. The pistachios are not on offer.
SC: well, it should say that.
Me: It does. Right there.
SC: Well what about the doubled price?
Me: What doubled price?
SC: THERE!
*she points at the section on the receipt where multiples are calculated*
Me: Did you buy two?
SC: Yes.
Me: Well, that's what it is. We put them trhough at the same time, and it's calculated there.
SC: Oh.
*stalks off*

Theis was my first ever really aggressive customer, and at points there I thought she was genuinely going to slap me. I was shaking afterwards.

Evil Old Biddy:
It's 9:30 in the morning, we haven't been working very long, and there are two people queueing to be served. I serve the other lady, it's a normal transaction. The older woman behind her is huffing and stamping her feet. It's 9:30 AM and you're having to wait ten seconds! So I serve her, she's snappy all the way throuhg her transaction.
I ask if she wants a bag and she shouts 'NO!' at me.
ALright lady, I wasn't going to force you to take one.
When I give her her change she snatches it from my hand.
I give her her receipt, but as I'm handing it over I drop it.
So she snatches it , shouts 'STUPID GIRL' and storms out.
While checking to make sure no-one else was in store I murmured (under my breath, of course) that I hoped she fell diwn a hole on her way home.

Acidophilus woman:
ANother early morning one. It is 9:10 in the morning on delivery day. We are opening the first tote. we're a smallish company, for a corporation, we don't hire night-time staff, so it's only us. It usually takes a working day and a half to get all the delivery out, if it's largish.

So we're half way through the first tote, and I'm on the ladder for the top shelves. This woman comes up, GRABS MY ARM and says 'where's the acidophilus!'
Me: Well, it's in one of the delivery totes at the moment. I'm afraid we've only just started putting them out, and we don't know which one of 55 totes it's in- if you come back later we might have found it.
SC: I want it now.
Me: As I said, we don't know where it is in the moment. It's in one of 55 totes this size and it probably hasn't been ticked off by the manager yet...
SC: WLL, IT'S NOT VERY GOOD TO ME THERE, IS IT!

How hard is it to just fucking accept I wouldn't be able to find it, even the manager doesn't know where it is yet, and if you come back later we'll have found it?
Hell, if youd been nice and understanding I'd offer to keep one aside for you for when you could be in next, but I won't now. Bitch.

[chainedbarista]

I ask if she wants a bag and she shouts 'NO!' at me.

that's right; she doesn't need a bag because she's already one...

sorry granny, that your whole ten second wait signalled the coming of the four horsemen...sheesh.

ten seconds; wow, in her mind that must be an eternity away from causing anguish for another clerk.

if i live long enough, i want to be the loud, outspoken woman, but not this type; this is the type i loathe and wish a hundred horrible ailments of the ancients upon.

[Peppergirl]

A few stories from the last two years of my employment:

This woman comes up, GRABS MY ARM and says 'where's the acidophilus!'

Ok, seriously? How did you keep from assaulting her when she grabbed you???

You are a better woman that I, clearly.

[GingerBiscuit]

I don't know how I didn't assualt her. She could have easily caused me to fall.
It happens a lot. You'll be stacking a shelf, and an old lady will creep up behind you, grab you with her claw like hand and screech
'DO you stock those pills, dearie?'
And you can feel them sucking the youth from you with every breath. ANd what with having been bullied badly at school, my first reaction to someone sneaking up behind me is 'Arrrh, they're going to hurt me!' followed by an elbow to whatever bit is closest. And I have BONY elbows.

I haven't actually hit someone yet, have stopped myself half way there.
COnsidering that most of the people who do this are old ladies with osteoporosis, I'd probably break one of them.

[Sliceanddice]

Oh god.... i can tell you right noe if sone one grabbed my arm when i was on the ladder i would have a heart attack and fall on top of them. Because im afraid of heights and have an issue with being snuck up on. I would make sure i fell on them too.

[Sofar]

So she snatches it , shouts 'STUPID GIRL' and storms out.
While checking to make sure no-one else was in store I murmured (under my breath, of course) that I hoped she fell diwn a hole on her way home.

Are you sure no one heard you? You could have gotten in trouble for that one.

[MrSunshineState]

sorry granny, that your whole ten second wait signalled the coming of the four horsemen...sheesh.

There were times dealing with SCs that I wished I could summon Ric, Arn, Ole, and Tully

[GingerBiscuit]

Are you sure no one heard you? You could have gotten in trouble for that one.

I was the only person on the shop floor, and the till gives you a view of the entire shop. We aren't huge, really.
I was just so upset and angry. Didn't think about it.
But then, I have said stuff like that in front of my manager and he's laughed. He's great.